Re: Second marriage
^ she is not stupid if i tell her that she will ask me to file for divorce
Re: Second marriage
[QUOTE]
but my lawyer has advised me that its better if she asks for a divorce , so thats the best way i can think of provoking her ....status quo favors her not me
I wish there was a better solution but there isnt
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Yes there is a better solution. Be upfront and TELL HER THE TRUTH. Your lawyer sounds spineless --telling you to do something to "provoke" her into asking for a divorce instead of being honest and truthful
You married her. She is your wife. I dont know if you still love her, but somewhere in your heart you must have some degree of compassion or respect for her. Do not deceive her and humiliate her like this by breaking any bonds of trust she may have with you. If you are so sure she will divorce you, then please just tell her before you do it, to give her a chance to break free from you
Re: Second marriage
Be a man and talk to her. I don't see why anyone would want to stay with you after what you want to do to her.
Re: Second marriage
DAs Reich
So you will have 2 issues you pick which one
Either your new relationship will be considered adultery
or it will be considered polygamy
In terms of how the first one can be used against u in a divorce court, let's just say be ready to lose atleast half of everything savings, property, 401k you name it.
If you go by the polygamy route check how your state handles it because that can come with jail time. Oh, and I forgot to mention still be ready to lose atleast half of all and some good alimony depending on salary differential between u two.
Re: Second marriage
^ I thought of all that , thats why my lawyer says that its only a matter of her filing for divorce
this marriage lasted only a few months so that 50 % rule does not apply
Be a man and talk to her. I don't see why anyone would want to stay with you after what you want to do to her.
some people are opportunistic leaches the cling on to you until its the right time to leave you .....
you really hate women don't u?
LOL, you pretty much summed it up.
Re: Second marriage
das Reich
What state is this. Regardless of who files, if the reason given is adultery or polygamy you are the one in a weaker position. If the reason was irreconcilable differences, then there may be an out depending on who files for it. The polygamy issue is one that the state may come after you. I have seen divorces take place due to similar reasons and the court system heavily favours women. If she does not work or earns considerably less than you then the alimony and settlement can be significant
Re: Second marriage
^ yeah thats a good point, thats exactly the problem my lawyer is tyring to figure out ....I might even consider moving temporarily to pakistan until this whole issue resolves
I earn more than her but she is working as well the difference is not much she has a lot of other assests which I havent touched and duration of marriage is < 6 months.I want this divorce ASAP as within a few months I will finish my residencey and then with my new job the difference in salary will increase considerably
"irreconcilable differences" is the part thats hard to document , but I try to get witnesses whenever she trys to pick a fight.
the state is wisconsin
Re: Second marriage
OK, Sorry to jump in without having read the posts from the beginning, but am I clear in assuming that you want to marry some other lady and your first wife does not want to divorce you? You've been married to her for less than 6 months. If you file then it will be a financial setback for you, so you rather that she file. Why don't you just explain to her that you want to marry someone else and would appreciate an out of court settlement so neither of you are hurt financially. It will also be less painful I think.
Re: Second marriage
^I am NOT having an affair with someone if thats what some people are thinking
reason i want divorce is because i dont want to live with my present wife.
what u mentioned is an option but she has little to gain from such a settlement so I doubt she will comply.
Re: Second marriage
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: *“Whoever has two wives and inclines more towards one of them than the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.”** *
(narrated by al-Nisaa’i, ‘Ushrat al-Nisaa’, 3881; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, no. 3682).
Re: Second marriage
DAs Reich
If she really wants to mess with you she can try delaying tactics fully knowing that as a physician u will be making a lot more than as a resident.
Your current incomevat the time of divorce finalization will be a huge factor.
If I was her lawyer, I would play delaying tactics and make very significant demands for settlement to force your hand. She gains in either situation.
Your best hope is that she does not get a good lawyer.
^I am NOT having an affair with someone if thats what some people are thinking reason i want divorce is because i dont want to live with my present wife.
what u mentioned is an option but she has little to gain from such a settlement so I doubt she will comply.
I am sorry to have misunderstood.
In that case X2's advice is quite proper for your situation.
Re: Second marriage
^ thats okay , and X2 I appreciate ur sincere advice
Re: Second marriage
Das Reich u are welcome.
My honest advice is that you ahve more to lose by puting her in this situation where she initiates divorce based on you going with someone else.
Its probably best for you to initiate it, go for a quick settlement, basically both of you would have your own set of demands of distribution of assets. go for something low, she will invariable ask for something more than she wants as a bargain tool. now you can either at that time just say sure..i accept, and then its all done and over, or you can do another round and try to bring it down.
what you have to factor in is teh difference between your position and her in terms of the distribution, the lawyer costs to go thru a few rounds of negotiations, and peace of mind.
my advise once again...initiate it asap.