Re: Saddle up your high horses, Here comes Trouble
Just like you choose to generalize based on the select few you’ve interacted with, I will also generalize based on the many that I interact with, and have interacted with.
First your point of not blinking an eye when hearing about divorced. I am not exactly sure what kind of society level you belong to (upper, middle, lower etc), but where I come from, divorce was and still continues to be a very big issue, and not to be taken lightly. Any mention of it will garner a gasp, questioning, and numerous what ifs to be able to not come to that step. Let alone a discussion of a broken engagement or a rishta broken. These are not taken lightly where I come from, and I straddle two different societies (East and West).
As for the issue that you’ve raised, yes, pre-marital affairs (and by this i mean sexual relations) do exist in Pakistan, and outside of Pakistan among Pakistanis. But these instances are maybe 1 in a 100 people, if not more. That doesn’t mean it’s sooooo common that you come to accept it. It’s not common, and it’s not right either. Anyone indulging in such activities should consider it wrong, and anyone hearing about this should consider it wrong, and where I come from, it is considered wrong. But it is under no circumstances accepted, and anyone saying such a thing isn’t riding on their high horse or is overly moralistic. What is wrong is wrong. There are many couples in my own particular family and friend’s circle that have chosen to marry of their own accord. They have chosen their own partners, went through the proper channels, and then gotten married. But I can say with full confidence that beyond meeting in public with friends, nothing more has happened with them. And that is the norm. And yes, even now, even though the number of “love marriages” is increasing, the news of such a couple is still reacted with trepidation. Are we being overly prudish? No. We are being culturally relevant. But in the end, we do say, let’s pray that they live a happy married life.
And I hate to bring up this point, but since you chose to mention your other thread in this thread, why in the world is your friend discussing such sensitive issue with you. What goes on between couples is not a matter of public discussion. My closest friend has yet to mention any intimate details of what she has done with her then fiance and now her husband, and we have discussed with each other in detail things about us to each other. No one in the world, not even men discuss how many times a day they’ve been boinking their significant other and how unsatisfied they might be. I am not being holier than thou, though you can choose to interpret my post that way, but what is right should be considered right and not waved off as being too “better than you”.
In conclusion, no it isn’t happening everrrrrrrrrrrywhere. It isn’t common. You need to change your company.