Sometimes the guilty party is the mother-in-law and other times it's can be the daughter-in-law.
Although most mothers want to see their sons well settled with a family of their own, some of them become insecure and jealous at the the thought of a bahu stealing their son away from them. She fears that her son won't need her anymore or won't pay much attention to her as his time is going to be consumed with this wife. She wants to feel needed and in control and fears her position being undermined in a way.
Basically all three parties (including the husband/son) need to understand that a mother and a wife are TWO DIFFERENT relationships that CANNOT be compared. The needs and demands of both these relationships are DIFFERENT. And both the relationships have a unique and special place in the guy's life and one cannot replace the other.
A MIL needs to understand that a girl is giving up the comfort of her own family and home to come marry her son and adjust to his way of life. She needs to understand that adjusting to a different environment and molding yourself to this new environment is CHALLENGING and STRESSFUL for most girls. And therefore the bahu needs a lot of support and encouragement from her in-laws to make this transition as smoothly as possible. It amazes me when a mother-in-law is unjust to her bahu....it's like she doesn't seem to remember how hard it must have been for her when she got married ages ago....and if she has daughters of her own, then she needs to contemplate how SHE would feel if her OWN daughters were treated like crap in their marital homes.
Bahus need to understand that a MIL could be behaving like a monster out of insecurity and that keeping the husband on "her side" is not going to help things at all. Rather she should show the MIL that she's not a threat and is not out to steal her son. She should try to spend time and bond with her MIL. This can be done by cooking together, talkig together, shopping, helping with chores, little kindnesses here and there (such as giving gifts can help).
And it's good for both parties to overlook each others small mistakes or forgetfulnesses rather than analyze them to the point that they become a source of contention for the whole household.
Well said! :)