How long has it now been that you haven't heard from him? And how much time is that without any contact compared to the last couple of weeks when you guys were talking regularly. What I mean is , is the time that's elapsed now, longer or shorter than the time between conversations you've been having on a regular basis?
Me and him are talking. He is just not calling my parents. He contacted me today.
He is slightly less enthusiastic than before, but still contacting me off his own accord.
Some people will say that it's odd he hasn't responded yet...considering you guys have been talking for a month. Some will tell you they don't get a good feeling. Others may tell you that it's a good thing and that it can mean he's discussing the matter with his family.
***The thing is, Inspiron, you can come up with the SAME possibilities as to why he hasn't given you an answer yet on your own. But the guessing is not going to make anything happen any faster. Discuss the situation with your parents....maybe you guys can come up with a time frame for how long you should wait for a response. But do continue your usual routine and keep yourself busy with positive activities. You did have a life before you started interacting with this guy and that shouldn't change.
Me and him are talking. He is just not calling my parents. He contacted me today.
He is slightly less enthusiastic than before, but still contacting me off his own accord.
directly asking him why he hasn't asked your parents for your hand is too extreme? i would think that would take away any kind of mystery, then again i have less experience in this so maybe some of the happily married members can tell us if this would work or not.
May be you can voice your concern to him by politely saying that your parents were asking where things were progressing with you two? You can discuss with him without pressurising him and you can convince him that he can discuss with you if there is anything... If he feels ok to discuss with you, he might become a bit open with you (e.g. dissenting voices in his family etc.)... It all depends on how open he would like to be with you regarding the matter and how long is he willing to linger on the matter...
Just wait it out.......trying to be too smart and trying to get the answer too quickly could cause issues......just wait it out...
and your parents are right.......don't talk to him during this period......
Just wait it out.......trying to be too smart and trying to get the answer too quickly could cause issues......just wait it out...
and your parents are right.......don't talk to him during this period......
Word. This man has got it. See you never go wrong when you listen to the guys on GS.
Guys who are saying dont talk to him.....so even when he contacts me just ignore it?
NO...if he contacts you....you just talk along.....don't 'attempt' anything.......the period of time is critical.....and the likelihood of messing things up is quite high.......the more you talk...more chances of the 'talk' being misconstrued for other things.......your parents aren't stupid (contrary to what many here will try to suggest to you)....
NO...if he contacts you....you just talk along.....don't 'attempt' anything.......the period of time is critical.....and the likelihood of messing things up is quite high.......the more you talk...more chances of the 'talk' being misconstrued for other things.......your parents aren't stupid (contrary to what many here will try to suggest to you)....
Yes this all make sense to me. I agree i dont want to have any sort of 'The talk' with him and i understand time is crucial however two issues pop into my mind.
my parents said not to even respond to him if he contacts me.
my dad will text him on saturday, im scared this guy will think oh **** they want as to get married ASAP without even getting to know eachother, so in a way i want to contact him first and be look just put my parents out their misery and say your fam liked me so we can get to know eachother with their blessing this does not mean we are bound for life.
You just let him know that your parents would like to know from him where things stand between the two of you in order for you to comfortably keep in touch with you.
You should be clear and straightforward with him from the very begining. Don't leave any space for any confusion or misunderstandings.
Yes this all make sense to me. I agree i dont want to have any sort of 'The talk' with him and i understand time is crucial however two issues pop into my mind.
my parents said not to even respond to him if he contacts me.
my dad will text him on saturday, im scared this guy will think oh **** they want as to get married ASAP without even getting to know eachother, so in a way i want to contact him first and be look just put my parents out their misery and say your fam liked me so we can get to know eachother with their blessing this does not mean we are bound for life.
It will be rude not to respond to him.. He might think there is a NO from your side...
Hopefully he will talk sense to your dad... So dun worry about it... Guys can linger things on with the girls but they can't take the elders and parents non-seriously... Hopefully he will advise him the situation and INSHA ALLAH you will be positively relieved :)
It will be rude not to respond to him.. He might think there is a NO from your side...
Hopefully he will talk sense to your dad... So dun worry about it... Guys can linger things on with the girls but they can't take the elders and parents non-seriously... Hopefully he will advise him the situation and INSHA ALLAH you will be positively relieved :)
INSHA ALLAH! thankyou for your dua!
I hope my dad doesnt scare him....im still tempted to tell him myself as Zareen suggested!
I hope my dad doesnt scare him....im still tempted to tell him myself as Zareen suggested!
I know there is always this temptation... many of Guppans here try to stop you from asking him directly... but I think the way he can communicate with you frankly and honestly, he cannot communicate with your dad coz of the friendliness you both have developed.... So you can try communicating with him directlty... and at least inform him well in advance that your dad might be contacting him anytime soon so that he thinks about his repsonse well in time and do not mess up with communication with ur dad... Loads of duas for you... Hope things work well for you... We girls are stuck up in such rishta related situations :( and all of us are going through some sort of drama :(
my parents said not to even respond to him if he contacts me. 2. my dad will text him on saturday, im scared this guy will think oh **** they want as to get married ASAP without even getting to know eachother, so in a way i want to contact him first and be look just put my parents out their misery and say your fam liked me so we can get to know eachother with their blessing this does not mean we are bound for life.
Well may be your parents don't know the frequency of contact you have had with him for past few weeks.........but the point is still there....you just do the hello hi and plain talk........keep it simple.
you don't know what the guy is thinking....and thats why you are all freaked out......you just assumed he will think that or take it negatively or anything.....and based on this assumption you want to have a 'talk'......which might make him edgy even more.....
so the getting to know or not..that depends on whether the other party even accepts it in the first place......so you don't need to jump to conclusions about what he might be thinking and what his response might be if ur dad says so and so...
im still tempted to tell him myself as Zareen suggested!
Its this temptation which would make you tell him things...and may cause you to say unnecessary things.....so..just chill...