Re: Rishta stories
I tell these rishta stories cuz i am sick of rishtas, not to make anyone feel bad. Its like they dont even bother asking whether i am availible or not. Anyways, i dont know why other ppl do it. I think i got my first rishta when i was 13 :-/ but thats cuz i was tall for my age and had curves :-/
Re: Rishta stories
I got a lot of rishtas when i was little too but i think its cuz i was an ameican citizen living in pak. Cuz to tell u teh truth i was an ugly kid 
Phir when i came to america, some ppl came for my rishta to my nani but my uncle rejected them all, saying they’re not good enuff for me 
Re: Rishta stories
..i remember my first rishta…i was in grade 10 - so that would make me 15, and this guy was like a good 10 years older than me. haha..now that i look back on it, it’s hilarious…but at that time, it was a very different life experience..
the guy coming to your house..you going to the guy’s house. i think we had met on several occassions, but i dunno, something didn’t sit well with my family, plus he was like decades older than i was.. 
Re: Rishta stories
Smilestar that's creepy and illegal in some states. Kidding, you were toooo young. I know a couple girls who got married at age 17 and her sister at 19. Even that is a baby. I always knew that I'd want to atleast complete my BA first. I always felt that I needed to do certain things first, have experienced a certain level of independence and confidence in myself first before marriage. I wanted some work experience. I wanted to feel ready for marriage. It was just the next step in life.
Re: Rishta stories
^ now that you mention it…it was illegal at that time 
but good for you - you got your priorities in order. and never leave school to get married, it’s never a good idea. even if you find your prince charming…
if he is your prince charming..he’ll let you finish school
Re: Rishta stories
Are you sure that it's illegal? The law places a minimum age on marriage... but not, to the best of my knowledge, on engagement.
Re: Rishta stories
well no..not on engagement, but if we had gotten married ..well then my parents would have had to sign on my behalf..
Re: Rishta stories
that is crazy man.......y do paki pppl worry too much about thiers daughter's rishtazz.....i hate that arrange marriage scene.... its so uncomfortabel....i dunno how ppl do that....
Re: Rishta stories
ok guys i said it once.. and i wil say it again.. shadi khana barbadee ...
and if u marry at young age that is worst..
abay logo.. take a deep breath.. finish ur education. work for a couple of years.. then think about marriage..
agar tumharay naseeb main shadi howa to tumhari shadi zaroor hogee.. agar nahi howa to even if u are world most beautiful girl. u wouldn't get to marrry anyone.. so just wait for the perfect time. :)
Re: Rishta stories
yes, arranged marriages suck.
All you single girlies should take your future into your hands and do not go for arranged marriages (if you are not comfy with them).
Falling in love is soo much cooler :love:
Re: Rishta stories
yea thats wat i say…i totally agree wit u solar ocean
Re: Rishta stories
i dunno ..sure love marriages are great and all, but how long do you wait for the right guy to come along? and how long do you ‘date’ this guy..to find out that he really is the one?
..i mean same goes for arranged marriages, you don’t know the guy…
so it’s sorta a catch-22
Re: Rishta stories
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm felt the need to revive this one, its very interesting (and frustrating) hearing all the diff stories...what do you guys think of marrying someone from your motherland? has it worked for anyone?
Re: Rishta stories
My mum took me with her to some family friends the other day, and they told her how they had done their grand-daughters rishta to her who is only 15 to her cousin/uncle. It just astounded me because i remember attending her parents marriage wen i was little. Anyway, to cut a long story short my mum congratulated them and they then looked at me asked me how old i was now...told them i would be 21 in 2 weeks and the response i got was 'aww she'd only a year younger than our ali' - who is married with 2 kids. Anyway i don't understand why they have to get their children married at such a young age (its almost as if they're kids are burden which they want to be relieved off!).
Re: Rishta stories
^^ Why do you care maddy? We can get 4 ..
1 arranged
1 love
1 other love
1 ... ummm ... spare?
Re: Rishta stories
because i think so that's why.
and yes that's my own personal opinion
based on my own experiences
you are more than entitled to yours.
Re: Rishta stories
I think you’re speaking in terms of the old fashioned way of arranged marriages. That’s where people are matched up without knowing or speaking to one another. Nowadays couples are introduced through family and given permission to get to know one another in the prospect that something may evolve. That’s how it was with me and my husband. We wanted our families approval and support. We believed in interdependence rather than complete independence. I rely on my parents. I want to be a part of their lives. I could never imagine stating to them that I’m going to do whatever I want against their advice because it’s my life.
I believe that taking my life into my own hands involves the consious decision- making about what benefits everyone in the big picture. Because a family and a community all rely on eachother. I don’t believe that one person can be completely independent from others. Love is wonderful. We can all be so lucky to find it. But a happy marriage is one that is going to last.
Re: Rishta stories
Saimanyc, I'm glad you're marriage is going well and I hope it continues to be blessed Ameen.
And yes for the most part, i was talking about the old way of doing it. . however, i still see parents trying to do that to their kids. In fact, my cousin right now is being pressured to agree to marry another cousin because their mothers agreed to it when the kids were very young. The girl is not interested and the guy sometimes says he's interested and other times, says he's not. But the manipulation tactics, the crying, the "save the honor of your family" and "we gave our word" tactics continues on the girl.
I don't think the sole criteria for a happy marriage is one that lasts. I believe if both people are happy in the marriage, then it is succesful. If one person or both people are not, then it may last but i don't know if i'd call that succesful.
As far as love, whether arranged or love marriage, i believe it is important a factor in making a marriage succesful.
And as far as parental involvement goes, i think it really depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. Some people have positive experiences and may want their parents involved in the match making process and others, don't. I don't think there's any right or wrong way. Some people may have awesome relationship with their parents but are still uncomfortable with the idea of arranged marriages.
I advocate children being able to choose and decide which way they want to go. That is all :)
And yes, personally, i'm not the biggest fan of arranged marriages.
And it's not because i think they all fail or anything like that.
My view is just based on my personal experience that is all.
Re: Rishta stories
I'll finish my thought. A happy marriage is one that lasts because it's not based on a short term passion. Some love marriages may fail because they start with such passion that the couple are blinded by love. They won't see eachother's quirks or annoying habits. There may be too many cultural or religious differences that eventually lead to arguments.
