Re: Sad, angry and confuse
Having read most of the threads here ive come to the conclusion that the initial start off was wrong. The guy married you for his love for you not for your religion. He converted to Islam for his love for you not for Allah swt.
First and foremost… he wasnt a muslim so why even entertain the thought of getting involved with someone who has literally no understanding of your religion… People know who Muhammed pbuh is… but that doesnt mean they understand the intricasies of Islam…The world knows of Allah swt but that doesnt mean they accept his existance and follow his deen.
I understand he married you ain and converted to Islam, and that is a very very big step… you should have been patient with him…(which you say you have been) but the problem is because he wasnt sincere with Allah swt he isnt sincere with the parameters Islam sets… the start off of this relationship was love and lust and that now is fast coming to an end… and the end result is in front of you… you seem really religious so why did you take these steps… especilly when you have been married before and have children… this should have been thought out very very carefully… what message have you given to your other two kids???/
Unfortunately you laid your bed and now lying in it is becoming unbearable for you… Divorce in islam is disliked by Allah swt but HE has made it an option if and when you have exhausted all other options… the main problem is your husband DOESNT believe in Allah swt and so how can he follow what Allah swt sets out… to be honest your husband isnt a muslim… a person who doesnt believe in the existance of Allah swt… even though he has recited the kalma… cant be a muslim… he has merely recited words that have no meaning to him… he doesnt understand the big commitment he has made to Allah swt… ultimately he is responsible for his actions but it is clear he is not sincere and was never sincere with Islam…
Put all the other issues aside… and focus on your husband and Islam… religion cant be forced it is something someone pratices of the own free will… and if he cant do that… well…there is no point being in that relationship… as for your son…it will do him more harm watching and feeling all the resentment you have towards his father… and what about the other two blessed kids… dont they deserve a happy healthy mum to be bringing them up!!!