a modern guy not living with his parents for the past 5 years.He earns good money since he’s educated very well. His salary goes into the parents acount and they then give him a certain amount whichever he wants… no problem there for him at all…
what do u think will happen when he gets married?
married or not whould u do the same?
Re: salary to parents
your asking the wrong audience, no-one here is 10 and under.
Re: salary to parents
If he is the only son to parents, no problems at all.
If he has brothers and sisters, big problem after he gets married.
Re: salary to parents
Depends. I know some parents who saved every penny their children gave them and when it came time (like for a house or wedding etc) they spent it for them...
Then there are those who don't care about the wife...and want theirs no matter what
Re: salary to parents
orpheus i dont want to understand ur reply.
mustanamalik: he is not only child, but the eldest son living nearest to parents. his salary has been ging to them for atleast 5 years, i dont c y he just couldnt support them while his salary comes to him first. anyway that is their choice i guess.
would this be any different after marriage? do people change this system then...
Re: salary to parents
how rude.
Re: salary to parents
After marriage it mainly depends on his wife.....if she is OK with him to give salary to parents or not.
My Pupho's son used to give all earning to father and then his father gave him back for expenses.....his wife never complaint.. I saw his business expanded a lot in later years.... maybe due to the dua and respect of parents...
In todays world, I feel he should keep 25% with him in any case...
I think what Orphy meant was simply that it seems a grown man should be able to manage his own money. He is an adult and doesnt need his parents to give him an allowance anymore. Part of being an adult is being able to manage finances well.
While this may be okay when someone isnt married, it will cause problems when he gets married. The problems wont be because his wife is being unreasonable...she isnt. They will occur when the couple has to plan for things like a home, children, savings, retirement, etc. A single person who only has to worry about himself is not a big deal. But a family that depends on him will suffer because their needs will grow and no one likes to ask for money they are entitled to in the first place.
I think this guy needs to start getting his parents used to him managing his salary. It doesnt need to be where he is giving them money either. These days, you can get your salary deposited into two or three different accounts automatically. He can have a set amount that just goes into their account without them having to ask.
He needs to grow up.
Re: salary to parents
Things will change after marriage for sure. I think he should send money to his parents as per their requirements & keep rest with him so that after marriage the same system may continue.
It is good to be a good bachcha, but what mentioned above is also relevant & practical in todays time.
Re: salary to parents
You should ask him this question. Since, only from him you will get the true answer. Replies to this post are mere speculations.
I think what Orphy meant was simply that it seems a grown man should be able to manage his own money. He is an adult and doesnt need his parents to give him an allowance anymore. Part of being an adult is being able to manage finances well.
While this may be okay when someone isnt married, it will cause problems when he gets married. The problems wont be because his wife is being unreasonable...she isnt. They will occur when the couple has to plan for things like a home, children, savings, retirement, etc. A single person who only has to worry about himself is not a big deal. But a family that depends on him will suffer because their needs will grow and no one likes to ask for money they are entitled to in the first place.
I think this guy needs to start getting his parents used to him managing his salary. It doesnt need to be where he is giving them money either. These days, you can get your salary deposited into two or three different accounts automatically. He can have a set amount that just goes into their account without them having to ask.
He needs to grow up.
yep i agree with every word. i find it very strange that a grown man would give his entire salary to his parents and then be given a certain amount back from that... obviously he should provide for his parents and help them financially but the salary should go straight to him and then he can transfer a set amount to his parents each month rather than the other way around which just makes him look a little kid getting pocket money every month.
Re: salary to parents
My friend got married a year ago and is having this trouble with her husband. He used to give his mum all the money to save but recently started to give the money to his wife. His mother has got annoyed by this and treats my friend (her daughter in law) badly. My friend has told her husband to give the money back to his mum in order to tease tensions but it makes life difficult for her.
Re: salary to parents
Why would any mother or father want to keep their child's incomes after they're married?
What is the reasoning/rationale behind it?
Ive never been able to understand this.
Re: salary to parents
My question is that did his dad give all his money to his mom (i.e. this guy’s dadi?). Was his mom OK with it? How did it work out for them?
Personally, I think the guy should take care of his parents in the best of his ability. However, handing over an entire salary to your mommy and daddy at that age seems a bit weird and totally unnecessary. Just imagine a 30 year old man going to his mommy, “ammi ammi, meri biwi ko waxing kerwaani hai, aur munnay ki liye extra baby food leyna hai, please app $100 extra dey deyna is mahinay.” Sounds really really strange.
Unfortunately if he is already in the habit of doing that, I suggest he let his wife know before he ties the knot. 
Why would any mother or father want to keep their child's incomes after they're married?
What is the reasoning/rationale behind it?
Ive never been able to understand this.
Sense of entitlement because they paid for the education.
Why would any mother or father want to keep their child's incomes after they're married?
What is the reasoning/rationale behind it?
Ive never been able to understand this.
so, wife doesn't waste his hard earned money on shoes, bags, diamonds etc
Sense of entitlement because they paid for the education.
And? What next? They want his first born because they paid for their son's medical bills?
so, wife doesn't waste his hard earned money on shoes, bags, diamonds etc
Ummm...no. Do you realize what you just said is also true for your mother? And if your dadi did that to your mom, you would have a big issue watching your mother scrounge and ASK for money to do basic things like get a haircut or buy herself a candy bar. Is that fair? No. After marriage, your independance is everything...there is NO room in my opinion for a third party to butt in and tell anyone what to do and how to do it. No room at all.
What if your wife started seeing your parents as a waste of money too? It goes both ways.
yep i agree with every word. i find it very strange that a grown man would give his entire salary to his parents and then be given a certain amount back from that... obviously he should provide for his parents and help them financially but the salary should go straight to him and then he can transfer a set amount to his parents each month rather than the other way around which just makes him look a little kid getting pocket money every month.
That's exactly what i think! It seems silly and i'm sure the man would want to be a man by handling his own finances! This seems very childlike and as if the parent still want to control everything? or to feel in charge?
I completely agree with the above.
I haven’t given my salary to my parents ever since I moved out after college. My SO doesn’t give his salary to his parents either. He asks his dad for financial advice…but he has total control over his own money.
Besides, how will the guy and his wife teach their kids how to manage money if he keeps giving his full salary to his parents? What if something happens to the parents…what if one or both of the parents die all of a sudden? If the guy isn’t used to handling finances, it’ll be a disaster when all of a sudden he has to manage his own money when his parents die…no? What if there are siblings who do the same…is he 100% sure that his money is kept separately?
It seems ridiculous to me that a grown man (especially one with a wife and kids) has to ask his own parents for an “allowance”…
he sounds like a good catch. very respectful of elders.
jk jk run while you can or you'll become naukrani of your sasural, 1970s hindi movie style.