im surrounded by people who are always feeling sorry for themselves..
always comparing their lives to others and making sure that their life is worst than anyone elses
why? shouldnt u just be proud that yes u have it difficult but still manage to keep ur head above water? why the need to state “haan… lekin meri life bohot hi bla bla bla…”
I dislike comparisons.. and dislike self pitying… its not attractive at all..
Re: self pitying
^^ People do it to get sympathy and attention :)
Solution: Don't give them both and they'll be ok
Re: self pitying
or they jus want someone to listen....u dnt have to do anything...jus lend an ear...thts it!
its an idea to push them to do something about the disappointments they have about their life,rather than jus not giving a damn? sometimes ppl jus need to be told they can change things around! dnt be so cold
or they jus want someone to listen....u dnt have to do anything...jus lend an ear...thts it!
its an idea to push them to do something about the disappointments they have about their life,rather than jus not giving a damn? sometimes ppl jus need to be told they can change things around! dnt be so cold
Re: self pitying
not a good way to deal with own life's problems. there is a distinction to be seen between people's problems and the problms created in the person's lives.
self pity is not helpful. it is ever more destructive because then people try to project their insecurities within, onto those very people who can other wise, help them.
or they jus want someone to listen....u dnt have to do anything...jus lend an ear...thts it!
its an idea to push them to do something about the disappointments they have about their life,rather than jus not giving a damn? sometimes ppl jus need to be told they can change things around! dnt be so cold
not being cold. I just dont think one needs to compare their life with someone else ALL the time.. and does not need to complain about their life ALL the time..
lending an ear is one thing... but if u encourage them and then get the same old story about "oh u have it better than me thats why u can say that".. then i really dont have an ear..
I know some people generally do have it really bad.. and my heart goes out to them and i wish i could help them.. but the moment they start comparing and telling me i have it better... thats where i draw the line. One should never compare
Re: self pitying
just be str8 ...tht u dnt wanna knw their sob story unless they r willing to change it for the better
or better yet dnt make eye contact lol...i can understand if it gets into a bad habit
Have you met ami123? :halo:
Re: self pitying
^ hehe... lol no. But I think may have read a few posts
S4M_1, hehe... i think just being totally oblivious is my attitude from now on
Re: self pitying
ugh.
Re: self pitying
^ u ok?
well gupshup is to discuss things and people discuss their problems to get help. if you get annoyed when you read people's sob stories then maybe you should not read them go to another post. maybe you should not discuss with them your 'wonderful perfect life' because it is very obvious that someone who is in pain will think and say to you that you have it better.
you want people to feel happy for you when you announce your luckily problem- free life yet when the same people talk about their problems suddenly you cannot take it?
it is true what they say. people will only join you in your happiness but they will not come near you in your sadness. how selfish.
Re: self pitying
^ who said i was talking about GS?
I was talking specifically about people "around me".. and ive never said anything about "sob stories" and not being around someone if they genuinely have a problem..
Im talking about people comparing their lives and saying how they are far better worst than someone else...
It's funny how people are quick to judge...
and ive never discussed how wonderful my life is in "comparison" to anyone elses... If im content and happy with my life... therefore I am.. and i say that. I dont say "My life is so much better than urs"
tsk
Re: self pitying
I agree with Dushi...self-pity is actually destructive. It achieves nothing but digs a deeper hole of depression and negativity. Its all to do with not letting go of the past or thinking too much about your tomorrows. Meanwhile your today and now slips away and believe me, when it goes, you will be crying for this same today you never paid attention to.
I dislike comparisons.. and dislike self pitying... .
same here , I am happy with my life and never compare my life with others .
^ u ok?
multitude of things.
Re: self pitying
Oh Sadzzz, people do that all the time! I cant stand it because it feels like a competition instead of a conversation: Whose got it worse? How annoying! Ive met girls like that and some of them start off by saying "Oh, thats nothing! You should hear what I have to go through...blah blah blah"...
I just try to avoid topics that will get them started on how miserable they are because Im not interested...
Its one thing to ask for advice but another thing to turn it into a game...
Re: self pitying
i agree wid sadzz, i mean sab kee life mein apney hisaab kee problems hain, telling ur problems and comparing ur problems to others are 2 different things. Jab koi kehta hai naa "u r lucky key tumheing woh nahi hua jo mujhay hua" mera dil chahta hai key utha key sar pey kuch maaroon. My belief is har kisi ko apnee problem MAMOTH lagtee hai.
Oh Sadzzz, people do that all the time! I cant stand it because it feels like a competition instead of a conversation: Whose got it worse? How annoying! Ive met girls like that and some of them start off by saying "Oh, thats nothing! You should hear what I have to go through...blah blah blah"...
I just try to avoid topics that will get them started on how miserable they are because Im not interested...
Its one thing to ask for advice but another thing to turn it into a game...
thats exactly what im talking about...
u'll mention how u've jsut had a busy week.. and someone will start comparing their busy schedule to urs or how bad they have it in comparison... and i just think, "its not a competition... all im saying is that ive had a really busy week" pfft..
i dont even say things anymore.. i dont even mention what goes on in my life anymore cus its pointless...
Re: self pitying
^ nah ...i think at times its just a heroic act...tht o my life is such a disappointment still i put up with it, where as ur life was handed to u with a silver spoon so in other words u dint work for wat u have...like the saying goes 'grass is always greener on the other side'
they say things like this to ppl tht r either well off or have a gud job or the future is looking bright...but wat they seem to miss out on is... all the late nights staying up working hard or studying for thoes examz just so u get the results ur aiming for to build ur own future...
they want their part of the cake and take some with them too...cant happen unless ur willing to put in the hrs !
discussing probz is one thing...comparing is another... i knw its annoying..so i keep it simple... i dnt get too friendly with anyone...cept ppl i love