I am new here dont know the rules and regulations of this forum, but it hought that i would discuss my problem with u guys.i am 22 and my mom wants me to get married i am doing MBA, an di am the only daughter of my parents, but i really dont know that how to find a nice and decent guy, because people who wants to get married want jazhez or a house or they want to settle abraod.What should i do?few people apprached me but they were interested in friendship not getting married.i really dont know that i shud be sharing all this with u people or not but…
i dont have any other choice.can somebody tell me that how to find a nice and decent guy???
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Sister, trying to be friends is just a bahana guys use to try and get emotionally closer to a girl. Very few guys will actually approach you and tell you straight up that they want to get married. No one has that high self esteem to go around meeting girls and telling them that they want to get married. The fear of rejection is very strong.
So let guys approach you even if they want to be just friends.
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thanx for the reply but i dont believe in that kind of friendship they want.i am not a conservative person but this is agianst my rules, like if i talk to somebody in a nice manner the next question the person will ask is when are we going out or will u go out out with me on lunch or my friends have invited me on iftaar party,why dont u come with me.so they just dont want to be good friends and i have one or two friends i want my husband to be my best friend.
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Well friendships that develop into marriages don't happen overnight.......
I think it might better for you to ask your parents to introduce you to someone suitable, if you're into the arranged deal. If not, then be prepared to take risks, you don't always hit the jackpot on the first try.
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thanx but no thanx skhan jee.Dont u know the circumstances that getting married in todays scenerio is quiet impossible.As i mentioned in my first post that guys who come properly usually searching for miss world or universe or she must be the daughter of bill gates.So my parents are sick and tired of searching stupid rishtas for me do u know that it feels so disgraced when somebody comes to ur place eat look at u as if ur a thing and they r here to buy and after that they will say that no we r not interested.and forget about me.This is somethign vey painful for my mother.thast why ia m searching someone on my own.atleast i will be the one who will bear the pain not her.
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How about at Uni? U’ll both have stuff in common (studies, etc.)…U can see each other there and spend time getting to know each other…and u need time to know if he’ll be ur best friend…but that’s how i met my fiance, and yes he is my best friend 
And ur Mum is probably just looking for one now, cos it takes time to find a good rishta and even then, more time to arrange wedding etc…so if u start hunting now, whether on ur own or thru parents…it mite take a couple of yrs…so relax, cos the more u stress about it, the harder it will seem…and pray (it helps)…good luck, i know it’s hard 
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Kiara, ok so you don't want to go about the traditional way, fine your call. But it might help to open up a little towards men who just want to be friends...who knows it might develop into something more. Like someone said earlier, no one is going to approach you and ask for your hand in marriage right off the bat. Unless you look like Miss Universe :)
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Kiara,
Generally speaking, there are only 2 ways of finding a spouse:
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Arranged marriage - Your family introuduces to someone, they come to look at you etc. etc. etc…and you mentioned in one post you don’t want to go through that.
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You meet a guy on your own…either at Uni, or through a friend…or by numerous other means…get to know him(ie. become friends), and the 2 of you decide that you want to get married. You mentioned that you don’t want to become friends with guys.
Exactly what options are you looking for then? Do you just want a nice, decent guy to come up to you and on the first meeting say that he wants to marry you?
You said you’re searching for a guy on your own…How will you know whether or not a guy is “nice, decent” unless you become friends with him…where you get to know his personality, his beliefs, his expectations from his future wife etc? Do you want to agree to marry a guy without talking to him a few times? If you’re not willing to have lunch with a guy at a public place, or go to a iftaar party at someone’s house with him where both of you will be in a group setting, then exactly how do you plan on having a conversation with a guy to find out whether or not you two are compatible?
If you’re not willing to spend time with a guy(in a public place, nothing inappropriate), if you’re not willing to become friends with a guy and give him the chance to get to know your personality, then why should the guy agree to marry you?
BTW, I apologize if my post comes across as being rude…trust me that’s not my intention. You don’t want to go through the whole arranged marriage thing, you want to find someone on your own but when a guy approaches you, you’re not willing to become his friend(NOT his girlfriend, but just a friend)…I’m just confused as to what kind of option are you looking for.
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thanx kashmiri that was really nice.infact i haev somebody in my uni he dropped the semester and he is serious about getting married but he is from a different sect and my condition is ok i will marry u but u have to change ur sect,otherwise forget it.duaon mein yaad rakhna.
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Ur welcome…so sect is a problem ay? 
Well i don’t know too much about that stuff, but if it’s important to him (as urs is to u) then i doubt he wud change that…that wud mean he wud have to go against his family rite? But still, if u really like each other then i hope u can work something out…will keep u in my prayers 
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ok LOST and SKHAN.The problem is that i have no problems in having friendship with peopel but i believe in pure friendship i also believe that u can faal in love with a friend but the problem ur not understanding is that guys nowadays just want to fool around and this is not friendship that in 2nd or 3rd meeting ur asking a girl to go out with him.i am a working lady i am also studying its a very tough life routine and i have 2 male friends but they r very nice and true friends i know i can trust them and they r married they both r my co workers. Lost u were not rude u r just not getting my point.I live in todays' world, but that does not mean that i am approchable to anybody i am a girl and i have a very good six sense.For guys friendship means going out dating and blah blah blah.U know when someone asks that will u be my friend it means he is a jerk or a fraud.coz like LOVE friendship also just happens bas hojati hai.u dont need to say this that will u be my friend?.just talk to the person and simply try to know that person and tahts it the person or u will automatically feel that u have a strong bond or relation ship with that person.i hope now u will understand.
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You scorn the tradition of arranged marriages but at the same time you want a guy to change his sect for you?
Good luck.
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kiara, from reading ya replies, i don't think you are ready for such a commitment called "marriage".
i think ya comments and concerns are simply coming from the pressure of your parents, u want to make them happy and in doing so you make make a haste decision.
i do hope thou u find that special person u r looking for.
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Thank u soooo much for ur concern orpheus:) , but honestly speaking i am very much ready to get married.U are right that i am worried because of my parents specially my mother wants me to setttle down,and u know wat i also want the same thing i want to get married have 2 ro 3 or may be 4 kids:blush: and want to live my life like a normal lady.
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EVERYTHING you say contradicts yourself... you want something, BUT you dont want it....
you want my HONEST opinion? you arent ready for committed relationship SUCH as marriage... ask your parents to backoff from your case and let u finish what*EVER* you want..
i maybe wrong..but i think u dont want this either.. just listening cuz of parents' sake/happiness/factor/etc..
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You’re not serious, Are you?
OK, if you are serious, then let me very respectfully tell you that if you don’t get married; don’t have 2 or 3 or may be 4 kids, you’d still be living your life like a normal lady. Make up your mind about what you want and how you want it. But, I suspect that you have your mind made up.
Best of luck! 
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Faizy i am afraid like other people.u r right i want to get married but i dont want to.I am afraid of the circumstances after marriage i have seen so many couples who suffered after getting married,but this is also true that like every girl i have this dream of a loving and caring husband and cute kids.But ur right i am afraid.I just dont know wat to do.
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make up your mind .. biggest things in life sneak up on you and after you go through them, u realize that they werent that big..
regarding fears, well possibility is there..in both cases.. i've seen marriages fail after like 20 years and 3 kids...
on the other hand, i've seen people NEVER knowing about each other before marriage, and masha-allah are living happily.. infact, have a MISALI family..
dont get into something because 'well you HAVE to, everybody does'
......... best of luck :-)
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where are u from? what city? maybe pple here on gupshup can set u up with someone they know....ive seen lots of couples who are set up getting married....
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completly agree with faizy bahi .