Half of our parties start as mix gathering and end up being a segregated setup anyways. Women are not interested in talking politics and guys don't gossip or back bite, so segregation happens naturally
That's exactly why i like segregated dawats. For most of us in our group we meet at dawats only and have the chance to talk to other women there and can talk freely. At weddings I like it non-segregated as there are a lot of people and i would be sitting with my family even if i don't have anyone to talk too.
When she has to do a testicular exam as a doctor what does she do?
So bizarre
Actually becoming a doc in our society is all about the show baazi anyway.
I agree about the doctor part. Not all, but for most they will wax eloquent about hijab, niqab and what not but when it comes to earn money, money and more money no one cares if its a halal income, haram income and if non-segregation and more if involved.
LOL…your dad was “pissed” b/c another man’s wife CHOSE not to eat? What I don’t understand is why it annoyed your dad so much to the point that he actually had to make negative comments about them. It’s not like the couple was complaining or making a scene about her not being able to eat with her veil.
You made an assumption that the niqabi doctor was uncomfortable and thus stopped eating. Did you or your dad ever consider the possibility that maybe she stopped eating b/c she didn’t like the food or wasn’t hungry?
Its amazing how many of our society’s issues come from stuff like this. Other people make choices that have absolutely no effect on us…yet we still feel the need to give them negative attention and portray them in a negative manner. God forbid if we could just people be and not ask that they justify their reasons for living life a certain way (especially when what they’re doing has 0 effect on our life).
When she has to do a testicular exam as a doctor what does she do?
So bizarre
Actually becoming a doc in our society is all about the show baazi anyway.
Maybe she only wears it for dinner events. I guess she will try to pass on that patient to a male doctor or only see female patients. Not sure if that is allowedin the West though. What if she is working in ED or in family practice and a guy comes in with an emergency like testicular torsion and she is the only doctor available? Will she refuse to see the patient and risk harming the patient? I've sure even the most conservative groups would surely make exceptions for medical examination/treatment. What if a female only had the choice of a male doctor as there are limited female doctors, will she still get a pap smear if required? In the UK, hospitals ban face coverings of all types due to infection risk and security/identification. Also it hinders communication if a someone cannot see your face especially if they are elderly and deaf and they reply on lip reading. Maybe it could work if she was a surgeon she can have her face covered in OR. It would probably be easier if she practiced in a Muslim country if she wanted to wear a niqab while working that way her choices could be accommodated for with female only hospital or something if that exists. I have plenty of friends who are hijabi doctors and they do fine. But I think it might be awkward wearing a niqab and treating male patients and not sure if such a good rapport will be developed.
ive been to a few segregated weddings. some had a parda, other didnt. the ones without parda, the ladies just wore their burqa.
at one wedding that was not segregated. there was a doctor's family, his wife does burqa plus niqab.. she is a doctor too. my dad was pissed cuz the wife wasnt eating at all and the man was eating away heartily. wife was just lifting her veil and taking a few bites then finally stopped as i think she saw ppl were looking at her. she was the only niqabi in the wedding. my dad was annoyed as he coudlnt understand why such an educated couple cannot compromise, and why the lady couldnt just remove her niqab. (that was my dad's personal opinion as he thought she looked ridiculous eating that way)
I'm surprised people expect that a degree of some sort is going to make someone compromise on their principles.
When she has to do a testicular exam as a doctor what does she do?
So bizarre
Actually becoming a doc in our society is all about the show baazi anyway.
Maybe she doesn't have to conduct such an exam, so it may not even be an issue. Besides, even if she does hypothetically do it, then by the same logic we could say that if we need to temporarily expose some body parts for a medical exam, then why should we bother covering them up at all on any occasion?
I'm surprised people expect that a degree of some sort is going to make someone compromise on their principles.
Maybe she doesn't have to conduct such an exam, so it may not even be an issue. Besides, even if she does hypothetically do it, then by the same logic we could say that if we need to temporarily expose some body parts for a medical exam, then why should we bother covering them up at all on any occasion?
