Salaam. I am new to this forum and just wanted to ask people’s opinions/experiences about this strong desire I have had over the last couple of years to move to Pakistan. I came to the U.S at the age of 8-9 and had a hard time adjusting initially. I adjusted well and after 9/11 in college, I had a period of reanalyzing my identity. I got married in Pakistan and have made 3 trips there in the last few years. What I observed was that, given you have a descent income, people are more relaxed and live more in Pakistan. Here in the U.S there is this atmosphere of stress. No one is happy. Everyone is stressed and life seems very mechanical. There is just atmosphere of coldness-no apna pun- no identity-.You just work and pay the bills, and work and pay the bills and the cycle continues. I feel more and more like a stranger and fear spending the rest of my life in this aimless cycle. Mind you all of my family is here, including uncles/aunts and their kids. However, I fear my kids losing their identities and not wanting to have anything to do with Pakistan. I want them to experience a Muslim majority country. I know Pakistan is corrupt, but still muslim majority and you get to be a 1st class citizen. What I wanted to ask was, does anyone know families who have moved back permanently, and if so, how was their experience? Do you recommend it? I can’t see myself getting old here living this meaningless existence. That is my biggest fear Do others feel this way? I think about it all the time. I have a descent job, so that’s not the issue. People here are fake, and there are no true friendships. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Should we live here permanently? Please share you thoughts/advice/experiences
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
You have to questions/issues.
What is hitting you in amreeka.
What pakistan would be like.
For first one you need to read "days of destruction /days of revolt " ASAP
Seconds one,
Every one is unique, here at GS most people have parked their butts in west and are very comfortable about it. So you cant really get the info you are looking for.
So every one is unique, Ok, I have this friend very smart dude, born in west, we all thought he was going to be big shot here in west, his wife dumped him. No one could believe it!!
Dude was in pain so he went to pak, he is now big shot there married and millionaire. In his case sadness from west kept him in pakistan.
Then there are people who go to pak and compare every thing with what they have in west, they eventually come back.
I suggest you go there to live, see how it goes.
BTW on happy nation index pakistan at 16th way above amreeka, and amreeka is going to go much lower on that index 
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
I think the whole “life here is so drab and stressful” just really depends on your own unique circumstances. People like to make it out as if the country itself is bad…but it’s not. It’s all about your perspective.
I know people (Muslim/Pakistani, very in touch with their roots) who love living in canada and don’t feel the way you do. and then there are those who feel exactly the same as you do.
I love living in USA and while I enjoy my trips to Pak I’d never ewant to live there for my life. Doesnj’t make me any less Muslim or Pakistani than you or anyone else.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
The vast majority of people I know who moved from the West to Pakistan ended up coming back to the West. Not necessarily back to the same country, but they could not adjust to life in Pakistan.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
I will not be comparing everything in the U.S if I were to move there. I know for sure I would have a bigger house instead of the tiny apartment in NY, and i would own, wont’ have to worry about rent. I know some people in Pakistan who have small businesses and doing ok, but their lifestyles are those of millionaires here. I know there are challenges like electricity, crime etc. but are we to live here permanently? Are my generations to grow here like the Irish and Italian? Don’t these thoughts worry you? Anyway, all i can say that the time I spent in Pakistan is the only time I have been carefree and at home. I can live here and have the A.C and the heat, and the health insurance and the car, but no fulfillment, no purpose, no sense of apna pun. Have you attended high school here? I have..and if you are not dating and becoming sexual, you feel like you are abnormal..don’t want it for my daughter. I don’t think you would feel abnormal or different if you are not dating or attending prom. As for Islamic schools, I know someone who works there, it usually the kids who failed in public school that they are sent to Islamic school-not all- but many are like this and they do date and do everything you will find in public school. So these reasons are petty. You live only once. Allah will ask us if we had no other choice but to live in an 99% kafir country. But thank you for your advice. Everyone has their opinion and I am open to everyone’s advice/opinions etc.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
You seem to have your mind made up already and looks like you really hate living in the States and your experience has been pretty bad. Good luck with the move!
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
And of course they don’t drink and date and do other inappropriate or sinful things in Pakistan 
Home, is where you choose it to be. How religious you are is again a personal choice.
The sense of apna-pun you are referring to is a desire for cultural belongingness - which is a choice you are wholly entitled to make. But the Islamic Republic of Pakistan is Islamic in name only, not in deed.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
I feel exactly like you but that’s because I live in a country where there aren’t as many Pakistanis/Muslims as there are in the US/UK. If I was in the US/UK, I’d probably be content because at least I wouldn’t be spending Eid on my own, I’d have someone to invite over, some place to go to, and some gulab jamun to eat! 
Can’t even get proper mithayi here, that’s just torture!! In the US/UK, you have so many facilities for Muslims e.g. Islamic institutes, Quranic schools, Masjids etc. Your kids shouldn’t feel alienated because there’s such a large desi/Muslim community in the US… unlike here, where your kid will probably be the only brown kid in the whole school and would be more at risk of giving into peer pressure here.
That said, I have not thought about moving to Pakistan permanently. I’d love to spend a few years there but the Pakistani society isn’t very Islamic, in my opinion. Your kids will be exposed to the same things in Pakistan that you fear they’ll be exposed to in the US. Obviously not to the same extent, and it would also depend on the company they keep, but these things do happen. For me, the deal-breaker is the quality of education in Pakistan, particularly college education. If I have the opportunity of educating my kids in a place like Oxford, I wouldn’t make them attend a college in Lahore just for the sake of living in a Muslim country. I’m not saying people who got their education from Pakistan are not as good as people who studied abroad but you just cannot compare the Punjab University with Oxford, can you? And who doesn’t want the best for their kids.
