salam alaikum
Had a few questions
1- can a male have a second nikah without permission or knowledge of first wife
2-If wife objects can this be a grounds for divorce
3-what if the law of the land outlaws polygamy ...can we do nikah [with muslim witnesses] without formally having a court marriage
4-if wife refuses to take "mahr" what shud be done can we give it to someone in her family , force her to take it etc
thanks if possible plz quote a hadith that proves your point
:)....The responces to this threads proves my theory that there are more females on GS than Males........
To answer your Questions:
1) A couple came to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and asked they wanted to keep their marriage secret and tell no one......
He replied it is not considered a marriage if you do not announce it!
so check with scholars about that if they will confirm this Hadith. So you could do it if you were far from the first.
2) Sleeping with the enemy is only allowed in Marriage........:)
3) Most States in US have what is called common law marraige, all you need to declare in front of people that you are married.......and you are..
That in fact exactly what is called "Nikah" that both parties declare their intentions to live together in front of two witnesses.......Maulvi Sahib is not really needed......:)
4) It is the brides right to take it or to not take it....her choice....She can waive it.......since it is considered a Gift.
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reason I am asking these questions is because i dont want to violate any laws islamic or otherwise
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Well part of being a Muslim is following the laws of your land, as long as they dont contradict the laws of Islam. If multiple marriages are not legal in your country then you should not do this. Someone might say that it is fine as long as you dont register your marriage, but that it totally not fair to your potential second wife and potential children
if wife refuses to take "mahr" what shud be done can we give it to someone in her family , force her to take it etc
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Its her money, you shouldnt give it to her family. She can take it and give to her family. If she doesnt want to accept anything for herself why not take it and give it away to charity
....1) A couple came to our Holy Prophet (PBUH) and asked they wanted to keep their marriage secret and tell no one......
He replied it is not considered a marriage if you do not announce it!
so check with scholars about that if they will confirm this Hadith.So you could do it if you were far from the first.
.
i dont want to keep it secret ,there are no secret wives in islam but want to do the nikah with witnesses but break the news to her afterwards ... as a fait accompli
Well part of being a Muslim is following the laws of your land, as long as they dont contradict the laws of Islam. If multiple marriages are not legal in your country then you should not do this. Someone might say that it is fine as long as you dont register your marriage, but that it totally not fair to your potential second wife and potential children
agreed and more than that , thats not really following the law of the land either
Its her money, you shouldnt give it to her family. She can take it and give to her family. If she doesnt want to accept anything for herself why not take it and give it away to charity
thats what i was thinking too , but i will wait till end if he changes her mind
i dont want to keep it secret ,there are no secret wives in islam but want to do the nikah with witnesses but break the news to her afterwards ... as a fait accompli
common reich, that is really low. common akhlaq and honesty is important in islam for a reason. you wont go far by hurting her like that.
Wow this is really sad. Just know that to hurt any other human being is sin and this is your wife you are talking about who you at one point in front of the world took as a partner. I am not sure who/how she is so I cant tell you the best way to tell her, you should know. Try to tell her in a way that will hurt the least.
If the mehr is like $500 then off course it is degrading! I know that these days most parents don't even ask the girl before setting the amount and most of the time its not even fair. If it is a ridiculously low amount then give her more, see what her future plans are, maybe pay for education so that she can stand on her two feet. If she is educated, maybe help her move out and start a new life.
Q65:2. Thus when they fulfil their term appointed, either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such is the admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:
"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in *treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one." **(4:3)
**"You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter* **how hard you try." ** (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:
"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in *treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one." **(4:3)
**"You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter* **how hard you try." **(4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).
the verses do not outlaw polygamy
at any rate i dont expect the first marriage will last long after the second one is known.
I dont have kids so no worries
the verses do not outlaw polygamy
at any rate i dont expect the first marriage will last long after the second one is known.
I dont have kids so no worries
OH WOW you are cold, no worries? You are about to ruin someones life.
I didn't say it "outlaw"s polygamy but treating them equally is something you have to be capable of and from what I can see, you are not.
those verses r not outlawing polygamy but making u realise that u have to be just
and religion never allows u to hurt ur wife and get married and then surprise her with ur new wife and say no worries im bout to ruin her life cuz i have the right to do so
its really sad to know that u htink like that and ur gonna trea ur wife as dirt on ur shoes
i hope that the lady ur going to marry knows wat u think so she can make better decision about marrying u
Das reich, you are a disgusting creep. How can you say "no worries" when you plan on doing such a thing?
its guys like you whose actions and thoughts that give Muslims a bad name... kuch sharam karo, would u want someone to do this to your sister or daughteR?
why do we keep getting stuck in discussions about second marriages. its so damn annoying. Cant we think beyond this? like maybe about third and fourth marriages?
but my lawyer has advised me that its better if she asks for a divorce , so thats the best way i can think of provoking her …status quo favors her not me
I wish there was a better solution but there isnt
btw i think you are being too judgemental in the way you are answering my questions