I mean temporarily exposing it for the purpose of curing or treating for positive outcome doesn't mean it should always be exposed when everything is normal. If someone is suspected of having breast cancer and needs her breasts examined does not mean she should always expose her breasts. The intent is different if for the purpose of preserving life vs lustful/sexual intent. And to a professional they would not have the secondary intent. Besides gloves would be used. If the person involved is uncomfortable she should make it clear but in emergencies she cannot make that decision.Exceptions for necessities are always made. Like if someone fainted in a burning house and they were in a semi-naked state should male firefighters or passers-by not help because of the situation? Unless she talks to the patient she may not know when/if it is required. I am not sure if doctors in the West can refuse patients on basis of gender but I am sure in Islamic or Asian countries people can go to their own gender specific doctor unless an emergency arises for which exceptions should be made. Besides, in the case of the niqabi doctor it is not made clear whether she wears niqab at all times or only specific times so I guess we cannot assume she wears it while working. She may wear it to and from work but not during closed doors. Interesting..but think this discussion may be heading off topic tho
ive been to a few segregated weddings. some had a parda, other didnt. the ones without parda, the ladies just wore their burqa.
at one wedding that was not segregated. there was a doctor's family, his wife does burqa plus niqab.. she is a doctor too. my dad was pissed cuz the wife wasnt eating at all and the man was eating away heartily. wife was just lifting her veil and taking a few bites then finally stopped as i think she saw ppl were looking at her. she was the only niqabi in the wedding. my dad was annoyed as he coudlnt understand why such an educated couple cannot compromise, and why the lady couldnt just remove her niqab. (that was my dad's personal opinion as he thought she looked ridiculous eating that way)
I know how some hijabi families who due to some unavoidable reasons have to attend such weddings do.I have been to some such weddings and we normaly leave withn 15minutes and have some good dinner at some good place.(i always look for resturants where seperation can be made or choose the side table).
The only reason for such comments is that some hijabi families try to make both ends meet , doing hijab in non segregated events. what other hijabis do is they just dont attend such weddings, now our relatives whie inviting us tell us that the event will be non segregated/ or they will make segregation for ladies. In that case i endup standing out side the main hall with my friends and my begums enjoys in the darba(thats what we call the small seperation)
Just thought to tell the other side of the story. :)
ive been to a few segregated weddings. some had a parda, other didnt. the ones without parda, the ladies just wore their burqa.
at one wedding that was not segregated. there was a doctor's family, his wife does burqa plus niqab.. she is a doctor too. my dad was pissed cuz the wife wasnt eating at all and the man was eating away heartily. wife was just lifting her veil and taking a few bites then finally stopped as i think she saw ppl were looking at her. she was the only niqabi in the wedding. my dad was annoyed as he coudlnt understand why such an educated couple cannot compromise, and why the lady couldnt just remove her niqab. (that was my dad's personal opinion as he thought she looked ridiculous eating that way)
One of my sisters does niqab, and eating isn't that much a of a problem. Yes, you can't eat a Big Mac in public so she just makes different food choices.
Maybe she wasn't eating coz of other reasons, because if she had been doing niqab long enough, she would probably be used to eating in public.
Absolutely, being a niqabi myself, i dont see how my choice is affecting or hurting anyone while i am out in mixed gatherings.as likewise the women who dont take hijab, niqaab are not causing any harm to me. And i dont have any trouble eating with niqaab on, its just that i could never eat pait bhar kay when surrounded by so many people, whether it be men or women.
Can you please abandon this society and do what YOU want, not what society dictates?
dont get me wrong, I love your constant bashing of a society that, you feel, has wronged you. But why not let people have segregated events if they want? Why must you see everything so negatively. If you dont like them dont go.
I went to a segregated event and I didnt like it.
But thats cool.
I mean temporarily exposing it for the purpose of curing or treating for positive outcome doesn't mean it should always be exposed when everything is normal. If someone is suspected of having breast cancer and needs her breasts examined does not mean she should always expose her breasts. The intent is different if for the purpose of preserving life vs lustful/sexual intent.
