From what I have seen, people in our generation don't have a probelm seeking out people from other backgrounds.....however the reason why many interacial marriages don't occur is because of the parents.......many parents I know are totally against marrying someone who is not Pakistani.....for people abroad I think it may be a way of trying to hold onto tradition and culture
I dont know. I know the circle I am in, 50% of the people have married non-pakistanis and it's really not a taboo (anymore). Just recently one of our friends got engaged to a non-paki and none of the parents thought it was a huge deal...
I know deep down some parents would like their kids to marry a desi, just for their sake, but at the end of the day, if the person has good morals and is gonna be good their child, that's what matters the most. Oh, and if they are muslim. That was the one criteria my parents had.
I guess it really depends how important your culture is for you and for your future generations.. I think people mix religion and culture up and i see them as two different things..
Because I want a domesticated wife who will stay at home and not nag me about anything. Boy was I wrong when I realised those aren't desi women. I need a nice Filipino lass.
CM, i really dont appreciate you always making desi women to be some psycho women who cant handle a household.
Im sure you will come across many desi guys on here or maybe out in the real world who have desi wives who do a brilliant job being domesticated or what not.
But, if thats your reasoning for not marrying a desi, so be it. I aint here to discuss whats wrong with desi women.
I was merely here to discuss why we dont venture out more. And would we encourage our children to seek people of any ethnicity.. or not.
The confinement could be, as Guac mentioned, due to the desire to perpetuate desi culture. Perhaps negative stereotypes about other races...upheld by parents....could also play a role.
I think its human nature that we get along well with people who have similar background . But world turning in to a global village and cultural boundaries are blurring . Still it will take some time before we are intellectually developed enough to coexist with any culture without any dispute .
Us desis generally have to put up with a lot of negativity and resistance from back home if we pick someone from a different ethinic background. But yeah, times are changing and people are becoming more accepting. I don't think there should be any issues with it, as long as the man and the lady are compatible, rest can go do one.
Jaanwar, I guess you're right in that sense. As kids, growing up, when we would go back and visit relos, they would always talk about how such and such relo who lives overseas has gone off the rails because they have married a gora or a gori... especially if it were a female relative who had married outside.... and when you're that young and u hear relatives talking like this... u ultimately think its a bad thing... Then u grow up and you realise, how sad these people actually were and how unfortunate you were to get confused by all this..
CM, its sarcasm when you make the comment once or twice. When you're bagging desi women in every thread.. it aint sarcasm. It's childish.
This is one of the few things that I disagree with in my family. And I certainly agree that most of the time it's the parents that restrict our choices. One of my close relatives married an Indian Muslim girl, who had lived in US all her life and none of us would have been able to tell her apart from a Pakistani person til we were told, but it was a HUGE deal to the rest of the family. Funny part is there're no big differences in language, dressing, food, customs etc either- but just the fact that she's not from the same country (whatever that meant- because they had both been born in US).
I can only imagine what happens when one decides to get married to a gora/kala/chinese/whatever-
You are welcome to your opinion but it is not by any means different from any idiotic complaint regarding any gender, family relationship or in laws comment. The day people actually use their brain and realize that no two people are the same and their incessant stupidity on this forums shows them to be incapable of thinking of anybody other than themselves is the day I stop "bagging on desi women in every thread".
CM no two people are the same. Ur right there... but it doesnt mean that people cant be similar or situations cant resemble one another.
I agree with you that coming on here and dissing out inlaws and what not is not a smart idea.. nor is it beneficial to anyone to fret over such issues... unless it is real bad stuff that's going on.
Anyway, you are welcome to your opinion too. But u should jsut be a little cautious of the fact that many people here are married desi women... and others are married to such. Do you really think we all lead such sad lives? Maybe
The way I see it, if parents don't put the effort into teaching their children about culture very much (language/food/clothes etc), then they relaly shouldn't be picky about their children's spouses.
I'm all for being open to other cultures within our religion......i know people who have to get married in a very limited circle and honestly...i feel sorry for them. they really cannot go out of their community for various reasons.
Oh hardly, if you all lead such drama filled lives, I would be shocked. People need to be extremely selfish and it comes out over the internet a lot more.
And by your very own comments, my mother is a desi and so is my sister. If i truly believed what i said would I not be doing them a disservice?
