a few years back i went to a mirpuri wedding in uk. their families are enormous. immediate families would add up to 70 people alone. the bride i will talk about has 13 siblings and groom has 12. in their families, you only ever marry your 1st cousins. marrying your 2nd cousins is like marrying out of the family in their culture.
two bro’s were getting married to their 1st cousins. they had joint functions. couldn’t go to their mendhi & shaadi, but when I heard the info’ about those 2 functions, i said there was no way i would miss the walima!
on the walima day there were 4 chairs on the stage for the 2 bride’s & 2 groom’s. 1st couple were striking. you could see they were genuinely pleased to be getting married to each other. They were adorable. they came into the hall and sat on stage together.
When the 2nd couple came in, they looked like they were dragged in. their faces were heated and ugly. they stood at the entrance for a long time and looked like they were squabbling. uncles and aunties were fussing around them. no one could figure out what was going on. bride suddenly marched alone up on the stage and sat down next to other bride. few mins’ later, groom marched up on the stage, picked up his chair, moved it away from his wife and sat down, legs spread out, vexed and huffing and puffing! they were both in serious moods to kill eachother. then some bickering happened again. groom left the stage. bride was irritated and had her arms folded the whole time, shaking her head. She was complaining to the 1st bride loudly, waving her hands around trying to express herself. The 1st bride just listened, looking down and was quiet the whole time.
the groom was being calmed down across the hall by his cousins and uncles. the groom was so stressed he was taking his tie off and fixing it again and again. he went back on the stage and started bickering some more with his wife. then she left the stage and went to sit with her cousins/ sisters at a table. She started chewing some gum and complaining loudly.
The 1st couple just sat on the stage in silence, looking so humiliated and so sad. I felt so bad for them as they wanted this walima and the 2nd couple were so bad-mannered they needed a good spanking! they disgraced their families/ friends and let everyone down by their behaviour.
in the end, the groom left the hall and never came back. it was the worst and rudest wedding I ever went to. sad part was their families were such wonderful people! goodness knows what was wrong with the 2nd couple and what issues they were having! they never moved in with each other after the walima and after a few months got a divorce. both married to other 1st cousins now, the groom married his 1st cousin from his village in pakistan.