Why ladies get this dua (or it is considered as dua) in our cultures?
Why men don’t get such dua that you go before your wife indirectly?
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Suhaag… is sign of protection, security and real home of wife… 
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
daqyanoosi khayalaat?
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
You know what? This saying is deen se doori.. poocho kaise?
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Why shouldn’t new bride get Sada Suhagan blessings…
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
because in our society widow has no life and getting married for second time by a widow still considered taboo. therefore, this saying 'Sada Suhagan raho' is still considered a dua.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Jao baiti, sada suhagan raho aur ab tumhaari arthi hi tumhaaray susraal say uThay.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
because in our society widow has no life and getting married for second time by a widow still considered taboo. therefore, this saying 'Sada Suhagan raho' is still considered a dua.
Is it a bad thing?
You are reading too deep into the dark, bleak and sinister connotations attached with the saying, and relying too much on the burden of history. In actual fact, wishing someone a long and happy matrimonial life would be considered a very positive comment in all societies and cultures. People who are happily married and cannot fathom the thought of ever living with their partner will definitely take this expression as a dua, and perhaps ask for more of it.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
women usually live longer than men. since women are dependent on men financially, protectively and last but not the least emotionally. if man dies before the wife then she will have a hard time in the matters mentioned above. very few consider emotional dependency as a valid reason but i do. an old lady, mother of grownups have no shoulders to lean her head on. no one other than her husband can understands her and her emotional status.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Is it a bad thing?
You are reading too deep into the dark, bleak and sinister connotations attached with the saying, and relying too much on the burden of history. In actual fact, wishing someone a long and happy matrimonial life would be considered a very positive comment in all societies and cultures. People who are happily married and cannot fathom the thought of ever living with their partner will definitely take this expression as a dua, and perhaps ask for more of it.
If not why it is not given to male? He also got right to pass longer time with the partner and he might be affected due to death of spouse i same way (emotionally and psychologically) like the ladies. no?
sada suhagan raho, doesn't refer to long matrimonial life. You can see desi ladies wishing their deaths before husbands. Sartaaj aap ki aai mujhe aae type things.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
I am glad we are having a discussion on equality of genders. Maybe this leads to discussion on other issues. Progress. Baby steps.
For example, there is talk of having female Imams. Hindus don't have female priests. So our culture can make strides in that area.
I really like the spirit of this thread. And it's search for reasons why both genders r treated differently.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
If not why it is not given to male? He also got right to pass longer time with the partner and he might be affected due to death of spouse i same way (emotionally and psychologically) like the ladies. no?
sada suhagan raho, doesn't refer to long matrimonial life. You can see desi ladies wishing their deaths before husbands. Sartaaj aap ki aai mujhe aae type things.
You still haven’t explained why wishing a married woman that she remains married forever should not still be seen as a dua?
Since it’s a Urdu/Hindi phrase, what’s the best way of determining that this phrase or its equivalent is used across all subcontinental cultures and languages. Or is it something that’s only been made popular through Bollywood movies and Indian commercial dramas? To me it’s just a filmy dialogue, I’ve never seen anyone use this phrase in our culture to bless the bride. There are common blessings you give to the married men and women, but they are very gender neutral and not very matrimonial sounding.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
You still haven’t explained why wishing a married woman that she remains married forever should not still be seen as a dua?
Since it’s a Urdu/Hindi phrase, what’s the best way of determining that this phrase or its equivalent is used across all subcontinental cultures and languages. Or is it something that’s only been made popular through Bollywood movies and Indian commercial dramas? To me it’s just a filmy dialogue, I’ve never seen anyone use this phrase in our culture to bless the bride. There are common blessings you give to the married men and women, but they are very gender neutral and not very matrimonial sounding.
Your post has answer to your question. It is not gender neutral. Its used for ladies only and as i mentioned there is a fear in desi ladies about bad treatment in case their husband dies before them, which lead to this 'Sada Suhagan Raho', 'Sartaaj aap ki aai mujhe aae' type stuff.
There are so many traditions connected behind this 'Sada Suhagan Raho'. It starts from Gaud Bharai / Mayun type ceremonies (where all suhagans need to do shagun). Widows are normally kept away in such situations (They are considered unlucky / manhoos as if they have murdered their husbands themselves). Though Satti got a religious tradition (and probably was not practiced first at the time of death of husband), but gradually it was performed at the time of death of husband. We don't get any incidents of males sacrificing themselves at the time of death of wives, because they were never been brain washed with slogans like 'sada suhagan raho'.
There are alternates to this 'sada suhagan raho'. In fact a famous line from Mir Anees's Marsiya 'Maang sandal se aur gaud bachon se bhari rahe' indicates it. Sandal in Maang = Sindoor in Maang (symbol of suhaagan).
