Heard a lot of Desi guys go for marriage there for green card purpose and then they get married again back home.
First marriages should be quite easy to find out about thru public records but obviously second marriages like this or even in the same country wouldn't as they're often not officially registered.. I guess most wives would have no clue unless the husband kept disappearing but even then there could be plausible reasons like constant business trips or an ill relative..
You should meet with the family as much as you can. If thats not possible due to distance, then ask him to give you his friends number or something. and ooh never marry in a big family no matter how nice they seem at first. And always rely on yourself and remember there are no guarntees in life
How far can we go in the investigation process.. like calling some of the friends of the guys (we will be having their numbers from the guy himself of course, and obviously he willl be goving those friends' contact who will only say good about him)... what other sources can be used initially? Because if we plan to use private investigaotr's services, it will only be in the end when we are about to finalise the rishta? We won't be spending money on each and every prospect to dig info about him..
My mom being widowed, me being the first child and our family having lived abroad for most of our lives and away from relatives have caused us to freaked out in the rishta investigation process as we have heard many unfortunate stories about guys in the USA especially having done marriages previously for any reason...
^ true.. thanks for a good advice... I will ask my mom to hold the collar of any boy she sees for me from now on and ask this question before she takes the matter ahead :D
^ usually the way to go???? real nice, invading his professional privacy... if our desi arranged marriage shenanigans arent an embarrassment already, calling someone's coworkers just like this and asking personal details is totally out of the order.
Lol yeah. And it's not like his coworker won't tell him about that.
But I heard people ask the colleagues etc and visit the workplace to know about the guy... well my maternal granddad asked one of his friends to go and check my dad's workplace and my dad cud not get an idea about any investigation taken place at all...
But its very difficult when the guy is in USA, UK etc and we dun have many people in those countries... And the chances of previous marriages is very high in USA etc so its kinda scary...
Better Allah per bhaoora ker k kuuwwaain main kood jao... But my mom is very scared with all these USA, Canada proposals :(
But I heard people ask the colleagues etc and visit the workplace to know about the guy... well my maternal granddad asked one of his friends to go and check my dad's workplace and my dad cud not get an idea about any investigation taken place at all...
But its very difficult when the guy is in USA, UK etc and we dun have many people in those countries... And the chances of previous marriages is very high in USA etc so its kinda scary...
Better Allah per bhaoora ker k kuuwwaain main kood jao... But my mom is very scared with all these USA, Canada proposals :(
In the US and UK, you dont just go around calling someone's work and ask them how many times one of their employees has been married or how many girlfriends he has and all that jazz... Honestly, your mom should just stop looking for ajnabi rishta's abroad, and settle for a nice guy (that you and her know very well) even if he's in Pakistan.
But I heard people ask the colleagues etc and visit the workplace to know about the guy... well my maternal granddad asked one of his friends to go and check my dad's workplace and my dad cud not get an idea about any investigation taken place at all...
Lol they always find out. It happened to my cousin here, guys at his workplace told him people had been around to ask whether he really worked there, was an engineer, etc. Many people here just take it as a norm and don't mind it, but I'd be pretty peeved off if that happened.
^ usually the way to go???? real nice, invading his professional privacy... if our desi arranged marriage shenanigans arent an embarrassment already, calling someone's coworkers just like this and asking personal details is totally out of the order.
lol. when you are an absolute unknown to the girl you are sending a proposal to, its pretty obvious that her family will do some background check on you right? they want to know if the guy is good enough or works where he says he works or for whatever reason. unless ofcourse the family wants to blindly give their daughter away to whoever comes their way. my point is, its okay. a check is okay. and work place seems to be good for that. you may have a different opinion. and thats okay too =p
Wo jawab de ga… beta ab teri baari hai 
