Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

[Deeba1234]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@homesick

I will not be comparing everything in the U.S** if I were to move there. I know for sure I would have a bigger house instead of the tiny apartment in NY,** and i would own, wont’ have to worry about rent. I know some people in Pakistan who have small businesses and doing ok, but their lifestyles are those of millionaires here. I know there are challenges like electricity, crime etc. but are we to live here permanently? Are my generations to grow here like the Irish and Italian? Don’t these thoughts worry you? Anyway, all i can say that the time I spent in Pakistan is the only time I have been carefree and at home. I can live here and have the A.C and the heat, and the health insurance and the car, but no fulfillment, no purpose, no sense of apna pun. Have you attended high school here? I have..and if you are not dating and becoming sexual, you feel like you are abnormal..don’t want it for my daughter. I don’t think you would feel abnormal or different if you are not dating or attending prom. As for Islamic schools, I know someone who works there, it usually the kids who failed in public school that they are sent to Islamic school-not all- but many are like this and they do date and do everything you will find in public school. So these reasons are petty. You live only once. Allah will ask us if we had no other choice but to live in an 99% kafir country. But thank you for your advice. Everyone has their opinion and I am open to everyone’s advice/opinions etc.

You could get a large house in many parts of the US for the price of a small apartment in NY..

[khattichic]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

Exactly. Try moving to somewhere like Dallas or Houston, you’ll not only be able to afford a large house but can also send your kids to a top private Islamic school if you choose. Your quality of life will be drastically different in various parts of the country.

[X2]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

move to gujranwala and all of your expectations will be met.
wish you all the best, do stop by to update us on the transition.
god speed.

[COLD_FIRE]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

I see a few hostile messages. Feel bad for homesick. His felony was asking advice here. But some of the members would have been good not showing up at all.

[Demilitarize]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

as far as your search for apna-pan goes, I totally understand what you mean. Whatever Pakistan is like, there is no other place in the world where a Pakistani can truly feel “at home”. Least a Pakistani like you it seems. Islamabad is a brilliant option. The kids are young, if you can secure a good job then there is nothing like it. There is a comfort in being surrounded by your “own people”. However corrupt or whatever they may be. And while you can look for decent upbringing situations in America/UK/West, you can do the same in Pakistan too (here I am not saying that Pakistan doesn’t have its vices ie gf/bf situations) but culturally it is still closer to what I sense you feel you want and need.

Yes I do believe your life/further generations would get lost in the patchwork of the West, like the irish and italians. Your kids are young. If you can secure a good job, schooling is great here and if your kids do well enough you can reconsider university options when the time comes abroad, or they can.

IF you can secure a good job, and IF you live in Lahore or Isb, then I think you won’t regret the move at all. If your wife is from here, she would feel better too.

Apna mulk apna mulk hota hay

[X2]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

cold fire, no hostility, I am just being supportive.

[Monk]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@X2

move to gujranwala and all of your expectations will be met.
wish you all the best, do stop by to update us on the transition.
god speed.

Dude its not a bad place to live.

Jitny sary karachi meen vegetation hy na jujranwala me utni one squire mile me mil jaey gi.
Jitny sary karachi me zaiqa(taste) hy na gujranwala meen meen woh ek street me mil jaey ga
Jitny sary karachi meen husan hy na(if there is any) woh gujranwala meen 4 larkion ky braber naheen..
dude duneya meen sab sy saaf peny ka pani wahan hy.

Above all my mom was from there
show some respect.

[X2]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

habshi whaaa?
I am being supportive because its fairly evident the OP is asking more for validation than advise
so I am giving validation and support.
as far as karachi goes, I have not been there since jan 99, thats how much it means to me.

[Reha]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@homesick

Salaam. I am new to this forum and just wanted to ask people’s opinions/experiences about this strong desire I have had over the last couple of years to move to Pakistan. I came to the U.S at the age of 8-9 and had a hard time adjusting initially. I adjusted well and after 9/11 in college, I had a period of reanalyzing my identity. I got married in Pakistan and have made 3 trips there in the last few years. What I observed was that, given you have a descent income, people are more relaxed and live more in Pakistan. Here in the U.S there is this atmosphere of stress. No one is happy. Everyone is stressed and life seems very mechanical. There is just atmosphere of coldness-no apna pun- no identity-.You just work and pay the bills, and work and pay the bills and the cycle continues. I feel more and more like a stranger and fear spending the rest of my life in this aimless cycle. Mind you all of my family is here, including uncles/aunts and their kids. However, I fear my kids losing their identities and not wanting to have anything to do with Pakistan. I want them to experience a Muslim majority country. I know Pakistan is corrupt, but still muslim majority and you get to be a 1st class citizen. What I wanted to ask was, does anyone know families who have moved back permanently, and if so, how was their experience? Do you recommend it? I can’t see myself getting old here living this meaningless existence. That is my biggest fear Do others feel this way? I think about it all the time. I have a descent job, so that’s not the issue. People here are fake, and there are no true friendships. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Should we live here permanently? Please share you thoughts/advice/experiences

