Re: Rishta:confused about where i stand?
Ashy2010:
Even the most independent children are given opinions and views by their family members which is not wrong AT ALL…
Its just that you are being very impatient… but I can understand as I have been through such a situation where after getting a green signal in the initial stages, things just stopped after we went through the waiting periods for like 6 months and in the meantime my whole family kept guessing what could be the reason for this hold… and in the end things just dissolved with a sorry and move on note from the other side (the family was involved from the initial stages and it was purely an arranged thing)… I also wanted to get is cleared in the initial stages whether things were moving ahead or not because I didn’t want to hang in the middle although there was not any other proposal which we planned to take up immediately in place of that proposal… Its really really nerve wrecking…
I advise you to keep your expectations lowest from the guy… If he comes back, you will be the happiest person on the eart INSHA ALLAH… and if Allah wants to give you someone better… he will not come back and you will have to deal with it…
So just relax and have full faith on ALLAH… and always think that there are many other girls going through the same suituation and we all need to be strong and patient… If we like someone, we may not always get him unless and until he is best for us… In order to save you from the disappointment, I advise you to keep your expectations low and think that there might be a NO from his side (I am not making you pessimistic but just want to make it easy for you to let it go if things don’t move ahead according to your desire).
This happens many times in thwe arranged marriages… we get too many proposals where both the parties seem to like each other (whether or not the guy is engaged in interaction with the girl directly or not)… and then the guys side just make the girl’s side wait… If the guy is communicating with the girl in the meantime, girls obviously expect him to clear things.. If the guy is not communicating with the girl, the girl cannot do anything but wait. Since the guy is not the direct contact of girl (like her classfellow, colleague etc), the girl usually keeps guessing on the guy’s side answer when the guy keeps on communicating with the girl but is not saying YES or NO upfront and straight forwadly…
It was quite the opposite in my rishta process… Ppl would send rishtas and stuff and the ppl would come to my house… I was never home to meet any of the guys or their families because I left the decision to my mom and I assumed that they probably know enough about me to propose a rishta. They waited a day or two and we let them know that we weren’t interested. Then comes along this one guy who is my brother’s friend and I am his sister’s friend… tells me he likes me… send rishta and my mom immediately approves because she lovesssssssssss him and always wanted me to marry him. The end.