Can you share your rishta experiences or any stories you have?. Like any strange incidents that happened or any hilarious event that took place.
For those currently in the rishta hunt, tell about any horrible or near perfect rishta you had. Doing this because I want to know what happens sometimes in finding rishtas.
Re: Rishta experiences
I was late for my own barat who were meant to be meet me at a certain time. In my defence Lahore;s traffic is atrocious.
Re: Rishta experiences
When my husband and his family came to see me, I joined everyone for the initial Gupshup and then went upstairs when it was time for dinner. Little did I know that his granny followed me upstairs. I went upstairs and jumped onto my bed all excited like Madhuri Dixit and giggled into my pillow- I turned around and saw his granny smiling with a naughty twinkle in her eye. She then took me downstairs to join everyone for dinner and at this point, my dulhe mian walked out to see where dadi jaan was- she then held both our hands and started teasing us about being the people who'd add to the family numbers- i.e. bachay! I was the deepest shade of red while my other half was giggling away, enjoying it all, especially watching me cringe. When my FIL came out to see where his mother and son where, the granny changed as if she'd been giving us duas.
Sweet and funny (afterwards) but very, very, verrrrrrry embarrassing!
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This lady stalked my cousin in the grocery store for a while before following her home and forcing her to allow her inside. Her mother couldn’t say no, so she let the lady in and offered her chai etc before rejecting her proposal for her ‘daacter’ son 
The lengths people to go for rishtas lol
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I met him off of Tinder last year. We spent the next 8 months hanging out, getting to know each other, unbeknownst to our parents. I told my parents about him on January 2nd, he told his on January 2nd. The next weekend everyone met and about a month later we were married.
The end.
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I met him off of Tinder last year. We spent the next 8 months hanging out, getting to know each other, unbeknownst to our parents. I told my parents about him on January 2nd, he told his on January 2nd. The next weekend everyone met and about a month later we were married.
The end.
People marry off of Tinder?
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ya, its just cause of those goro logo that people think its just a hookup app, I have met/talked to plenty of women off minder/muzmatch as well.
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Tinder eh 
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Yep. I got married off of Tinder to someone I would have never met otherwise and he works for the same company as me. One of my bff's also met her husband on Tinder the year before me. It can work.
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Interesting! Is your husband desi?
Yep. I got married off of Tinder to someone I would have never met otherwise and he works for the same company as me. One of my bff's also met her husband on Tinder the year before me. It can work.
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Interesting! Is your husband desi?
Yeah, he's Indian/Muslim.
My friend is Tamil/Hindu and married the same as her.
People have such a skewed view of Tinder. It's what you make of it though.
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My wife and I were looking for a rishta for her brother. Went to see a nice family and their daughter. Didn't think it was a good match.
4 years later we were still looking. Went to a different town to see another prospect.
Halfway through the meeting, realized it was the same family from 4 years ago. They realized it too. Both pretended otherwise.
Talked politely for a while and left. Very embarrassing.
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I got dumped after first phone call. She didn't even want to see my photo.
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Rishta hunts are just difficult and awkward by nature. I am currently searching for my younger brother. It gets very awkward when a family wants to know every little detail abt my brother causing us to exchange loads of msgs for several days and THEN finally share the girls pic (totally understandable. I would do the same for my daughter). But after all that communication you have to say no based only on a pic and it stinks :( it's like having to breakup and I don't like being the bad guy. But just due to my "yes ma'am" nature I can't force my bro to marry someone who he feels zero attraction to or someone 50lbs heavier than him. Tough spot to be in.
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So I am currently in the Rishta hunt, Although I have found someone that I like and am talking too but not sure where that will lead because of my insanely out of touch parents but lets go down memory lane shall we. I could probably blog this but I'm bored so lets give it ago.
24 Med school student, desi, she was pretty and down to earth, but I want someone more settled down, I know with clincials in a couple years and than residency, not to mention the mountain of debt that will eventually come along. I dont mind the debt honestly but I would like to spend time with my wife to be. I just talked to her on the phone and we both naturally parted/stopped responding to each other. I got introduced to her through an uncle at a masjid
26, Iraqi, Project manager (PMP) girl, this girl was hot, she was a sushi, her dad is apparently a non practicing shia, I met her online, she had a great personality, she lived in another state, so I didn't meet her, but we talked for about a month, I told my parents about her and they went all racist on me and be like no Arabs and there better not be any shia members in there immediate family. This is where I started learning about what my parents really wanted me to marry. When I first asked they were like, oh..."just a girl that is muslim and is educated." They never really added these clauses/addendums, but any ways I continue on.
