ok i want everybodys view on this,
me and my husband came to uk almost 12 years ago. we both are born and raised in paksitan.
now general perception is everyone in pak wants to marry their son/daughter to someone who is settled abroad. but what i have noticed is people do want their sons to marry someone from abroad in senarios like where they do not have a respectable job in pakistan or not that well educated and if their sons are well settle in pakistan they want traditional pakistani bahu. in almost all marriages i know off where groom is from pakistan i find girl is far more educated/settled then boy.
my fathers brother lives in lahore he got both his sons engaged to his brother in laws daughters who were canadian national. but as soon as one of his son got admission in nust in electrical engineering and other is commissioned in army they broke the engagement.
my daughter is mashAllah 10 year old now and i am just terrified by the thought of not finding the suitable match for my daughter in pakistan.
my brother was a student here in uk and he really liked this girl she was lovely he brought her my home even her family was very friendly and nice but my mom says she would rather keep my brother single then marry him to a girl (pakistani origin) from uk.
does anybody else has noticed this?
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Enjoy the fruits of the double standards of Pakistanis. Yes it happens, not to every family, but often enough that there is an excess of Pakistani girls living and raised abroad who have difficulty finding rishtas. Just go to any matrimonial event in the west and you'll see the excess line of young women looking for grooms and the sad small consortment of barely eligible guys left that they have to pick from.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Salam.
your daughter is just 10.
Please concentrate on her upbringing rather than worrying about rishta for now.
General perception about desi girls born and raisesld abroad is that they are very materialistic and less flexible.
How is your experience?
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Teach yourself and then your daughter not to rely on or conform to others' desires and approval to achieve happiness. That lesson is worth a thousand rishtas.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
I agree with other posters, focus on raising your girl well and instilling all the
positive values and ensuring that she is able to stand on her own two feet. InshAllah, when the right time comes she will be able to find the perfect person for herself.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Your perception is not true for everyone, you'd be surprised.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Teach yourself and then your daughter not to rely on or conform to others' desires and approval to achieve happiness. That lesson is worth a thousand rishtas.
Isn't that exactly why moms don't want foreign raised bahus? And what's wrong with teaching conforming and adapting? (I mean don't conform to psycho stuff but being open to change is always good).
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
i think when the moms realize it's not about them, and about their son/daughter getting married.....everything will be resolved.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Isn't that exactly why moms don't want foreign raised bahus? And what's wrong with teaching conforming and adapting? (I mean don't conform to psycho stuff but being open to change is always good).
Not to feel bad about yourself and change who you are in essence. The OP's daughter can't change that she's foreign-born. If that's going to keep some close-minded people from being interested in her, so what? There are plenty of people who will look to find a bahu who is confident, capable, friendly, sincere, etc, regardless of birthplace. It's one thing to be flexible, generous, and open; another to constantly try to please people who will never accept you and who are not worth the trouble. No matter where you are born, we constantly have to relearn this lesson that happiness does not come from pleasing others and trying to live up to their expectations. It comes from doing what you care about and can be proud of.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Do people look for rishtas? I thought all foreign born and bred girls and boys marry their first cousins.
Your daughter is too young, concentrate on other more important thing.
Is not that a bit extreme! 
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
General perception about desi girls born and raisesld abroad is that they **are very materialistic **and less flexible.
Girls born ABROAD are very materialistic??? What?! In my experience, the opposite holds true.
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
my brother was a student here in uk and he really liked this girl she was lovely he brought her my home even her family was very friendly and nice but my mom says she would rather keep my brother single then marry him to a girl (pakistani origin) from uk. does anybody else has noticed this?
intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. When her son marries a girl not raised or born abroad because of this very generalized, insensitive, and judgmental way of thinking, it's fine, when his little babies grow up to be foreign born and raised, he'll know exactly how us foreign raised girls/guys feel.
the way the mom thinks isn't very uncommon
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
ok i want everybodys view on this, me and my husband came to uk almost 12 years ago. we both are born and raised in paksitan. now general perception is everyone in pak wants to marry their son/daughter to someone who is settled abroad. but what i have noticed is people do want their sons to marry someone from abroad in senarios like where they do not have a respectable job in pakistan or not that well educated and if their sons are well settle in pakistan they want traditional pakistani bahu. in almost all marriages i know off where groom is from pakistan i find girl is far more educated/settled then boy. my fathers brother lives in lahore he got both his sons engaged to his brother in laws daughters who were canadian national. but as soon as one of his son got admission in nust in electrical engineering and other is commissioned in army they broke the engagement. my daughter is mashAllah 10 year old now and i am just terrified by the thought of not finding the suitable match for my daughter in pakistan. my brother was a student here in uk and he really liked this girl she was lovely he brought her my home even her family was very friendly and nice but my mom says she would rather keep my brother single then marry him to a girl (pakistani origin) from uk. does anybody else has noticed this?
Your daughter is born in UK. She is BRITISH, so why do you want to marry her in Pakistan? Lack of decent guys in UK perhaps? Or you don't want somebody from UK culture? Guess what...you yourself migrated to the same ****** western culture but because you are a ***** you don't want a son In law from the same culture you yourself migrated to...
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
^Hostile much?
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Islamabadi that was uncalled for
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Your daughter is born in UK. She is BRITISH, so why do you want to marry her in Pakistan? Lack of decent guys in UK perhaps? Or you don't want somebody from UK culture? Guess what...you yourself migrated to the same dirty western culture but because you are a hypocrite you don't want a son In law from the same culture you yourself migrated to...
She didn't say SHE wont be able to find a Pakistani guy for her daughter, she said the guy's family would not approve of her foreign born and raised daughter (irrespective of the fact whether the guy himself is from UK or from Pakistan).
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
girls in pakistan have it easy
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Do they really? 
Re: rishtas for desi girls born and raised abroad
Do people look for rishtas? I thought all foreign born and bred girls and boys marry their first cousins.
Your daughter is too young, concentrate on other more important thing.
soooo bitter. you remind me of this woman we know in our social circle...her family married her to a doctor who's a bit older than her...and yea...theyre such an arrogant yet jealous family.
i don't know of anyone married to their first cousin