Do you have friends and family here? Are you on good terms with them? Do you actively try to be a part of the Muslim community and do your best to lead by example? Simply taking your kids to Pakistan doesn’t mean you’ve done your job. Doesn’t matter where you live…its YOUR job to bring culture and faith to your family. I was born and bred in the US, don’t remember ever feeling like an idiot for not having a boyfriend, don’t remember having no feelings of apna-pun because my parents gave me a solid support system. The issue is not your location. I don’t think you’re happy with your life…maybe you need a change.

@homesick

I will not be comparing everything in the U.S if I were to move there. I know for sure I would have a bigger house instead of the tiny apartment in NY, and i would own, wont’ have to worry about rent. I know some people in Pakistan who have small businesses and doing ok, but their lifestyles are those of millionaires here. I know there are challenges like electricity, crime etc. but are we to live here permanently? Are my generations to grow here like the Irish and Italian? Don’t these thoughts worry you? Anyway, all i can say that the time I spent in Pakistan is the only time I have been carefree and at home. I can live here and have the A.C and the heat, and the health insurance and the car, but no fulfillment, no purpose, no sense of apna pun. Have you attended high school here? I have..and if you are not dating and becoming sexual, you feel like you are abnormal..don’t want it for my daughter. I don’t think you would feel abnormal or different if you are not dating or attending prom. As for Islamic schools, I know someone who works there, it usually the kids who failed in public school that they are sent to Islamic school-not all- but many are like this and they do date and do everything you will find in public school. So these reasons are petty. You live only once. Allah will ask us if we had no other choice but to live in an 99% kafir country. But thank you for your advice. Everyone has their opinion and I am open to everyone’s advice/opinions etc.

I went to public high school and then switched to Islamic school because my parents preferred it. I didn’t fail or flunk…went to college/uni and now own a small business. As far as living in a kafir country versus Muslim…well…that depends upon what you consider Islamic. I don’t think I’d ever be able to live in Pakistan. I grew up with a strong sense of identity and had no confusion about who I was. I was first Muslim. My parents made it a HUGE point to actually be parents…simply dropping us off at the masjid was not enough.

[NomiCA]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

bechaara!!

[Naabigh]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

The problem is , he has made few trips to Pakistan and all of his expectations and calculations are based on those short trips

c’mon mate - when you visit Pakistan - you get treated like a prince and the whole world revolves around you - go there and live at least for a year then you will know what fat lady sings

[COLD_FIRE]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@X2

cold fire, no hostility, I am just being supportive.

Actually u were not the bearer of my remark. Chill.

[Umer]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

If you are really committed to moving back to Pakistan and your choices are Islamabad or Gujranwala, you should definitely go for Islamabad.

Most MNC have their country HQ there so finding a decent job will be less hard than in Gurjanwala. I’m using the term “less hard” instead of “easier” on purpose. It’s generally a quite cosmopolitan city and in terms of education for your kids you do have pretty good options in the capital. On the other hand it’s a relatively boring place compared to bustling cities like Lahore or Gujranwala.

[firenze]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@Huma

Islamabad is definitely much more stable and prosperous. I would say go for it if you can get a good job. Your eldest is just 2 so college education is not a concern for now. Living there for a few years will help your kids learn about their roots. And younger kids adjust to changes far more quickly than older kids. I had lived in 3 completely different cultures and I was fluent in 3 different languages by the time I was 11. We relocated once again in the middle of secondary school, when I was 15, and I hated it.

You need to spend few days in Lahore & Faisalabad then. Night life, economical stability & security far out pace the capital.

[firenze]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@X2

move to gujranwala and all of your expectations will be met.
wish you all the best, do stop by to update us on the transition.
god speed.

at least desi food porn fantasy will be fulfilled to fullest, that’s for sure !

