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Re: Sad, angry and confuse
If you don't mind, could you make 5 bullet points as to why you are angry at him. Be very specific.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
1) Angry because after knowing our son need him so much - he didn't call our son back the next day (Tuesday).
2) By saying "I dont know I thought you guys busy/sleeping" is like we are not important at all.
3)After all these yrs he dont want to learn abt our religion. When I told him I want to go praying for 10 min he give me unhappy face.
4) He change after got some big money from his brother
5) Angry with his text message telling me he is not mr mom and work and came home at five and not going out. I do the cooking, take care of the son, doing everthing that house wife need to do - yet he come out with this answer?
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
are you desi? it sounds like you had a love marriage, and your husband "coverted" in name only? i'm not judging your situation, just trying to get some background info so tha I can maybe advise you a little
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
Maybe I'm wrong about this....but he DID make some effort in contacting his son when he sent the good night message. It would have been worse if hadn't even bothered with that. If you shoot someone down for the smaller positive steps they take, it can shut them down from any effort at all. I've heard people say that they don't want to call someone late and disturb them while they're sleeping...I don't see that as a big deal...it does reflect concern. As for learning about religion....forcing him will only backfire. Does he at least believe in his religion...does he even want to be a Muslim? Do you also work? If not....then try to understand that while you're fulfilling your responsibilities at home....he's being the breadwinner. This is not to say that he shouldn't help out with chores at home and with raising your son....but if nagging him isn't improving the situation, maybe you need to change your approach? Maybe talk to him about what's REALLY bothering him.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
If this is the trolls trollin' I swear, this is not funny. This actually sounds sad.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
are you desi? it sounds like you had a love marriage, and your husband "coverted" in name only? i'm not judging your situation, just trying to get some background info so tha I can maybe advise you a little
Yeah, I'm wondering if ever had any genuine interest in Islam when he converted or if it was just for the sake of getting married. And if she knew that he did it just to get married....then...well....you had to have known that consequences would come with that risk.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
^yup, that's what I was thinking too...
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
Yeah, I'm wondering if ever had any genuine interest in Islam when he converted or if it was just for the sake of getting married. And if she knew that he did it just to get married....then...well....you had to have known that consequences would come with that risk.
I'm not from Pakistan. In my country to be marry a muslim girl you have to converted first. He agree to convert because he said when he was at Uni he study the world religion. He know abt our religion prob is he dont want to learn more as he suppose to be. 1998 until now how many years? I told him if he is not belive abt Allah, Muhammad then we should divorce because he is out of Islam.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
well, how are you figuring this out now after like over a decade of knowing him?
how did this topic not come up earlier?
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
^yup, that's what I was thinking too...
I should talk to the imam and if he said that he is kuffar - I will ask for divorce. I'm not staying in this since he know that I;m not 50% 50% when come to my religion.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
why did you marry a man who was not a practicing muslim to begin with if you feel so strongly about the subject? like PCG said, why is this all of a sudden such an issue 10 yrs and 1 child later? I'm sorry, but you are not making much sense here....
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
Have you asked if he believes in Allah, Muhammad (pbuh), etc? If so, what did he say? If he at least believes that Islam is the true religion…then don’t pressure him to learn more. It can put him off.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
He only send the message after I lash out. If I didnt call him he never call us back or even send a message to our son.
He can leave a message saying he is out and will call us later - but he never do that.
We wait evry 5pm (US time) for his call (9am his oversea time) - yet nothing.
Last two month he went to Vegas with his cousin - he didn't tell me at all. never call home too!
We been trying to have another children - but till now failed. In my prayer I always ask Allah to give me some clue as why we can't have another kid - after few things happened I come to conclusion that it is the best thing to not having another kid.
I'm not working - I'm full time house wife. Never ask him to do anything beside play with our son for few minutes so I can go and pray (maghrib and isya) he is not happy with it because he want to see his fav tv prog. I sometimes postponed my pryer so that I can feed, give shower to my son and settle everything without bothering him.
sorry my english is very bad.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
some country (i.e Indonesia) you can marry a muslim girl without converting to islam.
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
your english is fine, don' worry...it's your thoughts that are scattered and hard to understand...you started complaining about his lack of interest in Islam, and now you're going in a whole different direction..it sounds like you're using the religion factor as a crutch for other issues/problems...
it would help if you started from the beginning...how did you meet? what made you decide to marry him in the first place?
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
I'm sorry I really want to reply all the question but my son is in bath tub. It's amost 7.33 pm. I will try to answer all the question if I can later.
Thank you for all the feedback really appreciate it.
Salam
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
he is my boss son. I worked with his father company and we know each others from there. I told him if he is serious with me we need to get nikah. To do that he need to convert to Islam. He dont mind at all. I teach him fasting, praying etc - he learn it but after a while he dont want to do it. My sister in law told me .. my husband is in mid life crisis.
sorry need to go ..
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
some country (i.e Indonesia) you can marry a muslim girl without converting to islam.
It's still not a valid marriage, so what is even the point?
Re: Sad, angry and confuse
I ask him did he belives in Allah and Muhammad? he said he is not religious person so dont go there.
I told him this question is important to me and I need to know.