26 lawyer from new york, I liked the girls pictures but when we skyped, I learned those pictures were old/slightly photoshoped and she gained a couple of pounds (like 50). so on account of not being 100% upfront with pics I tend to break things off.
24 Lawyer from Ohio, she was really pretty as well, but her pictures that the rishta auntie sent me were all face shots (warning sign), so straight away went to skype and found out her pictures werent accurate either. She was also heavier as well. (I am in shape and expect the same btw, so I'm not being hypocritical...just fyi)
23 business woman from California, This didn't work out cause of the fact she'd been in a serious relationship before and I havent dated in my life ever, looking for someone whose is as chaste as me, like talking to guys to get married, thats normal but getting physical is a no no. Met her online
27 Dentist from NY, she was crazy I think, she wanted to add me on Facebook and Instagram right away, although I do understand why, it should be down the road, not the first thing you talk about. But I guess she doesn't want to waste/time cut to the chase, so I guess it makes sense in hindsight but probably to straightforward for me.
28 Marketing Lady- she drinks and parties, plus if my dad saw what she wear's on the daily he would have an aneurysm.
25 Accountant - This girl was going pretty good, I think I fell in love with her, I went to meet her and everything but her parents said no to me, apparently I didn't make enough and they didin't like my job. It's not a doctor/lawyer/engineer.
All of this within a couple of months too...
There are more, but heck...i'm tired of writing now, Most of the girls I do meet online will either ghost fade/stop talking. At first I didn't think it would be hard to get married. Find a girl that you have stuff in common with and get married. Simple right? Wrong...
It's later when I find out my rents have there own ideas, as well as the girl rents have there own ideas as well. Not to mention the several standards/deal breakers that each person has, add attraction/personality into the mix and you effectively weed out 90% of the potential wife pool. How romantic. /s
Re: Rishta experiences
Tinder can work. I've met folks. Turn it on and use it when traveling to bigger cities with large desi populations and it's dude after dude you find. A lot of Muslim guys are on it. Scored so many local dates living in a more college town remote area where meeting Muslims is hard. Didn't work out with anyone, but these apps localize to your existing location, so it's easier to meet people.
Muzmatch and minder are also great. Another one is Dil Mil - just desis and you can filter per your religion. Big common site for desi Shias and Ismailis and Christians etc since they are looking for someone ethnic but the same religion.
These apps are free. So it attracts desis.
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So I am currently in the Rishta hunt, Although I have found someone that I like and am talking too but not sure where that will lead because of my insanely out of touch parents but lets go down memory lane shall we. I could probably blog this but I'm bored so lets give it ago.
24 Med school student, desi, she was pretty and down to earth, but I want someone more settled down, I know with clincials in a couple years and than residency, not to mention the mountain of debt that will eventually come along. I dont mind the debt honestly but I would like to spend time with my wife to be. I just talked to her on the phone and we both naturally parted/stopped responding to each other. I got introduced to her through an uncle at a masjid
26, Iraqi, Project manager (PMP) girl, this girl was hot, she was a sushi, her dad is apparently a non practicing shia, I met her online, she had a great personality, she lived in another state, so I didn't meet her, but we talked for about a month, I told my parents about her and they went all racist on me and be like no Arabs and there better not be any shia members in there immediate family. This is where I started learning about what my parents really wanted me to marry. When I first asked they were like, oh..."just a girl that is muslim and is educated." They never really added these clauses/addendums, but any ways I continue on.
26 lawyer from new york, I liked the girls pictures but when we skyped, I learned those pictures were old/slightly photoshoped and she gained a couple of pounds (like 50). so on account of not being 100% upfront with pics I tend to break things off.
24 Lawyer from Ohio, she was really pretty as well, but her pictures that the rishta auntie sent me were all face shots (warning sign), so straight away went to skype and found out her pictures werent accurate either. She was also heavier as well. (I am in shape and expect the same btw, so I'm not being hypocritical...just fyi)
23 business woman from California, This didn't work out cause of the fact she'd been in a serious relationship before and I havent dated in my life ever, looking for someone whose is as chaste as me, like talking to guys to get married, thats normal but getting physical is a no no. Met her online
27 Dentist from NY, she was crazy I think, she wanted to add me on Facebook and Instagram right away, although I do understand why, it should be down the road, not the first thing you talk about. But I guess she doesn't want to waste/time cut to the chase, so I guess it makes sense in hindsight but probably to straightforward for me.
28 Marketing Lady- she drinks and parties, plus if my dad saw what she wear's on the daily he would have an aneurysm.
25 Accountant - This girl was going pretty good, I think I fell in love with her, I went to meet her and everything but her parents said no to me, apparently I didn't make enough and they didin't like my job. It's not a doctor/lawyer/engineer.
