So far mine is being pretty sweet but when i hear stories from friends. If i was them i would have put that sass on fire.
Believe it or not end mein aurat hi aurat ka ghar tabah karti hai…
Do you think you would become on of those sass as well. Why the fudge they have a huge problem letting their son go. What pisses me off when i see my friend’s hubby acting like lalloo of nokar.
After shadi girls take so many dreams to her hubby’s house. If she finds in laws pain in the rear end she expects hubby to be there. But what if hubby does not even open his damn mouth in front of his mother. “mah bap ke samne uff tak nahe karte”. What do you do in this case? Zulm sehna sab se zeyada gunha gar hai.
Why would a guy talk back to his mother on behalf of his wife? That would make the mother think that her bahu turned her son against her. How would you react if tomorrow your son talks back to you, wouldn't you blame your daughter-in-law? I don't really know the situation, but we are only being told one side of the story. Let's hear how daughter-in-law behaves in front of her SASS.
Unless the mother in law was doing something really wrong like the ones in the Pakistani dramas, I would never talk back to her. In that case I would hope that my husband is someone who I can easily talk to.
Your a fool if you put yourself or your husband in the situation where he has to pick you or his mother, it's his mother for crying out loud, no one can ever compare to her or live up to her. As I say, don't mess with the mamas.
what kind of a guy would leave his mother who has been with him for so many years for some bijamalo who he met couple of months back? There is this hierarchy and mother shoudl and must always come before wife. If his sense of loyalty is so weak that he discards his mother who has painstakingly raised him since he was a baby then he’ll probably dump his wife too once he find another decent woman.
“After shadi girls take so many dreams to her hubby’s house”. Now if you’re coming to the hubby’s house with this “dream” of totally separating mother and son, then I think you have messed up expectations and “dreams”.
But then again this is just my opnion, which I’m sure is shared by majority of red-blooded & decent paki men who don’t cower infront of their wives.
Personally, I think the man needs to have his own darn mind and make his decisions on his own - its when the mom interferes and tries to steer decisions that ought to be between the man and wife. Afterall, when you marry you enter into another family setting. You now have two circles - your parents and siblings, and then your wife/kids. A true man knows how to keep both of them in balance.
And it certainly doesn’t help if either the wife or the saas (or both) have insane expectations of the said man. Wife needs to be respectful, but so does the saas. I dont think our culture proposes such a balanced view … as you can see from lussi’s typical desi logic, the saas comes first and then the wife. And that’s not fair to a woman, who mind you, is twisting her whole life around to adjust for her new husband. The only thing the hubby has to adjust to is an additional mouth to feel (meaning some extra cash flow) and sex at least once a week.
It's for the wife's own good that she adjusts and fits in with the new family quickly and smoothly, if not, more times than not she will end up the loser. This is the harsh reality, like it or not. It's not a big ask, in fact it should be something expected by all new wives.
Its very hard for a man to balance both relationships simultaneously. Mothers tend to hold onto their sons and wives seek shelter and protection from their husband if something arises and its a silent battle to some extent. A saas might say sumthni that a bahu wouldnt liek to hear or a bahu might say sumthin a saas wouldnt mind hearin it from her daughters. I think the ess interference a saas has in a bahu's life and a bahu might have in the saas's life is the key to makin it last. If a bahu is constently will wonder god why does he spend all his time there with them instead of with me, or if a saas might drops tanzia hints on the bahu how her son is well looked aafter, hell will be seen breakin soon here and there
i dont see why the son has to talk back to his mom? someone has a prob with their mother in law, shouldnt they solve it themselves instead of gettin him involved?
I think that newly married women should create as much fuss and tension in the house as possible ...beat the mother in law, put nasty things in her tea etc....get her before she gets you
but only when the husband is out!
I know this sounds harsh but so far the males in this thread have been Pro mother in law and i thought I'd balance the argument.
I guess this is why women should meet the whole family before getting married.
I don't see a marriage lasting any amount of time if neither the man or the woman doesn't stand up to the mothers. I don't allow my mother to step into my marriage and I don't expect my husband to allow his mother to do the same. I expect him to keep her in check, that is his job, not mine. It is his house and I am his wife, so it is my house, too. I will not allow my mother to run my house and he should not allow his mother to do the same. We are adults, so we should act as adults, not children. You can still do this and be perfectly nice and tactful.
I expect a strong man in my husband, not a wimp. Any man that allows his mother to run his house is a wimp. period.
Mother's should expect their son's to leave them for someone else. It's hard. I have a 17 yr old son and I am trying to remember he is a man now and going to be making his own home in the future. I trust his judgement in his choice. I am not marrying his woman, so my opinion is just that, an opinion. Once the choice is made, I should support him, not tear him down. Anything else and I am not being a good mother or role model.
I find it very funny when girls want their sass to treat them like their daughters and at the same time don't want her to 'interfere' or be ‘nosy’. Aren’t the two exactly opposite wishes? I am sure there are mothers out there who do not interfere in their daughter’s business but such cool ones are as scarce as cool daughters.
Anyway, it goes back to the way our culture brings up their daughters. Have you ever seen a man complaining that his wife is too attached to his parents or especially her mother? We don’t give a hoot if you call your mama every day, just don’t talk to us between the games please.
Ahmadjee, also remember, mom's of wives don't try to boss their son-in-laws around.
Afterall, there is a reason desi guys are phobic of becoming ghar-damaad. You see the conflict more with wives and their MIL's because the two of them sometimes have to share a roof, sometimes have to share one guy's income, sometimes have to share laundry detergents...
yes saas would always come first. A desi woman should understand that. If she loves her husband she should learn to love his mother too. That’s the problem with you kind of girls, you come in with this overly-possesive mindset. Learn to fit in.
