Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

[Reha]

Re: Salaam need advice about moving back to pakistan

@homesick

Salaam. I am new to this forum and just wanted to ask people’s opinions/experiences about this strong desire I have had over the last couple of years to move to Pakistan. I came to the U.S at the age of 8-9 and had a hard time adjusting initially. I adjusted well and after 9/11 in college, I had a period of reanalyzing my identity. I got married in Pakistan and have made 3 trips there in the last few years. What I observed was that, given you have a descent income, people are more relaxed and live more in Pakistan. Here in the U.S there is this atmosphere of stress. No one is happy. Everyone is stressed and life seems very mechanical. There is just atmosphere of coldness-no apna pun- no identity-.You just work and pay the bills, and work and pay the bills and the cycle continues. I feel more and more like a stranger and fear spending the rest of my life in this aimless cycle. Mind you all of my family is here, including uncles/aunts and their kids. However, I fear my kids losing their identities and not wanting to have anything to do with Pakistan. I want them to experience a Muslim majority country. I know Pakistan is corrupt, but still muslim majority and you get to be a 1st class citizen. What I wanted to ask was, does anyone know families who have moved back permanently, and if so, how was their experience? Do you recommend it? I can’t see myself getting old here living this meaningless existence. That is my biggest fear Do others feel this way? I think about it all the time. I have a descent job, so that’s not the issue. People here are fake, and there are no true friendships. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Should we live here permanently? Please share you thoughts/advice/experiences

Do you have friends and family here? Are you on good terms with them? Do you actively try to be a part of the Muslim community and do your best to lead by example? Simply taking your kids to Pakistan doesn’t mean you’ve done your job. Doesn’t matter where you live…its YOUR job to bring culture and faith to your family. I was born and bred in the US, don’t remember ever feeling like an idiot for not having a boyfriend, don’t remember having no feelings of apna-pun because my parents gave me a solid support system. The issue is not your location. I don’t think you’re happy with your life…maybe you need a change.

@homesick

I will not be comparing everything in the U.S if I were to move there. I know for sure I would have a bigger house instead of the tiny apartment in NY, and i would own, wont’ have to worry about rent. I know some people in Pakistan who have small businesses and doing ok, but their lifestyles are those of millionaires here. I know there are challenges like electricity, crime etc. but are we to live here permanently? Are my generations to grow here like the Irish and Italian? Don’t these thoughts worry you? Anyway, all i can say that the time I spent in Pakistan is the only time I have been carefree and at home. I can live here and have the A.C and the heat, and the health insurance and the car, but no fulfillment, no purpose, no sense of apna pun. Have you attended high school here? I have..and if you are not dating and becoming sexual, you feel like you are abnormal..don’t want it for my daughter. I don’t think you would feel abnormal or different if you are not dating or attending prom. As for Islamic schools, I know someone who works there, it usually the kids who failed in public school that they are sent to Islamic school-not all- but many are like this and they do date and do everything you will find in public school. So these reasons are petty. You live only once. Allah will ask us if we had no other choice but to live in an 99% kafir country. But thank you for your advice. Everyone has their opinion and I am open to everyone’s advice/opinions etc.

I went to public high school and then switched to Islamic school because my parents preferred it. I didn’t fail or flunk…went to college/uni and now own a small business. As far as living in a kafir country versus Muslim…well…that depends upon what you consider Islamic. I don’t think I’d ever be able to live in Pakistan. I grew up with a strong sense of identity and had no confusion about who I was. I was first Muslim. My parents made it a HUGE point to actually be parents…simply dropping us off at the masjid was not enough.