Saving for the wedding

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Phooljari’s topic gave me an idea for this thread:

For those of you paying for your own wedding, when (if at all) did you start saving for this occasion?

For those whose parents paid for the wedding, when/if did your parents start saving?

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Re: Saving for the wedding

I had a very simple wedding, just like a muslim wedding should be we spend minimal. We spent the money on buying a house. Some ppl were not happy about few things in our shadi but we didn't get married to show-off, we got married for right reason(sorry if I sound too stuck up here).
Me and my husband don't think blowing up money on one/few days is a agood idea :) but that just us.

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Im paying for a lot of the extras I want like lighting, DJ, etc. I had some savings so I didnt have to start but I woud suggest to start at least 6 months before the wedding.

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"shaving for the wedding???" :?

lol, I think its tea time for me. brb

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Re: Saving for the wedding

^ where do you see hsavings/
or are shavings on ur mind these days :emmy:

:shawarma:

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Re: Saving for the wedding

i paid almost 60% for my wedding, i only could so has a result of putting it off for a few years, weddings aren’t cheap. :bummer:

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I have to say i'd be to eager to start my life with my husband that I wouldn't want to wait a few years to have a dream wedding, rather i'd compromise and make the best of my budget just so i can start that new chapter in my life. Maybe it's me but I've seen some longer engagements fall through, and i've also seen the stress of affording a wedding take a toll on couples.

My friend nishi got married to a guy who was picky about the china, decorations, what she wore, everything it was kinda gay. also he wanted an open bar and all this stuff and eventually she just told him he needs to realize her family isn't as well off as his and her father has other daughters to marry off and can't break the bank with her so if he wants certain extras he needs to pay for that. they weren't muslim but you know all desi weddings have days of events so i'm glad she told him how it was. They went on to have a lovely wedding.

One of my friends kept asking her husband to bring down his number of guests, he couldn't and said they were family. well the idiots decided to put the mendhi invitation on facebook so all the young ppl could see who was to attend and i pointed all these people i knew who were not related to her future husband's family and didn't come from our group so wth. In the end he was like oh well my siblings wanted their friends and blah blah. later on he paid for half the wedding and was generous to help out behind his mom's back for her wedding shopping in pakistan and such since her family wasn't that well off and it was nice to see him care to alleviate that burden on her and her family. I appreciated that kindness in him. ** At the same time they had regretted spending so much because they could have had a house by now and she keeps warning me if she could do it again she'd have a simpler wedding and just put a downpayment on a home.**

I have heard a few other brides say the same thing.

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Re: Saving for the wedding

i will pay for all the decor flowers favors cake and etc. parents are goign to pay fot he food and hall even though my parents want to absorb all the costs even for favors i dont think i would want them to bc i personally would not feel comfortabl with them spending so much $.... i dont have to save bc i have savings but heres wut ive been doing for the past yr or longer...i had an empty cookie tin can and cam eup with an idea to save a bi of cashe very week any loose change or single dollar bills or even big bills like $5,$10,$20 and would jut thorw it in the box whenever i could and kindda made it a weekely habit and now i dont even know how much it all is bc its a lot and ive made up my mind tht im goign to use evrything in tht box fot he weding decor last time is counted i actually surprised myself of how much it came out to be and it was no burden at all i just did it for the heck of it and ma so glad tht i did

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Re: Saving for the wedding

This is something which worries me. My parents are retired now and had to take early retirement due to certain reasons. I would feel guilty spending their money even though I know they are going to want to willingly when the time comes for marriage. That money is for them, they have worked hard for it. I am the eldest and have three other siblings. This is something which has concerned me even though I am only 21 and want to pay for my own wedding along with my siblings when the time comes. Thus far in our family, the costs of the wedding is filled by contributions by uncles and aunties. However, I do not expect this to be the case when the time comes, as evryone has their own children to think about these days.

A dream wedding is every girl’s dream and I am no different.

Maybe I should start putting some money aside already. I think a pound a week is achieveable for now :hmmm: and then inshallah more can go aside for wedding related stuff and a house etc, when I get a job.

So yeh I will start saving now:bummer:

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My parents sold assets in Pakistan to cover the expenses for my and my sister's wedding.

I wish now - that they would have saved it for their retirement.

