Sad, angry and confuse

[ain]

Re: Sad, angry and confuse

@redvelvet

Okay Ain…so are you saying that your husband actually TOLD you that he doesn’t believe in Allah or is that just a guess/assumption of yours?

If he said that he doens’t believe in Allah at all…

1. Ask him why. Don’t ask it in a defensive way..dont’ be mean/judgmental about it. Just ask him. Have an open dialog. I’d be curious to know what he has to say. And then you can share your beliefs…without forcing them…with him.

2. Explain to him that if he doesn’t believe in Allah…and if he’s firm in this belief of his…then according to Islam it renders your marriage invalid…any interactions you have (sex, etc) become a sin basically. Again, don’t do it in a harsh way, just state the facts..as in the religious rulings. Explain your expecations …and ASK him (without being defensive) what his expectations from a marriage are. Just have an open/non-judgmental discussion.

3. I don’t know how effective this would be…but take a break from him. Give him time and space to sort out his thoughts…and you use this time to do the same. But DEFINITELY STOP nagging him during this time. Your scolding/criticizing will only make things worse. Instead of losing your cool with him…display a sense of CALM and maturity when you give him space. This will surprise him because he expects you to (at this point) to get upset/angry at him. I think that part of his problem is that he feels stuck/overwhelmed by various things in his life/marriage. Freedom is important for guys and I think that one of the fears that many of them have is that marriage will take that freedom/autonomy away from them, so don’t act in a way that makes him feel cramped. If he desires space…you give him the galaxy and it’ll be a good time for self-reflection for you. It’ll help you both figure out what future steps need to be taken.

Thank you red. i will digest all your suggestion - I’m at home now with our son. It’s almost 3 pm now. I will talk to him after our son go to sleep.