Room issue.

[khattichic]

Re: Room issue.

@newbee13

I will look it up. How can I let my husband deal with his dad? He won’t speak up. In his household everyone is scared of his dad. Even the eldest brother.
Yesterday on aftari my fil made a smoothy. I don’t like milk or bananas..so I refused to drink and told him I like chocolate milk only.he said this is chocolate.. I said it’s not.. He got angry all of a sudden and said do you think I’m lying to you? Don’t argue with me. And after that the rest of the dinner I didn’t talk. I ate a bit and went for namaz. Later my mil told me if I minded.. I told her no but he gets angry too much and I’m worried about my married life.. If he’ll put restrictions. She said just tell me whenever you wanna go I’ll handle him.

But ladies.. I don’t want to be seeking permission all the time? It would be so difficult for me asking if I can go here and there. We’re married let us make our decisions.

You’re at iftari with them at their house…you’ve mentioned that you spend a lot of time with your mil going out to movies, shopping etc, fighting with husband..you say kids are coming soon…yet no “ruhksati”…sounds more like a formality, no? From the looks of things you’re already practically living there lol, the way you have such in depth knowledge of the workings and politics of their household.

Why the holdup on moving in together under the same roof if you’re already married? Call me old fashioned but I was raised with the ideology that shaadi se pehlay larkiyan susural nahin jaati (meaning the time between engagement/shaadi/ruhksati girls don’t frequent their inlaws house) and we definitely do not have nikkahs without immediate ruhksati (only if there is a pressing situation like immigration)…your situation highlights the reason why prolonged nikkahs are frowned upon…not even under the same roof and so much drama and demands already.