PS: Sada Suhagan is otherwise also used for prostitutes as well.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Muqwee, du'aas are need based and appropriation based. man can lead his life after wife's death because he is financially dependent. is liye mardoN ko aisii du'aa mauzooniyat ke sabab nahiiN dii jaatii. a woman is dependent on her husband in our culture [at least in the yester years] and hence the appropriate du'aa for her.
vaise, this du'aa/phrase comes from Hinduism because they are not allowed to remarry after becoming a widow and often [in old days and even now but rarely] had to die in sati.
besides, the word 'suhaagan' is ONLY for women...there is no equivalent word for men. isii iye Hindu women always wear sindoor and mangal-sutra and never ever take them off...it's taken off ONLY after death. Hindu men don't wear any sindoor or mangal sutra...
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Your post has answer to your question. It is not gender neutral. Its used for ladies only and as i mentioned there is a fear in desi ladies about bad treatment in case their husband dies before them, which lead to this 'Sada Suhagan Raho', 'Sartaaj aap ki aai mujhe aae' type stuff.
There are so many traditions connected behind this 'Sada Suhagan Raho'. It starts from Gaud Bharai / Mayun type ceremonies (where all suhagans need to do shagun). Widows are normally kept away in such situations (They are considered unlucky / manhoos as if they have murdered their husbands themselves). Though Satti got a religious tradition (and probably was not practiced first at the time of death of husband), but gradually it was performed at the time of death of husband. We don't get any incidents of males sacrificing themselves at the time of death of wives, because they were never been brain washed with slogans like 'sada suhagan raho'.
There are alternates to this 'sada suhagan raho'. In fact a famous line from Mir Anees's Marsiya 'Maang sandal se aur gaud bachon se bhari rahe' indicates it. **Sandal in Maang = Sindoor in Maang (symbol of suhaagan).
PS: Sada Suhagan is otherwise also used for prostitutes as well.**
never heard of this phrase for prostitutes...prostitutes were not married women [at least in the past].
sandal is not sindoor...sindoor is red powdery stuff...red color represents 'suhaag'.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
Your post has answer to your question. It is not gender neutral. Its used for ladies only and as i mentioned there is a fear in desi ladies about bad treatment in case their husband dies before them, which lead to this 'Sada Suhagan Raho', 'Sartaaj aap ki aai mujhe aae' type stuff.
There are so many traditions connected behind this 'Sada Suhagan Raho'. It starts from Gaud Bharai / Mayun type ceremonies (where all suhagans need to do shagun). Widows are normally kept away in such situations (They are considered unlucky / manhoos as if they have murdered their husbands themselves). Though Satti got a religious tradition (and probably was not practiced first at the time of death of husband), but gradually it was performed at the time of death of husband. We don't get any incidents of males sacrificing themselves at the time of death of wives, because they were never been brain washed with slogans like 'sada suhagan raho'.
There are alternates to this 'sada suhagan raho'. In fact a famous line from Mir Anees's Marsiya 'Maang sandal se aur gaud bachon se bhari rahe' indicates it. Sandal in Maang = Sindoor in Maang (symbol of suhaagan).
PS: Sada Suhagan is otherwise also used for prostitutes as well.
No. I never said it's gender neutral! I said in Punjabi, we don't use this phrase, we have various common gender neutral blessings used for both married or non married people. It's a very filmy dialogue. We don't use this phrase at all.
So basically you are saying that wishing married woman that may you always remain married should not be seen as a dua, the giver of dua never had or seldom attach any well meaning, positive and kind intention behind it. The women other than gaining financial security didn't care about being married or loved their husbands? So all in all, the phrase carries nothing but truly depressing sinister meaning?
Suhagan literally means married woman. How can this word be used for prostitutes since they were barred for marrying?
If the point of this thread is to extract victimhood out of this phrase and impose the great burden of history on it, then that's fine. I shall leave this discussion here because clearly I'm taking the phrase at face value. All I know if I am a happily married woman and someone utters this blessing for me, I will certainly take it as a dua.
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
muqqawee bhai khud sochiye koi dua dey aisi dulhey ko sada suhagan rahu tauba tauba 
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
kion k vo jante hein as a husband sab mard ese hi hoty hein jesa unk sath hy
orr mard kamany k nashy me
unko pata nhai hota k wife k baad kitna khoar hony waly hein 
vese yi meri fav orr pehli dua hy jo me sab se kehti hun k mery liay mangen 
Re: Sada Suhaagan Raho!
There have been female Hindu priests in past just like there have been female Sufis.
Today maybe in some places culturally and societally it is not accepted or not allowed but that is only because of discrimination and prejudice as well as corrupted scriptures. In progressive places like pune it is happening. This lady works as a priest and a dentist.
BBC News - Female Hindu priest conquers holy ground
Also, the word for power Shakti is feminine in origin. Also in Vedas there have been hymns composed by females known as rishikas, female version of rishis, who had verses revealed to them. 30 of them are mentioned in Rig Veda.
Women as Rishikas in the Vedas - Hindupedia, the Hindu Encyclopedia
FEMALE RISHIS (Rishikas) | Philosophy Blog on Speakingtree.in