Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
^ then he is not a friend
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
I’ve given my car to this guy for God knows how many times, but a refusal for once or twice lead to situation mentioned in post 19.
This is not a single case and I’m sure many of us goes through these kind of scenarios on frequent basis.
Once, I was in my hometown and a guy from school / college days (who was not a buddy / friend, but just good hello hi) called for borrowing some money. Firstly, I didn’t have that amount with me as I had transferred all my savings to abba’s account (who was indebted due to his soft dealings with people and some guys who were naik namazi didn’t return his money after taking qasam on Quran). Secondly, I didn’t have my cheque book with me. Thirdly, I never like to borrow and lend money to friends/ relatives until some extreme circumstances arise. So, I told him that I don’t have that much money with me. He probably asked for less money and I told him that I didn’t have my cheque book with me. After that day (Its been 4-5 years) that person never contacted me again. 
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
No harm in giving car, but the timing is odd.
Ok let me tell you complete scenario.
A friend said that I need your car to pick my brother from airport, who is coming with family and has luggage. This guy got a car at his home as well. I asked him that if the flight is early in night and you can return car by 12 night, I have no issue. (I restricted him for 12 as there was some complaint going by union in our building that people remain outside for longer time in night and all the night watch-man has to open main gate for cars. Further, I have to go to office in morning and I can't wait till early hours of morning for return of car).
When I text this to the guy, he replied 'Thanks for your conditional approval, but flight is in late hours. I'm going to arrange rent a car'. I replied 'Hope you understand and there are no harsh feelings'. In reply I got a message ' stop messaging me followed by a slang'. I knew the slang but reconfirmed 'slag?'. he said it again and then I've to given him shut-up call. See how inconsiderate people are and how it is difficult to say 'No'.
Ok if that is the case then what kind of a friend is he who does not even understand his friends situation ....
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
Baqol shayar:
Go zara si baat pe barson ke yaarane gaye
haan itna to huwa kuch log pehchane gaye :cobra:
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
Ok if that is the case then what kind of a friend is he who does not even understand his friends situation ....
say if there was no such situation and I denied, didn't I get right to refuse him favor? Many people don't understand that refusal of favour doesn't justify arrogant attitude in return. Thats why the question 'how to say 'No'?
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
As explained in later posts, dil mera bhi wadda ae ( majj jitna nahin), but there was a reason for refusal (not refusal but conditional approval).
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
just say, "my insurance doesn't cover the third party. sorry!"
He knew that is not the case as he got this favour umpteen times.
[QUOTE]
what if the car is involved in an accident or worse someone is killed? it's NOT advisable to let anyone other, than the family member, to drive the car...there could be insurance and/or legal issues.
[/QUOTE]
shubh shubh bolo
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
alright.. maan liya jo aapne kiya sahi kiya… but according to my point of view… DIL Majj jitna hi bara hona chahiyeey Bhaiya 
coz agar me hota to me car de deta and kehta “Oye KAKA subha time se adha ghanta pehle aajana nahi to me tumhari aur tumhari Majj ki band baja dunga” 
but apki situation shayed mere jesi nahi ho.. me to jisko friend banata hoon phir jee jaan se nibhata hoon dosti 
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
No…one need not be a doormat to be a good person… you can say no for whtever reason if you want to. It wasn’t an emergency either.
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
After reading that what was the other party’s attitude, would you again and again opt for ‘ji jaan se dosti nibhana’. I think there is a limit of leverage in every relationship. meethe bano ge to log haRap kar jaen ge. Thats why I gave example of what my father had to go through for being nice with people.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
No...one need not be a doormat to be a good person... you can say no for whtever reason if you want to. It wasn't an emergency either.
if he didn't get 'rent a car' option and he or his family can't afford that I would definitely have gone out of the way. May be I myself would have used taxi for office tomorrow, but considering the arrogance and imposing behavior (which he depicted in past as well), I've to deal in this way. But again, I felt a little bad so asked for alternative ways to deal with such situation from people who gone through such situations.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
No...one need not be a doormat to be a good person... you can say no for whtever reason if you want to. It wasn't an emergency either.
Friend is one who can understand you... so if there is an emergency on ur side then you can tell him "Yaar ye masla hai so cant lend" then he will not mind it at all, this is the time for him to understand,if he dont, then you can show him his way back home...
but as Bhaiya told the timing of colony's gate, I would not consider it a problem...
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
Friend is one who can understand you... so if there is an emergency on ur side then you can tell him "Yaar ye masla hai so cant lend" then he will not mind it at all, this is the time for him to understand,if he dont, then you can show him his way back home...
but as Bhaiya told the timing of colony's gate, I would not consider it a problem...
No..my side doesn't have to be an emergency for me to say no...i may simply not feel like lending...
Re: Saying ‘No’ - Serious Advice needed
Pyare Bhaiya firstly dont take it as offence as I respect so much you one cant consider… but ahmm ahmm, I am sorry to say that ur “NO” made him rude, the problem was not of “NO”… it was ur excuse abt the gate timing ETC, seriously I wasnt expecting you will reply him in that straight sense…
aik dafa to mera bhi meter ghoom jata
This… why didnt u share this before ??
but here’s a point, agar koi aisa hai to us se kinara-kashi behtar hai, rather than hum bhi un jese buray banke un jesa salook karein… so aapko chahiyeey tha koi THos Excuse kerte takay wo baat kerne wala na rehta
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
if he didn't get 'rent a car' option and he or his family can't afford that I would definitely have gone out of the way. May be I myself would have used taxi for office tomorrow, but considering the arrogance and imposing behavior (which he depicted in past as well), I've to deal in this way. But again, I felt a little bad so asked for alternative ways to deal with such situation from people who gone through such situations.
You don't have to justify your behaviour.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
No..my side doesn't have to be an emergency for me to say no...i may simply not feel like lending...
That's ur point of view, but I thinks the other way...
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
Pyare Bhaiya firstly dont take it as offence as I respect so much you one cant consider... but ahmm ahmm, I am sorry to say that ur "NO" made him rude, the problem was not of "NO"... it was ur excuse abt the gate timing ETC, seriously I wasnt expecting you will reply him in that straight sense...
aik dafa to mera bhi meter ghoom jata
Agar as you said," mera bhi meter ghoom jata". Then wht kind of a friend are you? One requests to borrow,expecting either a positive or a negative reply,one doesn't demand to borrow.
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
if he didn't get 'rent a car' option and he or his family can't afford that I would definitely have gone out of the way. May be I myself would have used taxi for office tomorrow,
This is supremacy...
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
How do you people convey 'No' to friends, relatives, when they ask for a favor (say borrow something you don't want to give for any reasons) without offending them.
Some people take offense of 'No' in rudely manner and sometimes people have to go out of the way to give someone a favour.
Best way to taalna........ "erm.......ok I'll see what I can do to help. ....." ;)
Re: Saying 'No' - Serious Advice needed
That's ur point of view, but I thinks the other way...
Oh yes, everyone is entitled to their view. But don't look down at those who decide to stand up and say no rather than be pushed around into saying yes even if they don't want to.