my cousin had a rishta from a guy who has the same first name as her (unisex name I guess)
family were like no no its ok just meet him. guy and his family were nice but the name thing still bothers her a lot, neither have a middle name and changing your first name is not easy and I don’t think either really want to. Would it be acceptable to ask them to consider it for their younger son as my cousin did like the family and they liked her to.
Re: Same name
so a guy is going to be rejected because of his first name? seriously?
doesnt sound like a decision of a mature woman ready for marriage.
as for the question: if the rejected man/family has been told the reason for rejection then marrying the younger bro in same family is just … awkward.
Re: Same name
interesting, you don’t think it would be very weird and confusing to have exactly the same first name as your husband?
i personally think it makes more sense to consider the one with the other name. Interested to hear what other people think though
Re: Same name
double post
Re: Same name
interesting, you don't think it would be very weird and confusing to have exactly the same first name as your husband?
i personally think it makes more sense to consider the one with the other name. Interested to hear what other people think though
why would it be weird or confusing?
think about it ... in a days conversation ... how many times does one actually need to use a spouses first name? .... plus most married couple desi and non- desi have nick names/pet names/shortened names for their spouse ....
personally ... i only use my husbands first name when im introducing him to someone new or when im seriously pissed.
Re: Same name
interesting, you don't think it would be very weird and confusing to have exactly the same first name as your husband?
i personally think it makes more sense to consider the one with the other name. Interested to hear what other people think though
So having the same name as the brother-in-law is ok?
Same name
But the guy has been introduced with the intention of getting to know the girl with the same name. Whats the big deal? Partners often adopt nicknames for eachother or just adress each other, it is a bit filmi and awks sayin hey sorry i cnt marry you as we have the same name but hey marry my sister
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Hmm I am surprised that people don't think it's strange.
It's not about them calling each other by name. I agree people can have pet names etc.
Imagine introducing yourself to people: 'Hi my name is Sabah and this is my husband Sabah'
Or when your families or friends are talking about you... which Sabah do you mean (male or female?)
In fact this happened at their meeting where someone said ' Do you want some tea Sabah?' and the female replied even though question was really addressed to the male one.
Yeah it's not the end of the world, I agree, but I do think it is going to be very odd to have the same name!
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Doesn't matter if they have same first name. If they get married and have kids then they'll just be called Abu (name) and Umm (name). Problem solved.
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I doubt it. Neithe rof them are willing to change their name. And from what I see of them they aren't the type that would like being called Abu X and Umme X. Anyway both are uncomfrtable about the name thing (not just the girl). It's only parents that think it might be ok.
Question is really... families have only had one get together to get to know each other at this stage and families are happy with each other..how acceptable would it be to suggest they consider it for the younger one instead.
I have known one situation where guy met the family and preferred the younger sister (who was in fact considered less attractive but he said she was more his 'type') and her family were fine with him marrying the younger one. But that's a guys family doing it. I don't know if that made a difference.
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^ you said both are uncomfortable about the name thing. how do you know? why wouldn't the guy say something to his family about it then and take the burden off your cousin?
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I know because he told my cousin it's an issue for him.
I'm not sure why he didn't say it to his parents. Maybe he did and like my cousins parents his parents were being pushy about meeting and then deciding.
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I think it would be awkward to be married to someone with the same name. Personally, I use my husband's name all the time. When addressing him and also when speaking of him to others. I see nothing wrong with considering the brother. People consider the girl's younger sister / cousin etc all the time. Why not the guy's brother?
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Look at the bright side
- They can sign FedEx slips for each other
- They can order one check book instead of 2 separate check books (savings $$$)
- They do not have to write "From A and B with best wishes" on give envelops that they will give. Only "From A with best wishes" will do (think about all the ink they will save and hence saving environment and world)
PS: Seriously? Family is nice, guy is nice and girl and her family is bothered by name of the guy? Jeezz. Go Islamic. Girl does not have to change the name. They will be called by father name on day of judgement anyway. Putting husband name as last name is western thingie anyway.
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At some point the jokes are going to get stale. Nobody wants to the punchline of a joke their entire life. If they're social people and consequently a social couple it'll be hella awkward to clarify again and again.
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Easiest solution, look for a rishta elsewhere. I can’t imagine being married to a guy’s brother after I was supposed to be marrying the guy. And honestly…that is such a petty issue. What’s in a name?
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A couple in my neighborhood had similar names , but not same .
Wife's name was Gul Naaz , and husband's name was Gul Nawaz . Hence to avoid confusion wife was called Gul , and husband was called Nawaz .
It would be awkward and funny for husband and wife to have same names .
In my university I met two sisters both were given same names. At home they were called as " Bari Shireen " and " Choti Shireen ".
In this case depends whether the rishta candidates themselves see it as a issue , or can take it lightly and let it be .
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Wow Pakistanis are always in reverse gear
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Ok I just need to clarify this....the guy has the same first name as the girl...that's the ONLY issue here? Other than this...there is NOTHING else that's objectionable about the guy? Looks, personality etc.....there is NOTHING else the girl has an objection to except his first name?
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Agree..
I’m also not keen on turning down one sibling for another.. Are the daughters and sons really ok with that or are their feelings not considered that important? Most people I know tend to get a little hurt when rejected anyway, would that not be magnified when rejected for your own sister or brother??