Re: Rishta Demands
lol do you have sisters, yusuf? Your concern might be right, but your choice of words is extremely poor. Every parent thinks their daughter is worth a million. That doesn’t mean that haq mehr is a girl’s fair market value. If you’re confused about the concept of mehr, please see a molvi and clarify the significance behind it.
Different families have different norms. In my family, haq mehr is usually a set amount of gold that is given to the bride at nikah and it is hers to keep. Why gold? Because historically it’s seen as a good investment. It keeps up with inflation and if you were to sell it down the road, you’d get something a little more than 32 Rs. These days you can’t even buy a good plate of gol gappay with 32 Rs. It’s ridiculous that some families think it is a sufficient amount of “security” for a girl.
Now most new brides don’t sell their gold jewelry right away. It stays in the family, so to speak. I also know of a few examples where the husband/his family went through financial difficulty and the girl offered to sell her jewels to help them out. Also, why are you forgetting that a ton of desi girls work nowadays and they aren’t so dependent on the guy for financial security. In fact, it is possible that she earns more than her husband in some cases.
I agree with you that people who decide on haq mehr based on cultural norms or showoff purposes are doing it with the wrong intention. Are there people (on both girl and guy’s side) who are greedy and looking to make a profit out of any situation? Yes! Of course there are. But that’s not the majority.
Since you pointed out that haq mehr should be an amount affordable by the husband “at the time of nikah”, I just wanted to add that just like non-desis save their six month salary (or something along those lines) for an engagement ring, desi guys are also supposed to be saving up for haq mehr (within reason). Just like if you were planning a big purchase like a car or a house, you’d take some time out to plan it well and set some funds aside, marriage is a big commitment and you should be preparing ahead for the changes it brings.