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i know i cant accept the fact that my parents have no problem spending tht much money on my wedding. since i am the only daughter (have 2 bros) my parents want to have this big wedding and i want a mid size wedding bc i dont want them to spend so much $ so i am going to try to cut their cost as much as possible i'd rather have it for them to spend rather than throw it away on this huge wedding which would make me feel guilty of having with my parents spending so much...I think its easier for the person who is getting married to assist parents with some of the cost and live abroad but if the grl or the guy live in pakistan and are getting married it becomes so much harder for the couple to contribute to the wedding...just my opinion...

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My parents had a house in Pakistan that they sold and saved the money for our weddings. It was the only real asset they had.

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my parents bought me some land in lahore when i got married. my husband wants me to sell it now but i tell him that it's not worth that much to begin with and now the rupee is really devalued so i don't see the point of doing so. i intend to sell it in 20 years or so when it'll be time for my daughter's marriage, IA.

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Interesting replies, thanks folks!

so how about those who have kids now? have you thought about their weddings and hwo to pay for em? I'm assuming majority of hte parents here have young children but hearing from someone who has teenagers/young adults children would be nice too!

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very smart :)

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I didn't save anything when I was working.
But after my engagement (Nov. 2007) on friend's advice I did start stocking up on shoes, purses/handbags, & glass bangles. (three things I am crazy for)
Father & brother have divided the cost. Father had it since I don't know when. Brother started saving 6 months before the wedding.

My advice to future brides would be to start saving at least 24 months in advance or as soon as you fix the wedding date.
After fixing the date decide with parents or siblings about who is paying for what.
Start shopping at least 12 months in advance so you don't become over whelmed in the last 3 or 6 months.

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Re: Saving for the wedding

AH, my parents had enough on hand to pay for our wedding without resorting to loans/selling things. knowing that my parents were footing the entire bill, meant we searched for deals and bargains wherever we could, and we kept our guest list fairly small.
we paid for our honeymoon, which was the pricey part, relatively speaking- it cost almost half our wedding(!), but it was well worth it, so i consider it an investment in ourselves considering we probably won't be able to take another trip like that for many, many years.
if we had been paying for it by ourselves, we would have saved for about two years to have the kind of wedding we did.

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Since my Nikkah was so sudden and I wanted it big, I thought it would be unfair for me to have my parents pay for everything and spend all that money now in addition to the rukhsati later on as well. I had 5 months to save and I did as much as I could at that time. I also 'bargained' with Marriott since I worked with the company and got a wonderful deal with them, alhumdulillah which fitted my parents' budget perfectly. I paid for photographer, my dresses (not the bridal but the rest I wore for mehndi, 4 dholkis, post-nikkah events), bridal bouquet, makeup, hair and few things here and there. My parents paid for the hotel + whatever came with it, catering, groom's and inlaws' gifts, mehndi, dholkis, my airfare to miami, etc. My inlaws paid for the videographer along with my bridal clothes, jewelry and other stuff. I opted out a few stuff knowing it would be another $1000+ for my parents to pay (such as decor, centerpieces, lighting, dj, stage) and am going to have it all at my rukhsati inshallah. Luckily, my sister has amazing friends, one of them who offered to DJ (he's a professional and did it at no cost) and another friend who played the dhol during baraat arrival and later when everyone was dancing. It worked out great, alhumdulillah. What we expected to be a small event turned out to be big but in our budget at the end.
Now for my rukhsati, I am planning on paying for almost half the cost even though my parents have money saved up for it but in a few years they will be retiring and I would rather have them use that amount. The way I look at it is that if I can work and save up, why shouldn't I help them pay? Since this is a bit ahead, I can plan and save in advance. Instead of the 400-500 people my parents were going to invite, I have cut it down to 100-150 to make it more personal and special, and instead of the lavish rukhsati my parents want, I am now looking around for the best deals I can get so we can do it in moderation. And of course, I have the most amazing, out of this world, generous brother and sister who have also offered to help pay for my rukhsati =)
What alot of people don't realize is that there are sooo many small things involved in weddings that paying for them really adds to the budget.

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Re: Saving for the wedding

I'm paying for my own and have been saving for it for about the last 1.5 yrs...pretty much right after paying off my student loans.

Unfortunately, I've had to wait a long time to marry my fiance who I've been with for 3.5 yrs now...by the time we get married it will be 4.

People whose parents foot the bill are lucky in the sense that they can get married sooner at a much younger age...sigh...ahh well...not complaining...just wish I didn't have to wait so long to marry the love of my life.

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LOLL i thought we were gonna stick to waxing?