Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
at Nomi
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
lol. when you are an absolute unknown to the girl you are sending a proposal to, its pretty obvious that her family will do some background check on you right? they want to know if the guy is good enough or works where he says he works or for whatever reason. unless ofcourse the family wants to blindly give their daughter away to whoever comes their way. my point is, its okay. a check is okay. and work place seems to be good for that. you may have a different opinion. and thats okay too =p
If it were up to me, I wont send rishtaz to unknown girls to whom I am unknown. The concept personally makes no sense to me. I don't, and wont marry a stranger. I certainly wont like it if someone calls my work place to inquire if i had 'girlfriend's or wives' or if I do 'drug's or whatever else is included in this 'investigation'.
Point is, don't give out your daughters to people you don't know, just because they live in the US and 'bachi' ko green card mil jaye ga.
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
If it were up to me, I wont send rishtaz to unknown girls to whom I am unknown. The concept personally makes no sense to me. I don't, and wont marry a stranger. I certainly wont like it if someone calls my work place to inquire if i had 'girlfriend's or wives' or if I do 'drug's or whatever else is included in this 'investigation'.
Point is, don't give out your daughters to people you don't know, just because they live in the US and 'bachi' ko green card mil jaye ga.
Its not that our parents deliberately want to marry us off to countries like USA.. we are already overseas Pakistanis so we are not that excited for countries like USA... And having lived abroad, getting most proposals from USA, UK and Canada (may be coz they think us to have an advantage of already loiving abroad)... So rishta availability is not something which is in our hands...
Its just that whatever is available, how to go about the investigation... marrying total strangers is what happens in our desi society 99% of the times I guess...
So the problem is there.. this thread was just a means to just discuss ways to go about solving the problem :)
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
Find some local rishta...
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
Find some local rishta...
Local larke are out of stock... Now what?
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
Local larke are out of stock... Now what?
You live in UAE, loads of boys there, and Pakistan is only a 2 hours flight... p.s. you're saying you're overseas Pakistani already, but its not really like that. Things are different in the US/UK, and the fact that you still see no problem in investigating through asking someone's workplace perfectly acceptable is proof right there.
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
You live in UAE, loads of boys there, and Pakistan is only a 2 hours flight... p.s. you're saying you're overseas Pakistani already, but its not really like that. Things are different in the US/UK, and the fact that you still see no problem in investigating through asking someone's workplace perfectly acceptable is proof right there.
Its not that I do not see it acceptable or not.. I just thought it might be the common way to doing the investigation by desi people (I might be wrong). From my experience, proposals from Pakistan want us to call them over and get them established and settled somewhere abroad... and what if I (along with many girls out there) have hesitation in getting married and settled in Pakistan... Many guys in UAE prefer to marry in Pakistan and bring wives from there (heard many stories where guys after looking for girms in UAE for 3-4 years went to Pakistan, marry there and bring wives from there)... So this leaves the choice limited.. Am yes I am representing girls in UAE where majority of my friends and their families have same views and problems.
Majority of the proposals are from USA, Canada and these families want to marry their sons in countries like UAE... And we see a lot of marriages done with guys living in USA and Canada and the guys are shareef.. Its just that cross checking makes our parents a bit easy and relaxed and there is no wrong is having satisfaction...
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
Its not that I do not see it acceptable or not.. I just thought it might be the common way to doing the investigation by desi people (I might be wrong). From my experience, proposals from Pakistan want us to call them over and get them established and settled somewhere abroad... and what if I (along with many girls out there) have hesitation in getting married and settled in Pakistan... So this leaves the choice limited.. Am yes I am representing girls in UAE where majority of my friends and their families have same views and problems.
And we see a lot of marriages done with guys living in USA and Canada and the guys are shareef.. Its just that cross checking makes our parents a bit easy and relaxed and there is no wrong is having satisfaction...
A guy whose working in a professional environment, finds no problem with someone out of the blue contacting his company for information would be very desperate (who is having a hard time marrying someone on his own).
p.s. just to let you know, most established businesses and corporations in the US have very well set rules and the HR policies do not allow anyone to give personal information about any of their employees to someone who calls just like that. They can get sued bigtime if they do that. You should really hire some investigative journalist like that guy in 'there's something about Mary' played by Mat Dillon.
I personally think its about time people stop marrying total strangers. Even if hes not married before does not guarantee he's not a 'shareef' person. I do sympathize with parents of the daughters and that is why I am saying this.
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
A guy whose working in a professional environment, finds no problem with someone out of the blue contacting his company for information would be very desperate (who is having a hard time marrying someone on his own).
p.s. just to let you know, most established businesses and corporations in the US have very well set rules and the HR policies do not allow anyone to give personal information about any of their employees to someone who calls just like that. They can get sued bigtime if they do that. You should really hire some investigative journalist like that guy in 'there's something about Mary' played by Mat Dillon.
I personally think its about time people stop marrying total strangers. Even if hes not married before does not guarantee he's not a 'shareef' person. I do sympathize with parents of the daughters and that is why I am saying this.
We daughters are totally helpless and can only pray our parents do not have to go through tough times because of us... Thanks for your kind input...
Re: Rishta Inquiry/ Investigation
I think its better to be upfront about it and have the guy's side provide references or something....and you people doing the same......there is only so much investigation you can do.....