Rishta Aunty Culture

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
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Pakistanis living in West have serious issue and problem on Rishta Aunties…

What is job of Rishta Aunty?

What do they actually do?

How do they become Rishta Aunty?

What is your experience with such Aunties?

Do you appreciate Rishta aunty culture?

Are you one of them?

How do you feel?

Do you make money on matchmaking?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

All I can say is 'ye ik kaifiyat ka naam hai, jo kabhi bhi kisi pe bhi taari ho sakti hai'

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

ye life1 me post karo na. Jaha log jaantay hain rishta auntion ko?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

Is it only Pakistanis living in the west? Pakistanis living in Pakistan don't have any issues with matchmakers?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

:hehe:

What are common problems?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

Pakistanis living in Pakistan really don't know such aunties.. udhar rishty kay liye auntion ki zarorat nahi hoti hia.. yeh aunty concept is totally indian hia.... ya phir Western Pakistanis ko pata hia...

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

Highly disagree with this, mahool. Where I come from, rishta aunties are very common. A lot of people utilize them once their girls start going to college.

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

No Rishta karane waliyan were always there. May be in Indian and western culture these creatures become prominent because these people are generally alergic of cousin marriages. I think you are getting what I mean to say.

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par main to har dosray roz life 1 main rishta auntion ka hi qisa sun raha hota hon.. kissi pakistani poster kay monh say to kabhi rona dhona nahi suna jo Pakistan say post karta ho....

Muqa aur Madz... I got it.... par meray sawal ka jawab chaiye... iss filed main kitni paisay ban jatay hian.... aur kis hisab say per meeting kay paisay charge karti hian?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

I wouldn't generalize so much to say that "these people are generally allergic of cousin marriages." I am going to step out of this thread now. You guys are making me mad.

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

ofoh… naraz mat ho… :mirch:

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

:mirch: sometimes they are allergic and sometimes when you achieve high status then it becomes difficult to adjust in your roots.

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I don't know, but I know you can't be a good match maker.

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

I never claim to be one… :vivo:

Madad karna buri baat nahi…

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

MQ, I think what you wanted to say was that sometimes when you experience life differently, you may find it difficult to adjust to the old ways that you have left behind. Or you may not find compatibility in someone who doesn’t understand your take on life because they haven’t experienced similar challenges.

Not every Pakistani in the west has achieved “high status” and not every Pakistani has marriage-able cousins within their age range that they can be married off to. So please let’s not make assumptions here.

I am not mad. I just find it surprising when I see a ridiculous comment from someone whom I hold in a higher standard.

As for the topic on hand, there are two types of matchmakers (whether in Pak or somewhere abroad): professional matchmakers (who charge a fee) and self-proclaimed matchmakers (jo ghar baithe rishtay suggest karti hain and either don’t charge a fee or charge a nominal amount).

I have cousins in Pakistan who are going through this process, and I guess they must be allergic to cousin marriages :rolleyes: so they have decided to enlist the help of rishta aunties. There are local rishte waalis (and waalas, mind you! Men are in this business too). Their reach is limited to local areas and they’ll suggest a few profiles to you for a fee. A lot of guy families back home are fond of “taar-ing” girls so you’ll meet 2-3 families and it likely won’t go anywhere. And then if the rishta waali has more suggestions, she’ll ask for more money. These local matchmakers usually accompany you during the meetings.

Then there are the large marriage bureaus that you can register with. They have online databases (with or without pictures). Their reach is more widespread (so for instance they might have international rishtas too if that’s what you’re looking for), and with that, their fee is also much higher. There is a registration fee and that’s usually for a limited time (a couple months to a year). There is no fee for meetings. But there is a final (large) fee if you find a match through them.

Some of the reasons why people dislike matchmakers are:

  • They take zero interest in assessing the clients they take on. So if someone is previously divorced and doesn’t disclose that, it’s not the matchmaker’s headache. The onus is on you to find that out.
  • The matchmakers mostly just care for money and would try to push you for any rishta, whether it meets your requirements or not.
  • The matchmakers usually tend to have more female clients than male and they’ll circulate and popularize the girls among all male clients (sometimes against the girls’ wishes)
  • And if there is a guy with an unreasonable demand, the matchmaker will push the girl’s family to accept and compromise. Their reasoning will be that the girls in our culture have to sacrifice and if you keep waiting, your daughter will get aged and you’ll have more trouble finding a good rishta. The matchmaker will almost never tell the guy that he is wrong and he should lower his expectations.
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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

What is the role of social network media in finding match? Success story?

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

add to the list:

Some matchmakers have this God syndrome; they think they are doing you such a huge favour by getting you connected with a guy's family. If you say anything to the matchmaker that they don't want to hear, then you're in big trouble. You have to make sure you're always in their good graces, warna they can defame you in your circle by spreading lies about you.

So you know if the girl is 24, gori chitti, lambi, patli, MBBS, and the guy is 34, medium height, fat belly, ganja, and working in a medical lab part time, you should be grateful to the matchmaker for such a match made in heaven. Khud se aisa acha match kahan mil sakta tha?

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What are those group matchmaking events organized by community or desi organizations?

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Wrong…it differs from person to person. More than half of the marriages in my close khandan are cousin marriages, but I refused to marry any cousin.
So it simply differs from person to person. You generalize quick and use harsh terms at times when it comes to ppl living outside Pakistan.

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Re: Rishta Aunty Culture

I didn't generalise. I said it happens. I didn't use 100% of such people are allergic of cousin marriages, but tendency against such marriages is more found in India and west. By this I meant that rishta aunties are more required in west and India as compared to Pakistan. Though, the concept is now getting popularity in Pakistan, as general custom of marrying into family is quite relaxed now as compared to few decades back