Rishta Issue

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Rishta Issue

impatient or not........you don't like him anymore........end of story.

42

Re: Rishta Issue

You are not being impatient ... thats a guy's opinion ;) .. and i seriously think that guy is confused, he may not be a tough guy to stand the expectations of his family vs. his own desires/wishes.

However as i previously said.. "jis relation kay start main hi itni confusion ho, tu agay chal kay kiya hoga"

You will get lot of opinions here, but no one can decide better for you than your own self.

Better to take this thing off your mind, and see if in future there is some advancement from the other side, you can again take guidance from "pearls of wisdom" on this forum :)

43

Re: Rishta Issue

if it aitn working out let it go , maybe someone else will like the rishta more then you guys
but honostly i dont think its worth the wait if hes not been in touch

44

Re: Rishta Issue

Am I the only thinking that it is "your" time to talk and not his as ball is in your court now. He has already proposed to you and waiting for a reply from you.

45

Re: Rishta Issue

do you have any idea of how their family does these things? was that covered in the initial or subsequent conversations?

That would be helpful. actions in a vacuum mean little, you have to figure out the context.

here is a very logical and real possibility

The initial interaction from her mother was an elder to elder..family to family conversation..maybe that is how it it. I know it is like that in many families, and they dont even talk to the girl..or the guy, because if something is not going to go forward..... having to have those calls or meetings...and nothing happen does a number on the person..

the fact that she did speak to you the second time around again indicates that they want to move forward...whether it is at the insistence of her son, or because the family overall is supportive can't be gauged. They can't be totally against it, because if he is not calling you due to some family expectation, and he listens to them that much, they could have simply told him, not happening and he would have followed that too.

some families take time..and yes in some cases they are trying to find out more info about your family and yourself from other sources..

if he has not called, and yo have not called, what is the difference between you two?

Look- very honest although extreme advise, if these type of things tick you off that much and the relationship is not strong enough that you can discuss it with him, then let it go. I dont see the point of someone marrying someone whose intentions they question, can not discuss it openly with them, and whose family they dislike from the get go.

My other honest and pragmatic advise is, that you call him...it does not have to be digging into what is going on, but no harm in welcoming him back and seeing how his trip went. the conversation does not even have to be about rishta..if it comes up it comes up. figure things out, you guys are grown ups. and if u guys can't figure it out or talk etc, then regardless of how smooth things were going u have to rethink it anyways

46

Re: Rishta Issue

funky nails.........it is hard to find good rishtas these days agreed! But one piece of advice you should have the familys blessings. If his family is confused about you then that is not a good sign. if the guy was brought up back home (pakistan) he may not be comfortable with an upfront girl. This is a BIG red flag. many of the guys that have good careers and were brought up in pakistan are very conservative and want a demuure shy girl that lets the guy "fulfil his obligations and responsiblities. he might have alot of responsiblities and obligations on his shoulders. Is he marrying you for greencard/citizneship? Parents back home expect alot from theeir sons and give them the GUILT TRIP BIG TIME. I think it is good of them if they are unsure. I know of some many people who lie and are deceitful and they use the girl. if both of your outlooks on life don't match in the beginning ........it is very difficult to make this relationship work unless one of is willing to change completely. Trust me you don't just marry the guy you marry the whole khandan and his upbring and thought process. Respect yourself.....and I would advise girls to hand this responsiblity over to the parents........they should be handling this and not leaving it up to unexperience girls.

47

Re: Rishta Issue

he's been living here for many years, that is not the reason... and he is very openminded...

@ X2:
i knew u were going to say this abt me not calling him. if i call him up asking him everything which is mostly issues his family has. he will never ever take that behaviour from me. no one does if its abt their family. i dont want to make a fool of myself by doing that... and btw people are very carefull in rishta's so i dont think its my place to call him up...
Its not that i cant discuss this with him,...but im pretty sure i will be offending his family if i start abt this issue...

48

Re: Rishta Issue

like twinkle start said my parents are handling it... as in finding out what the problem is.

49

Re: Rishta Issue

And where exactly did I say call him to dig into family stuff?
Please read again....carefully