Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
I was in the same situation the girl had a good job and could easily buy a house in a couples of years. I am out of work so my dad tried to force me to marry this girl but I wasn't attracted to her so it went on for 6 months until my dad gave up and said no to girls family!
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
Yap..so your friend should refuse this rishta because i tell you life isn't that simple as we dream about it. His financial condition is not well..understandable..but what is HE doing to improve upon it. For instance, is he taking some excel courses? Is he applying for better jobs? and things like that. You see, i tell you i was somewhat in similiar position. I broke with my ex 9 months ago. I was not in good financial position..but now Alhamdulli'lah..i've lifted up my spiritis and vowed to make my situation better. And in just 3 months..i was able to correct everything. I am getting good job offers..i am finishing my degree by going to night classes. So he should wait for marriage eh.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
I completely disagree... most of the things you mentioned like compatibility and "similar values and beliefs" don't matter a single penny in arranged relationships. Mostly because there is not nearly enough interaction to determine such things. The most important things are finances and the compatibility of the parents issuing the rishta... if the parents like each other that's usually good enough.... As for all the "the money belongs to the wife" posters... honestly, as true as that is... many women in our culture/community have no idea about this. They will give in to whatever their husband/parents say. There is no concept of financial independence in our culture... although this is something that requires some awareness and the potential husbands have to be more honest and fair in terms of not trying to usurp money from their wives. In general this requires the elimination of these "cash cow" type marriages, that don't even really work in the end anyway.
The parents just saying "OK" to the other family because the money is right and they get along with the other party's parents despite the fact that the couple doesn't even know if they have the same values and beliefs?! That is the old school way of doing arranged marriages and to be honest would be considered borderline jahil these days. Ive seen so many people around me who have gotten arranged marriage and were given the the time to actually talk to the other person privately and see if they are on the same page . Even though the couple may not have the year/s to fully evaluate and "determine" EVERYTHING about the other person like other couples, they do have the time to talk about the basics (weeks or a couple of months or so, whatever the families deem appropriate). I do agree with what you are saying about women not being aware of their financial freedom however I think that more and more women now know that they have financial rights (especially the ones that live abroad and or work). However I do think that at the end of the day whether it is a man or a woman, if two people really "ghar basana chahtein hain" then they will do whatever they can to make it work- financially and otherwise. They won't sit around and ponder about their financial rights. Lol.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
Ok, so my opinions here may differ from everyone else's but I will just say it.
If your friend is not attracted to the girl and can't see her as his wife in the future and is not willing to get to know her - THEN SAY NO.
However, if he is saying NO because his financial situation is not good, while the girl's is, then I actually think that's a pretty dumb move. Finance is a very very changing variable in your life. He should definitely look for jobs and try to better his situation BUT as long as he is honest to the girl and her family about it, and they are still ok with it, then I don't see why your friend should say No. He should give this proposal a chance if there is potential and then leave the rest upto Allah swt.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
If he is still not over his ex, then let his parents know he needs some time. It's about communicating properly really with our parents. I am sure they are willing to give him time.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
The guy saidd he would not kick her out of bed. I think it could be the start of a great romance.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
I like the way you think.
I like thinking every so often.
Re: Rishta blues, bad scene yawr
He does have a point though, romantic notions aside, marriages, especially among the wealthy, are often politically and financially motivated. That said, is your friend going to be happy with her if she somehow loses the money? Basing it just off of wealth is not smart.