Re: Rise in Divorce rates
Deebs,
I am familiar with the hadith you’ve quoted and I know that Islam grants women the right to divorce over this reason. But at the same time there is also the hadith where we are urged to reflect over the good traits in our partner when we dislike something in them. For people who are not putting effort into maintaining the relationship, I can not only see how this hadith can be used to promote/justify a careless attitude toward marriage…but a danger in it being acted upon so liberally. Perhaps the woman in the hadith had arrived at this decision after giving the marriage her best shot.
Also…and I say this generally and is not directed at you…but the genders do display double standards. Men are granted the right to marry up to four wives and if a guy were to say that he’s thinking of taking on another wife because he finds the former unattractive and unable to fulfill his needs…women (in general) are likely to rain down on him with responses urging him to see the good in her, to encourage her to maintain herself, to making judgments about his character (pervert, callous, etc), to suggesting that he fast, to advising that he contemplate the downside of polygamy. Again I’m saying this in a general way and I understand that some women are exceptions. But in general, the ease with which women assert this particular hadith you quoted…you will find many women lacking that same level of ease when they are on the “receiving” end.
Just as there is an injunction to polygamy…I see the hadith I mentioned about seeing the good traits in your partner instead of dwelling on what you dislike as an admonishment/injunction to have consideration for your partner as opposed to solely thinking of oneself. I think sometimes we (general statement) zero in on just one or two hadith or verses that suit our desires and don’t look at counter ahadith or the bigger picture…we don’t look at things comprehensively.