I’d rather move to the Gulf region so that aside from living in a Muslim majority country, my family will have access to the amenities that developed countries have to offer BUT I’d most likely be sending my kids off to some college in Europe because (a) the quality of education is far better in this part of the world and (b) I would like my kids to travel and be exposed to different cultures like I was… it really broadens the mind and makes you an educated global citizen.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
this is not the place to ask such questions. you should go away ASAP.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Dude pak or amreeka…
First you need to put your self on GS shrink couch.
I noticed few things which have nothing to do with either country,
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Have you found a job in Pakistan? Which city are you gonna move to? Avoid Karachi, this place gets worse everyday. Don’t know much about any other cities, but Karachi sucks right now.
It seems you have kids. Do they wanna move to Pakistan? They’ll hate you for moving to Pakistan. Kids at school will think they’re crazy for leaving the States. Not Abnormal, crazy.
Your kids will go back to the US eventually and then you’ll be left alone.
Is your spouse okay with this plan? Have you asked him/her?
Then there’s you not knowing anything about Pakistan, cause you left when you were just a kid. Pakistan won’t be easy for you, at least in the beginning. Getting something as simple as a driver’s licence is a mission in itself. So you can guess how hard everything else is going to be.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
If that’s your opinion then why don’t you point out specifically what you are referring to. Maybe that’s why I posed the question, because I am looking for clarity. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here would I? Yes I have 2 kids…eldest is 2. My is wife is ok with it since she is from there. The questions you posed about kids and their education are of course important. Hence the dilemma. I haven’t heard too many good things about middle east either. The racism by the rich arabs and treating you like a slave. Even if I were to go there, I would only be there as long as I am employed and have a visa. So sooner or later, I will have to leave. It’s not home either. It would be Islamabad or Gujranwala for me. Definitely not Karachi.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
usually our resident shrink reha do this.
She is good,
and affordable, she only charged me chiller 
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Thing is I doubt allah will punish you for living in non-Muslim country,
your kid worry is very genuine, and being a guy I do understand where you coming from.
Dude here is the thing, you need to able to love your kids NO MATTER what!!
See you teach them islam real good, that is your job. You will be questioned about it!!
Now I My self have seen that practical reason of not fooling around before marriage. And I appreciate this rule very much.
I will teach my children islam, plus a good argument why they should keep to them selves.
Now pak or US they could make mistakes. You should be able to deal with it, rather then having a heart attack.
And after knowing it all, if kid chose to adopt a sinful life style then, you have to know you go to your grave and kid need to answer
her/him self for what he/she chose.
Nothing more to that.
But you better be able to love them still!!! How could you not 
I learn this principle from a guppen, it gave me so much peace. I wont tell her name. No one expect her to say some thing deep.. ever
haha
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Islamabad is definitely much more stable and prosperous. I would say go for it if you can get a good job. Your eldest is just 2 so college education is not a concern for now. Living there for a few years will help your kids learn about their roots. And younger kids adjust to changes far more quickly than older kids. I had lived in 3 completely different cultures and I was fluent in 3 different languages by the time I was 11. We relocated once again in the middle of secondary school, when I was 15, and I hated it.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Oh and before moving to pak, get your vaccinations done.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
Dude I don’t know if you have kids, especially a girl. It makes you paranoid. I have seen things. Hijabi girls and girls from good families. I been around the block before becoming mature enough.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
By all means you have option to go pak.
The thing I said took long time to sink in my head, I don’t expect you to agree with me right away or agree with me at all.
But think about it over time.
Any ways, other thing is you can always work on disengaging from cooperate designed life style while living in US.
I personally would love you to see in pakistan and become a success story.
If you go to pak, read about green roofs, its easy to get such stuff done there. Plant lots of tree.
Have your own solar panel. And life would be all good.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
So there are goods and bads with every country. If you think just living in Pakistan is going to make you and your children a good muslim, its a wrong assumption. To get basic amenities and legal necessities in Pakistan, you will most likely have to bribe someone … down the drain goes your desire to become a better muslim. As people have already mentioned, pakistan is an islamic state only by name, not by action.
Saying that life in west is without purpose is just plain wrong. Man makes his own purpose. Why dont you show americans the true face of islam by acting upon islamic principals and still being within the bounds of US laws. Americans have a very low opinion of muslims and its only going to get worse if muslims who live in USA dont show them the true face of islam.
You feel lonely living in USA. Have you really tried to connect with the people around you? Do you help people around you when they are in need. Not everyone living in USA hate you, and I feel really sorry if you consider yourself a third class citizen.
Yes, there are challenges living in USA, but with proper training I am sure it can be achieved. I’ll tell you a personal story, My uncle moved to USA in 70’s and mosque was quite far from his house. Every sunday he would take his kids to mosque for islamic studies and sometimes mosque would be closed because the teacher was unavailable. My uncle would spend 2 hours (thats how long the class was), sitting on the stairs of mosque with his kids even if mosque was closed. By doing this, his kids developed a personal connection with mosque.
Entire world is made by Allah for the benefits of his creatures. Now its upto you to reap the benefits or pickup on wrong habbits of the West.
Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan
And here we go. You had your fun, and now that you have a daughter you suddenly realize there are boys like you. I don’t know if you realize this, but your post can be offensive to majority of girls born and raised in a non-Muslim country. There are lots of men on this board who have daughters, and are doing a great job raising them, if that makes any difference to you. Maybe you should be asking them advice?