Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Okay now is the time to start objecting. So tell your dad that he should cancel his meeting with them tomorrow unless they are willing to compromise.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird…!
My mum said, I am not getting any younger (28) and that I am not all that either (she always says this, she even said this to one my girl cousins when she was trying to get her married to someone she wanted), so I better knuckle down and get married and expect sacrifice things, and you cannot make a fuss in these peoples house. I am like well at least go see these people before making assumptions. I am really angry right now. Mainly because she winds me up.
Then they say to me if I want all these freedoms I should marry my cousin. 
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Okay wait a minute I am confused.
Are you parents assuming the guys family do not want a working wife or are have the guys family said this?
Parents can be very weird when it comes to rishtas they say all sorts of things, its not right but it happens especially when they stress out alot. Just ignore it. You are strong independent educated beautiful working woman and its only fair that you be allowed to work if you want to after marriage without compromising on essential family matters.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
They are assuming, but they said that someone was looking after their mother who died last year (Dadeeh or something) & that now they need someone else and basically I am the replacement. Basically they said theres no 2-ways about it this is what I would be going there to do. I just got angry and left the room, as I am working (from home at the moment) so had a excuse to leave. I dunno it never sounded ideal to me.
I am very livid right now.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Venting now!!! Just had a parental sit down, they are now saying if**** I do go into this Rishta - I won't be able to work - as in work after marriage. Basically they just someone to cook and clean and be a full time carer for their mother. Got really angry at my parents as I said I educated myself for so long, to not actually work is a insult to myself.
They said IF* you go into this rishta....which means that it's up to you. That said, if you're against it, then stand your ground. Make it clear that you're not going for it. I've seen parents give lectures (you're not getting any younger, you're not all that, etc etc) EVEN when you refuse a rishta that they themselves were not too crazy about. The reason for the lecture is not to make you agree to the rishta at hand........but rather the lectures are like a warning that just because you rejected THIS rishta, doesn't mean that you should do the same to other rishtas that you may get in the future. I've seen it happen.
I understand that your mom's lectures make you livid, but you don't have any control over them. You can try to reason with her until you're blue in the face, but she won't stop making such comments until you actually agree upon a rishta which leads to a committment. So, try not to get so bothered about things you can't control and focus your energy on things you CAN control.....which would be refusing this rishta.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Its funny because they said - its either this or my cousin back in Pakistan... HA HA HA, Its like yes lets go down to that train wreck again
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
They are assuming, but they said that someone was looking after their mother who died last year (Dadeeh or something) & that now they need someone else and basically I am the replacement. Basically they said theres no 2-ways about it this is what I would be going there to do. I just got angry and left the room, as I am working (from home at the moment) so had a excuse to leave. I dunno it never sounded ideal to me.
I am very livid right now.
Wow! So they are not looking for a life partner for their son, just a nurse and caretaker for the MIL. You are absolutely correct to say no.
Best I can say is that at least they are being honest about what they expect from you. Imagine finding out about this after marriage!
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird…!
No is the right answer for this rishta. It will be cheaper for them to hire a full time caretaker for their mother , unless they do not want to take good care of their daughter in law. A daughter in law is not a bakri which they just feed and get the milk out of her.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
It could be that they were taking care of their families and thats why their marriages got delayed.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
I am kinda like to advice you to go with your gut feeling and say no.
You r lucky Niksik didnt come here and asked for advice when she approved ur Rishta.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Say No to this rishta. Caring for old MIL and FIL is a good thing but if someone is marrying you for this thing only, they should better hire some nurse. If your parents want to see this proposal, let them see. They themselves will reject it since no parents can put their child in tough situation. My mom has made me agreed to many difficult proposals and then she herself backed off when she realised it would be very difficult rishta situation for me. Believe me, your parents won't throw you into any difficult rishta. They are just stressed out but they will soon realise if they meet the family and guy.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird…!
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Ashy I hope so! My uncle is going with and I know hes level headed so he will whack some sense into them.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
There are plenty more fish in the sea; you just have to sift through them to find the right one. Your choice cannot be confined to either this one or that one, especially when you have such deep reservations about them. Don't give up your fight if you are against it, although you might want to just to save yourself the hassel from your parents; you've done it once and you can do it again.
Yeah feel like saying nahee! As they are off today, tbh dad should go look for himself. I feel like interfering as every part me feels like saying no, even to the point where I am now thinking the cousin a better prospect than this - god help me! 
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
^ I don't want to be mean to your parents, but it seems like that is the real motive of your parents. They want you to think the first proposal is better by finding you another totally rubbish prospect. DON'T FALL INTO THE TRAP!!!! But do check out this prospect properly before discarding it, you might be suprised....it may not be all that bad.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
maybe you should try to talk to the guy. tell him that you won't stop working and that you can help his mom but there's only so much you can do when trying to balance your marriage, the home, work, and trying to take care of his mom. after hearing this, he might reject you.
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird...!
Go with your gut feelings. And i do know that parents can put un-necessarily pressure to find someone asap to get married. And mainly because they are worried. However, you have to roughly imagine how you want your life to be. Would you just to want to be care-taker only?. Wish you all the best!
Re: Rishta that sounds a bit weird…!
That’s like choosing between Afghanistan and Iraq (don’t shoot me PC-police 
).
Be glad they made it clear instead of lying to you and trapping you into a bad situation.
and your parents, honestly…
Soundarya good idea. I know Sara not much of a choice really. Dads gone today to look so will see.