rishta from a divorced man

[soconfused]

Re: rishta from a divorced man

@STA

First thing first, what is your preference of an ideal age gap? In my opinion, 4 to 7 years of age difference is ok. Two years of age difference is too low unless you are Mahnoor Balooch kind of lady. She still looks younger. He is possible doctor and currently divorcee, you know what things happen with great people too(give him benefit of doubt). In my opinion, if potential spouse that much cool/compatible/financial stable/good looking/belongs to good family/doctor then you should not care about his whole past. You should take your parents in confidence and inform them latest development. Parents are good in analyzing complicated matter and will ask him reason of his divorce. I also understand your concern regarding faults in past relationship of this guy. Again, you have to have trust him and give him a chance.

Second opinion: Do Istekhara.

aaye haye. itni wadi post kardi mainay.

thank you for your advice. I’m definitely going to do istikhara. As far as age difference goes, I used to be okay with up to 8 but have realized (quickly) that it poses difficulty considering most guys 8 years older than me aren’t too keen on having a LDR/no kids/being married to a student for another 4+ years of their lives. It seems that my upper threshold seems to be 6 years. That being said, I have no real age restrictions as long as we’re compatible and the guy is mature enough to handle being married.

I wish I could tell my parents but they’re going to say no immediately without giving this guy a chance (something that I don’t think is fair). It’s the mentality that they’re daughter “could do better” when I don’t think (even from a religious standpoint) that I’m “settling” by marrying someone divorced in any way. I’d rather they look at the guy for his character/personality/etc and then decide if all that is “outdone” by his previous marital status. And who knows, God forbid, I could be one of those divorcees; I would be devastated if I had to constantly be told/reminded that the only men that I “deserve” now are those that are also divorced/widowed.

@desispirit

listen sister.

when a desi man is divorced, it is quite obvious that he would have done something fishy for the divorce to have happened. Desi women do their best to not get divorced, and in 99% of the cases it is only due to the desi husband fault.

you better run away, and run away ASAP!!

you can’t be for real. I’m a girl and I can def say I know many many examples where the girl majorly effed up despite the guy trying to save the marriage.