Rishta blues, bad scene yawr

Notanothergirl · January 7, 2012, 4:54pm

Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr

I completely disagree… most of the things you mentioned like compatibility and “similar values and beliefs” don’t matter a single penny in arranged relationships. Mostly because there is not nearly enough interaction to determine such things. The most important things are finances and the compatibility of the parents issuing the rishta… if the parents like each other that’s usually good enough…
As for all the “the money belongs to the wife” posters… honestly, as true as that is… many women in our culture/community have no idea about this. They will give in to whatever their husband/parents say. There is no concept of financial independence in our culture… although this is something that requires some awareness and the potential husbands have to be more honest and fair in terms of not trying to usurp money from their wives. In general this requires the elimination of these “cash cow” type marriages, that don’t even really work in the end anyway.

The parents just saying “OK” to the other family because the money is right and they get along with the other party’s parents despite the fact that the couple doesn’t even know if they have the same values and beliefs?! That is the old school way of doing arranged marriages and to be honest would be considered borderline jahil these days. Ive seen so many people around me who have gotten arranged marriage and were given the the time to actually talk to the other person privately and see if they are on the same page . Even though the couple may not have the year/s to fully evaluate and “determine” EVERYTHING about the other person like other couples, they do have the time to talk about the basics (weeks or a couple of months or so, whatever the families deem appropriate). I do agree with what you are saying about women not being aware of their financial freedom however I think that more and more women now know that they have financial rights (especially the ones that live abroad and or work). However I do think that at the end of the day whether it is a man or a woman, if two people really “ghar basana chahtein hain” then they will do whatever they can to make it work- financially and otherwise. They won’t sit around and ponder about their financial rights. Lol.