Segregation at Parties

Lifestyle Relationships
1

What is your view on gender segregation at parties/weddings/get togethers? What’s wrong in being able to talk to other husbands and wives, and sitting with your own families at dinner tables?

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Re: Segregation at Parties

That's the way I like them. Every wedding/party I've been to has been like that.

3

Segregation at Parties

There is nothing wrong with it. When I entertain at my house, family or couples from our social circle in our same age bracket, it's never segregated. We all sit together...the husbands are all friends/comfortable with the wives.

At my family dawats, it can go either way. Most of my naniyal walay are all married within the family/extended family anyway, so their is no formality. We all sit wherever we want...next to whomever we want. Sometimes is starts out segregated but eventually we all mix up together. It's no big deal really.

If I'm invited somewhere else where it's clearly segregated, then we follow what everyone else is doing. At weddings/receptions in hotels, my husband and I always sit together.

4

Re: Segregation at Parties

I think it's another manifestation of how our "society" is full of it. Gender segregation on one hand, then on the other, a sexually repressed nation, munday going to greener pastures to find sex-er-marriage with gori gals, and then not to mention, that outside these parties people are mixing and mingling anyway, so why make a show of it that we're so holy we keep a distance from the opposite sex?

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Re: Segregation at Parties

It's not about being 'holy', it's about comfort level. Some woman just wanna have fun at the weddings. They wanna wear whatever type of clothes they want, dance, sing, play pranks without being 'judged' or have people question their holiness. Islam allows it, so what?

6

Re: Segregation at Parties

Its a problem. I can't even check out any chic that i could send my mom for.

7

Re: Segregation at Parties

Please explain how getting rid of gender segregation helps the sexually repressed nation.

So that I don't have to imagine it myself.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

I don't get segregation in certain circumstances. I went to a wedding on the weekend and it wasn't segregated but they had a sheet put up in the corner for some women who wore a full out burqa to sit behind. I wondered two things 1) how did they walk across the entire hall whilst men were present to get to behind the sheet and 2) if they're already wearing a FULL burqa, why do they need to be behind a sheet as well? Is it like double protection?? But then I realised it was because so they could take their burqa off to eat maybe? I dunno I couldn't see what was going on behind there.

I DO understand segragation in certain circumstances like when my friend had her mehndi, and she's a hijabi, they split the hall into two so the girls could be "free" and dance around and show their done up hair and their makeup... The mens side was hilarious... I swear I heard crickets.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

My Nikah reception was segregated because I wear hijab aswell as an abaya infront of my cousins as well.

I made it very clear to my parents that the party has to be segregated, otherwise I would be wearing an abaya on my own wedding, and that's silly.

Not everyone in the extended family was happy with it..oh well.

I had a great time, and so did all my sisters and friends who do hijab.

10

Re: Segregation at Parties

It's a pain to eat with a full face veil even if you're used to wearing it.. I can understand why they'd want a sheet/screen..

Everyone wants to relax and enjoy themselves at a wedding..

With Arabs often the burqa comes off and the legs and cleavage come out lol.. I've never seen this with Desis tho..

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Re: Segregation at Parties

There is male to female interaction outside of weddings which is unavoidable so I don't understand why it's segregated inside a wedding hall, if it's to not cast so much attention on a hijabi bride then wouldn't it just make more sense for her to to not sit in the dead center of the room to begin with? Do the bride+ groom sit next to each other? If so, are women/men allowed to come up on stage to take pictures. Or because it's segregated are men not allowed to take pictures with the groom etc. How do you make all of that work? I.E is it thoroughly segregated or is it a hodge bodge mess of wanting both aspects of a wedding.

Either way, complete segregation would only work if there are two separate entryways for males/females to enter by otherwise both genders are getting an eyeful of each other along with the waiters/waitresses.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

^ I don't think segregation means that you go to such extreme. It doesn't have to be total Taliban style organized gathering. It's not the end of the world or you'll go to hell if someone gets an eyeful of you.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

But it's not really an extreme or gray area. There's a defined concept of what segregation is so you're either following it through, or it's just a mess both genders interacting/ be near each other anyway. Nor does the post of my tone come off as hellish disgruntled lady (I think). My questions were more geared towards the full practice of the idea rather than just picking where and when people are segregated. Because then, it just comes off as silly.

14

Re: Segregation at Parties

I just go with the flow. Been to ton of segregated events and non-segregated events either way never bothered me. Most of the girls (sisters/friends) end up sitting together........don't know about you but my brothers are buzzkills at most events.......so I don't really prefer to sit with the family anyway. They have fun with their friends and we with ours.

Then again...I'm not married. I could see how segregated events could be an issue if you want to sit with your spouse.....not there so can't really comment about that.

15

Re: Segregation at Parties

In all the weddings I've gone to, there was only one (aside from the ones at a masjid) where there was proper segregation in the banquet hall. Separate halls/rooms for the men and women. An all women wait staff for the ladies side and a female photographer for the women's side. In this setting, the hijabi women felt comfortable taking their hijab off and enjoying the wedding. I think the groom only joined his bride when it was family only and then whoever wanted to put her hijab back on, did so.

For the rest of the weddings, aside from the partition, the segregation is not complete - just done on a piecemeal basis.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

Who am I to encroach on someone's view, as long as it's not harming anyone. If I am close to someone and invited to their wedding which is segregated, I'll go and be happy for them.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

Defined by who?

18

Re: Segregation at Parties

Doesn't bother me.

19

Re: Segregation at Parties

I'm not a big fan of them. I prefer to have my family sitting together. My friend got married recently and hers was segregated. My hubby wasn't able to attend because of work but if he DID attend, he would not have known a single person on the guy's side. I would feel a bit awkward about that. This is why I really prefer families to sit together. Sometimes you just don't know other guests at weddings. Mind you I'm sure he'd find someone to talk to - he always does....but I just feel weird about it.

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Re: Segregation at Parties

Yes been to segregated weddings. Which ended up being non-segregated in the end. So i didn't see any point in that context. Khair..i don't mind them..if someone wants to celebrate their big day like that...but i try to stay away from segregated weddings. I get bored.