And that is exactly my point. What I'm saying is that if something is done in certain exceptional situations, then that's exactly what they are. Being the husband of a niqabi myself, I also get the question that what would she do in such and such circumstance (situations that involve her having to uncover her face), which are exceptional circumstances.
my dad was annoyed as he coudlnt understand why such an educated couple cannot compromise, and why the lady couldnt just remove her niqab. (that was my dad's personal opinion as he thought she looked ridiculous eating that way)
I just thought I'd add that their coming in that setting was already a compromise.
ive been to a few segregated weddings. some had a parda, other didnt. the ones without parda, the ladies just wore their burqa.
at one wedding that was not segregated. there was a doctor's family, his wife does burqa plus niqab.. she is a doctor too. my dad was pissed cuz the wife wasnt eating at all and the man was eating away heartily. wife was just lifting her veil and taking a few bites then finally stopped as i think she saw ppl were looking at her. she was the only niqabi in the wedding. my dad was annoyed as he coudlnt understand why such an educated couple cannot compromise, and why the lady couldnt just remove her niqab. (that was my dad's personal opinion as he thought she looked ridiculous eating that way)
I dont understand it all. Why is your dad pissed at another couple for doing what they find is right? And why should they compromise, because your dad thinks so? I dont understand desi people and their mentality. They have to have a problem with everything. I could understand any annoyance if the couple was creating a scene for not having a segregated function, but they are not. They are enjoying themselves as everyone else. She is a doctor and its her personal choice whether she wears the niqaab or not. Remember its her face, yeah?! Why is everyone making it sound as if wearing the niqaab or doing parda is the act of jahiliat?! Urgh. I dont remember reading anywhere in that its impossible for a female muslim doctor to examine a male patient? Why all this discussion?! Dont we always say "oh he is a doctor, its alright" when a female lady goes for a male physician? but there is a problem if a hijabi doc has a male patient? .. weird.
Let her DAD have a right to have an opinion. he has the right what he perceived not right. Any one not having complete information may get pissed. It is our (mullah log/hijabis) mistake not to properly present this to people like him.
i think we should go beyond her DAD and move forward with this thread.
exactly guys. i was just telling you the opinion of another person. i, as a matter of fact, support the niqabi. i think it is her wish, however she eats or whatever she wears cheers.
her dad's a gentleman...he's concerned that the lady's not eating while the man's stuffing his face with what you call "bad food". if this so called religious man was a considerate human being, shouldnt he make his wife as comfortable as possible and that too in a gathering? sometimes we become so religiously righteous that we forget basic human courtesy...thats the problem with a lot of maulwis
her dad's a gentleman...he's concerned that the lady's not eating while the man's stuffing his face with what you call "bad food". if this so called religious man was a considerate human being, shouldnt he make his wife as comfortable as possible and that too in a gathering? sometimes we become so religiously righteous that we forget basic human courtesy...thats the problem with a lot of maulwis
her dad's a gentleman...he's concerned that the lady's not eating while the man's stuffing his face with what you call "bad food". if this so called religious man was a considerate human being, shouldnt he make his wife as comfortable as possible and that too in a gathering? sometimes we become so religiously righteous that we forget basic human courtesy...thats the problem with a lot of maulwis
Go back and re-read what was actually written by that poster.
1) A specific comment was made about why the woman couldn't just remove her niqab. What exactly about their behavior led a 3rd party to believe that she was not keeping the niqab on by her own free will? And what should her husband do in the case? Force his wife to remove her niqab? Assuming the husband himself is aware of his wife's beliefs when it comes to niqab....perhaps he realized that the best way to make her as comfortable as possible would be too not make a scene and continue acting normal.
2) Like I said already.....How does anyone who wasn't sitting at that table and/or spoke with the couple themselves know the exact reason behind her not eating? How do we know that maybe she wasn't hungry or didn't like the food? Its pretty safe to say that based on what was written....the niqabi woman didn't look like she was being starved.
P.S. A true gentleman doesn't sit back and bash others if/when he's truly concerned about a woman's welfare. He gets up and tries to actually do something about it. In this case, a truly concerned non-mehram gentleman could have gotten up and spoken to the niqabi woman's husband inquiring if she was ok OR even sent his own wife/daughter to speak with the niqabi woman herself to see if she was ok and try to make her feel at ease IF she was uncomfortable.
If the person paying for the wedding/affair wants to segregate the crowd...let them!
And as far as it being good or bad...well...I think its nice if someone wants to create a safe and secure environment for people who wear hijab and niqab to enjoy themselves and have fun too. What's wrong with that?
It’s not like the couple was complaining or making a scene about her not being able to eat with her veil.
cheers.