[homesick]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

I don’t understand why some people are getting upset at me. I know we have all become dollar chasers here and it is difficult to get out of that cycle. I don’t understand why some people are becoming aggressive. Maybe it due to the fact that its a sensitive issue for many. I wish I was like some of you guys who are completely satisfied with being where you are; but for me, something inside me tells me that this can’t be it. This can’t be the rest of my life. I can’t just be chasing the almighty dollar all my life. These were my thoughts that I wanted to share and and ask if others experienced these emotions/fears. With everything else going in the world, we are going to be asked more and more to keep our mouths shut and compromise our deen in the west. I asked a couple of sheiks if we can stay here indefinitely, and the answer I got from all of them was a no. They said that you are partially responsible if your decedents become kafir down the line. I know at least two Pakistani guys who have become atheists due to college/philosophy. And don’t tell me we are not compromising the deen everyday. Whether its the missed namaz, or no namaz, or no namaz in jammat in years. Or the apologetic hey “I am a good liberal Muslim” not one of those other religious muslims with beards smirk some of us have to carry around. I can go on and on. We are in denial and the mighty dollar takes precedence, the rest are just excuses. I appreciate everyone’s opinions, however; but please if you don’t have something to contribute, don’t just act like a cyber-bully. What’s so wrong with Gujranwala? It is a good conservative city where women cover and family values are intact. Not good to make fun of any city. I appreciate the advice given by some of you. If someone has more insight/opinions/ experience..please share

[X2]

Cold fire- I’m chillin already

[pakistanimard]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@homesick

I don’t understand why some people are getting upset at me.

Dear brother..

People are getting upset because they live in the west, fully content. When you say the lifestyle isn’t what you want, you are basically saying all those people are wrong/guilty or whatever. So they think you are dissing them n stuff…

[Sehrysh]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@homesick

I don’t understand why some people are getting upset at me. I know we have all become dollar chasers here and it is difficult to get out of that cycle. I don’t understand why some people are becoming aggressive. Maybe it due to the fact that its a sensitive issue for many. I wish I was like some of you guys who are completely satisfied with being where you are; but for me, something inside me tells me that this can’t be it. This can’t be the rest of my life. I can’t just be chasing the almighty dollar all my life. These were my thoughts that I wanted to share and and ask if others experienced these emotions/fears. With everything else going in the world, we are going to be asked more and more to keep our mouths shut and compromise our deen in the west. I asked a couple of sheiks if we can stay here indefinitely, and the answer I got from all of them was a no. They said that you are partially responsible if your decedents become kafir down the line. I know at least two Pakistani guys who have become atheists due to college/philosophy. And don’t tell me we are not compromising the deen everyday. Whether its the missed namaz, or no namaz, or no namaz in jammat in years. Or the apologetic hey “I am a good liberal Muslim” not one of those other religious muslims with beards smirk some of us have to carry around. I can go on and on. We are in denial and the mighty dollar takes precedence, the rest are just excuses. I appreciate everyone’s opinions, however; but please if you don’t have something to contribute, don’t just act like a cyber-bully. What’s so wrong with Gujranwala? It is a good conservative city where women cover and family values are intact. Not good to make fun of any city. I appreciate the advice given by some of you. If someone has more insight/opinions/ experience..please share

It’s not being upset, rather we’re challenging your idea that living in Pakistan is the solution to the problems you’ve described.

*Jahan tak *you talk about apna-pan, sure living in Pakistan you will be part of a community of Urdu/Punjabi/Sindhi/Seraiki/Pashto speakers who wear shalwar kameez and are in majority Muslim.

But the temptations you’re trying to save your children from - losing their language, wearing jeans and T or other revealing clothes, dating, drinking, losing their religion, etc. - the possibility to stray exists in Pakistan as well as here.

College/University mein larki/larka West mein bhi ishq laraatein hai aur Pakistani mein bhi. Clubs, dancing, drinking - it happens everywhere. So don’t be oblivious to the tempations, deal with it.

Preserving one’s faith and way of living is a choice. I’ve made it living here and you and your children will have to make it there.

Oh and as far as living in the West making us “dollar-chasers” that’s quite a harsh accusation. Financial stability isn’t something to be mocked, not when in Pakistan bijli, petrol aur insaniyat keh mohtaaj hain log. *Jo insaan subah jo nikal tha hai, kya woh khairiyat se apnay ghar shaam ko pohunche ga, usse yeh tak nahin maaloom. *Don’t underestimate the desire for personal security.

Good luck with the move.

[khattichic]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

^ What she said