Hi all, I’m not frequent user of this forum. I was seraching for clothing and wedding related stuff. Story lambi hai but I’m hoping k somebody is gonna help both of us.
As some of you might know that I was getting married in May but unfortunately exactly one week before the wedding, shadi toot gaye sirf aik choti c baat say. Most people here on this forum are muslims, but I’m not. Please don’t answer my situaution in accordance with the religion. As in muslims, there are shias, sunnis, saeeds. Same is with christians. Well, I don’t know much about muslim religion but in christians, we all have the same belief but logon nay different point of views bana liye hain. I don’t know how to exactly explain this but I think u got what I’m trying to say. Well, back to the situation.
Me & my Fiance’ were engaged for almost 4 years. We were in relationship few years before that. This relationship was only based on phone or 5 minutes meeting. We moved in USA and then that reltionship was only over the phone. We both loved each other very much. Long term relationships are not easy but hum dono nay nibhaya 5 saal tak just over the phone, e-mail. We went back this May for the wedding. Invitations were distributed, everything was ready. Since hum log USA mein thay, mari engagement nahi hoi thee but maray in-laws say baat cheet bilkul aisay he thee jaisay usually rishtay hotay hain. Shadi kee sab tiyarian ho chuky thee. Mari 2 days baad engagment thee aur phir 2 dino baad mayoun, mehndi nikaah, baraat aur valima. Nikah kay maslay par garbar ho gaye. Wo log Catholics hain aur hum LDS. Uss kee family ko bhi pata thaa aur mari family ko bhi sara pata thaa. Par ain time par sahdi toot gaye doosray logon k interfere karnay say. Maray abu nay inkaar kar diya. Uss k ghar walon nay waisay hee poocha k aap log toh udhar say aaey ho, iss liye hum nay Nikaah ka arrangement kar liya hai aur Nikaah Catholic Church mein ho gaa. Maray abu nay kaha nahi Nikaah larki walon ka hai so hamaray church main ho gaa. Maray in-laws nay kaha k hum logon nay arrange kar diya hai. Iss baat par thori c garma garmi ho gaye. abu nay kaha k hum log aap ko kal bataye gay. Lakin subha hotay he abu nay maray in-laws ko phone kar k inkar kar diya. Un ko dobara baat karnay ka moqa he nahi diya. Wo log dobara kafi baar aaey par maray ami abu un say baat karnay/sun-nay ko tiyar he nahi thay. Rishaty daron nay buhat kaam kharab kiya. Ab abu iss choti c baat ko lay kar inkar kar toh aaye hain. Par yaar aap log socho k itni c baat par koi rishtay kharab torta hai. Ab mari family ko yeah hai k I don’t have any contact with him, but I do. Kuch log mujhay ghalat samjhay gay, but guys please mari jaga apnay aap ko rakh kar mujhay jawab dayna. Ab wo log dobara contact karna chah rahay hain, main apnay ghar walon ko kaisay manao? He’s still waiting for me. I was in high school and he has been waiting for me since then. Mari apnay parents say taqreeban 1 month pahlay iss topic par baat hoi thee and the said aisa kabhi nahi ho sakta. Please mujhay batao main apnay ami abu say kia kahoon, main kia karoon k wo maan jaey. Fiance’ is handsome, educated but still trying to establish. He does have a good job but not great, but I’m happy. Woh baychara tab say intezar kar raha hai jab k hamara US mein anay ka koi ata pata he nahi thaa. But he’s struggling. My parents used to like him so much especially my mom aur ab woh uss ka naam tak layna pasand nahi kartein. Please kuch aisa batao k ami abu maan jaey.
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
No zobia .. its because he is catholic and she is LDS (I am not sure what that means) christian.
Meethishona, in this scenario your father is at fault. it is clear that religious difference was not the issue as both parties were aware of that from beginning, it was religious ceremony (choice of church) that became an issue .. and even in choosing the church, your ex-inlaws were right as everyone would pick their own if arrangement is upto them (just a matter of convenience).
Now what can you do? I am not sure. Talk to them maybe or have an elder of your family talk to your dad
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
Agree with TLK
also, try minimising contact with interfering relatives.. i know when you go back to pakistan, regardless of how much u have organised before hand, there will be one person at least who will ruin everything.
I dunno what it is with relatives... seriously
khair, thats an issue dear to my heart so i will not bring that into this..
Id talk to ur dad without getting too emotional and understand him. And then ask him how he would like things done if he'd like to go ahead at all. Tell him how much this means to you... and see how it goes from there.
U know, for you it was which church to have the nikkah... other marriages break due to what khana should be served!
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
Your father knew about it all the time and he never raised any objections about it and now he is doing it cauz of your relatives. I thinks its not rational. If you have already invested so much time in this relationship than just go ahead and do it. Cauz if you will not than it will totally mess up your future life.
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
the truth is that your father is wrong. he is creating a storm out of tea cup.
its a complicated situation , i think you shd marry him with or without willingness of your family but then again that is wrong . if you do that you'll be living with a burden on your soul for the rest of your life and hurting parents always hits you back really hard .
you will have to convince your father and marry him with his blessings that is the best option.
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
I cant believe i read all of this urdu (WOW) at 7 AM (wow again) and understood it (triple wow) AND I feel bad for the O.p (quadruple wow).
im sorry meethisona, dont know waht to tell u...after all this time, the rishta broke over nothing? u sure there wasn't anything there to begin with? that hte parents know something u dont?
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
That was a tough read ( reading roman urdu without any gaps) but woo hoo i managed it!
Ok this situation is very tough and very unfair. I think you need to explain to your parents that you are sealing a bond in the eyes of God, its the same God for everyone, it doesnt matter what type of denomination you are.
Tell him that this is what will make you happy, and his family are willing to come to compromise.
If your closer to your mother then explain to her first maybe!
Are you sure there are no other issues? because this seems to have spiraled out of control! especially as your father knew before hand of the different denominations you were from!
Re: Rishta got broken one week before the wedding.
all i can tell you, behind this there is another reason to break this up, thats after when you dad said he will inform them next day, during this he must have though well. and being judgemental, i can say, it looks your father has eye on some other option already which may be of same sect and not struggling. and there will be many in your sect to offer temselves for marry for US prospects.
now if you stuck for yourself, that will be good for you. dont just let it go. things may have got worst now, but could be improved slowly.
that if you only know this person you love, i mean really know that he is the one for you, then dont let it go.
^ The poster is Christian but of Pakistani heritage; from what I understand Christian Pakistanis use the term nikkah as well to refer to their religious wedding ceremony.
well they knew that from the beginning that he is catholic. whereas she also mentioned that her parents, especially her mother used to like him. but after they moved abroad (they they explored other possibilities and met new ppl) they changed their mind that we can do better for our daughter than this tut-poonjia.
ps. donald trump’s daughter is marrying rich jew, and she is also converting. some ppl just see $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