All of this within a couple of months too...
There are more, but heck...i'm tired of writing now, Most of the girls I do meet online will either ghost fade/stop talking. At first I didn't think it would be hard to get married. Find a girl that you have stuff in common with and get married. Simple right? Wrong... It's later when I find out my rents have there own ideas, as well as the girl rents have there own ideas as well. Not to mention the several standards/deal breakers that each person has, add attraction/personality into the mix and you effectively weed out 90% of the potential wife pool. How romantic. /s
I believe when finding a wife it should be 80 percent your idea and 20 percent your parent's idea. The iraqi sounded the best here, you should have gone for her. Even maybe gone to visit her. But if you're gonna be living with your parents after marriage then it was probably best that you parted ways. For the first one, Med students typically let the stress of med school get to them, that along with the thousands of dollars of debt makes it good that you avoided it.
I'm curious, assuming that you live in the states from the above information and after this many failures why haven't your parents or yourself decided to import a wife from home. Have you at least looked?. If you do, try not dangling a green card in front of their eyes.
Re: Rishta experiences
I believe when finding a wife it should be 80 percent your idea and 20 percent your parent's idea. The iraqi sounded the best here, you should have gone for her. Even maybe gone to visit her. But if you're gonna be living with your parents after marriage then it was probably best that you parted ways. For the first one, Med students typically let the stress of med school get to them, that along with the thousands of dollars of debt makes it good that you avoided it.
I'm curious, assuming that you live in the states from the above information and after this many failures why haven't your parents or yourself decided to import a wife from home. Have you at least looked?. If you do, try not dangling a green card in front of their eyes.
In a perfect world that's what my parents would have liked, marry me off to a cousin and or cousins daughter from pakistan. Unfortunately, I dont want someone from there. My urdu isn't the best and i'm the type of person that makes alot of pop culture references and that stuff would go over their heads. So I'm only looking for someone from here and most girls here and are also looking for that. (Almost every profile I visit has "please only someone from US/CAN"). I'm not the type to dangle citizenships/money in front of people. It's usually the last thing I mention.
But anyways, I also don't think all those times I talked to girls were "failures", more like it just didn't work out cause of other circumstances, I'm sure girls have stopped talking to me cause of either something I said or they didn't like something about me. It happens.
I know most girls don't want to live with the inlaws, and thats perfectly reasonable/understandable. I do plan on living with my parents for at least the first couple years just so we can save up/pay whatever we need off to buy a house or something cause renting is a waste of money. Some women want to move out right away and have there independence but I have also talked to women that are okay with staying with in laws, so that's not really a point of contention.
But I do wonder about debt and marriage, I have talked to some really amazing girls as well but they have 200-300K in debt (residency doctors, physical therapists, pharmacists in there late 20's), they havent started working yet but that number kind of scares me.
Re: Rishta experiences
In a perfect world that's what my parents would have liked, marry me off to a cousin and or cousins daughter from pakistan. Unfortunately, I dont want someone from there. My urdu isn't the best and i'm the type of person that makes alot of pop culture references and that stuff would go over their heads. So I'm only looking for someone from here and most girls here and are also looking for that. (Almost every profile I visit has "please only someone from US/CAN"). I'm not the type to dangle citizenships/money in front of people. It's usually the last thing I mention.
But anyways, I also don't think all those times I talked to girls were "failures", more like it just didn't work out cause of other circumstances, I'm sure girls have stopped talking to me cause of either something I said or they didn't like something about me. It happens.
I know most girls don't want to live with the inlaws, and thats perfectly reasonable/understandable. I do plan on living with my parents for at least the first couple years just so we can save up/pay whatever we need off to buy a house or something cause renting is a waste of money. *Some women want to move out right away and have there independence but I have also talked to women that are okay with staying with in laws, so that's not really a point of contention. *
But I do wonder about debt and marriage, I have talked to some really amazing girls as well but they have 200-300K in debt (residency doctors, physical therapists, pharmacists in there late 20's), they havent started working yet but that number kind of scares me.
They may be ok with staying with in-laws now, but when it happens, and your parents seem kind of overbearing (no offense), you'll be in for a world of tug and war with both parties. Yeah renting seems like a waste, but it may save your (and your potential wife's) sanity. Just some food for thought. There's also a sense of freedom to not have to answer to your parents (or someone else's) after taking such a big step (ie marriage). JMO but I was living alone before marriage.
The debt/marriage thing... if it's school debt (ie, doctor, lawyer, etc) you better believe that they'll be earning way more eventually to pay it off and have more than enough left over to live comfortably. But the debt thing is tricky because you really have to love the person to take on that burden in the beginning.
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#achasorry :D**