Re: Rishta stories
Its interesting to see all the "non-married" nai pood pile on arranged marriage. Before you gals start jumping down my throat, let me say that I shunned arranged marriage and married a "white" woman, however, I have nothing against arranged marriage. You gals need a reality check, why do you want to put down something that you have no clue about? Ask your parents if they had arranged marriage and if their lives suck?
Re: Rishta stories
Kaleem, i have been in an arranged marriage and i am in love marriage.
I prefer love marriage.
I don't think theres anything wrong when people prefer a certain type, whether it be arranged or love.
Re: Rishta stories
Solar, I did not say that there was something wrong with love marriage...all I am saying is dont come out with "arranged marriages suck"....they dont...if they did most of us will not be here today.
Re: Rishta stories
I don't know about religious differences but i do know about cultural differences as my husband and i are from two different cultures. I do believe that a marriage works if the two people involved are willing to put effort into it. Any marriage requires work and a marriage between two different cultures may require more work than one that doesn't as the differences do need to be dealt with. But it can be done. . . and i think that love is a really good foundation for that. And i'm not talking about puppy love or passion or lust, i'm talking about love when you truly care about someone. . . to find that is rare and i would have to say that if two people do find that and they are facing cultural differences, it is very possible that love is going to help them through it IF they both are willing to put in the effort. If they are not, then i would have to wonder if both people were in love to begin with. . .
Re: Rishta stories
Kaleem, Me saying arranged marriages suck is nothing more than my personal opinion regarding those people forced into arranged marriages who do not want an arranged marriage. That is all. I wish every marriage the best whether it be arranged or love.
Re: Rishta stories
Kaleem, give em benefit of the doubt, some of us have had pretty bad experiences with the whole arranged setup, whereas some of us are just going by what we hear n see n dont want it to happen to us.. arranged marriages are not a bad thing, but being forced to marry someone for any reason, i dont think anyone with a brain and a heart can justify.. Plus, our parents generation was different.. back then there was really no choice, it was arranged all the way, and love marriages weren’t as common/accepted as they are today..
to me the perfect love marriage is where he or she has the qualities that ure parents wud look for (in an arranged setup) but u like the person a lot n u jus happened to find em first 
…my parents marriage was really a love marriage, even tho it started out arranged, with introductions thru rishta makers/family members, my dad n my mom wanted to marry only each other 
Re: Rishta stories
when people who advocates for arranged marriage say "see how succesfull arranged amrriage are", they mean a succesfull marriage is one that leads to many children:D without divorce.
when people who advocates for love marriage say "love marriage are more succesfull than arranged ones" they mean that the personal happiness of each couple member is greater with love than with compromises:D
that's why people never agree, they simplu don't use the same defintion for "succesfull marriages"
Re: Rishta stories
Arranged marriage is just a control mechanism..finding a daughter in lwa they can control..so many educated career women are being disapproved of cuz of their strong personalities...
Personally I will go for love marriage, but making it look like an arranged marriage cuz my parents wud never ever accept him if they knew we are in love (???!!!)...
I just returned home after a long period of tranfer through work and lived on my own for quiet long time and I really loved it. Now I am back home to the routine of staying home after work, not hanging out with friends etc etc...its a huge change from complete independence to control...
And the fun part is that eventhough I had the chance aborad, I still didnt do stuff that I would regret later on...Now I just wish to have the oppotunity to hang out with my friends...
Re: Rishta stories
[quote=saimanyc]
I think you’re speaking in terms of the old fashioned way of arranged marriages. That’s where people are matched up without knowing or speaking to one another. Nowadays couples are introduced through family and given permission to get to know one another in the prospect that something may evolve. That’s how it was with me and my husband. We wanted our families approval and support. We believed in interdependence rather than complete independence. I rely on my parents. I want to be a part of their lives. I could never imagine stating to them that I’m going to do whatever I want against their advice because it’s my life.
I believe that taking my life into my own hands involves the consious decision- making about what benefits everyone in the big picture. Because a family and a community all rely on eachother. I don’t believe that one person can be completely independent from others. Love is wonderful. We can all be so lucky to find it. But a happy marriage is one that is going to last.
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lajawab:
Re: Rishta stories
I believe it's down to destiny too - if someone is destined to have a divorce it doesn't matter if they had a love or arranged marriage and vice versa...