responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Lifestyle Relationships
1

when a new bride walks into her new home should she be ms nice who does the following :

She wakes up early every morning, dresses up prettily and started with getting tea ready for everyone. She redecorates the house, cooked sumptuous dishes for the family, takes over the domestic accounts, supervises the part-time helps, and tries to become a friend and confidante to her older sister-in-law/ mother in law. She serves everything anyone wanted at any time. And with a smile.

or should she be be herself.

are there any tips on how to approach different family members like when u talk to ur mother in law/ brother in law for the first time what should you say.

in my opinion new bride should be herself and along side be ms nice. one should avoid taking control. whats ur opinion?

2

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

i always stick to 1 opinion always be yourself no need to act infront of family or freinds leave that for hollywood and bollywood and the rest of the woods.... be yourself and you'll live a fruitful life with not just family but with everyone..........:) :)

3

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

^ very well said, just be yourself otherwise all this acting of mrs nice is gonna bite u in the backside

Select One
4

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Well... you should be yourself, and if you are naturally a "Mrs Nice" then thats an added bonus!

5

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

in order for a daughter in law to fully abide by her duties of being caring, the son in law must fulfill his duties.
the person who says that he would like to have his better half be "herself" is a liar.
he cannot make any excuses because all his excuses are a smoke screen of his disintegrity.
he says that he knows a woman leaves her house to move in to the house of the man and his parents and he must be careful in how they let her adjust as a new family member, he is lying to you, unless he also applies it in real life while letting you become his spouse - 'no strings attached' as i heard from somewhere.
so, please marry someone who can accept you and even if he has to change you, he does so, knowing that he trusts you and can respect you equally as you give him respect.
the man who says that woman and man are not in a competition, is a liar too.
he does not fully know what he is saying.
when he will, it will be too late.
so, yes you will do all the home making out of sheer love and care for a man, but if he is unable to acknowledge your honesty and your genuine regard, then it is better for you to not be a daughter in law of his parents and not be a spouse to him.
you should not have to please them, especially if your proposal was made superficially.
a welcoming mother in law and father in law and siblings of the man, will honor you as who you are especially if you are willing to change to adjust reasonably in their family and your own new family, granted that they are welcoming to you.
if the man cannot take a stand for you now, he will never ever be fully able to do so later on, unless he prove it to you and to his parents that he values his future spouse or spouse who he married.
everyone has to do their share in making this work for real contentment and a purity of conscience. Relationships are strengthened when BOTH partners show a pattern of accommodation and commitment, when self disclosure is acknowledged, and rules of fairness in a relationship – of equality and deep regard is vivid to both the woman and the man.
whoever misses out on this feeling or snubs it is a loser.

you have a person of your own. your studies, economic and social growth together with your privacy in your house hold, is your right. you must balance it as a capable young daughter in law and spouse and they must respect that.
sadly, very few in-laws and men and women themselves are that strong to qualify for a noble commitment as accommodating and loving in-laws and as really loving and committed young couple.
it needs a lot of hard work, but if hard work is put in from all sides, then it is the best thing that can ever happen to you.

dushwari

6

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

hahahahahahahahahahahaa, that’s really sad if that’s only what’s expected of her!

IMO a new bride should be taken as she is, its nice to dress up and all, but no point in being fake, esp since she’ll be living there… i mean its good to make an effort t be friendly, dont argue back, dont stay shut in ur room all the time (all the things I gotta work on :bummer: )

7

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Mrs. Saieen
are you Sara?? i was wondering what happened to you-- you use to post beautiful designs and eye make pixs---loved them..

so i suppose you got married--CONGRATS!!!!! did you ever post your pixs...

8

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

^ Hey! Yesh I' got married some time back (January 6th)... :)

9

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

you can act urself to a certain extent.....when u get married ur entering a new family....they might not say anything but 5 months later they might say something or start bickering about it....so its better to adapt urself to their house situation....like not sleeping in late, helping out with chores, etc...and dressing up esp if ur in PK is a big thing...or else ask ur mother in law if not sure what to do.

10

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

ahhhhhh this is so nice...

11

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Better advice could not be given…

However, the new adopting family of the girl should realize that by bringing into the family a girl through marriage, they are acquiring a daughter…And in case their daughter is married or is about to, how would they like their daughter to be welcomed and treated in the house that adopted her?

P.S. And yes, it’s not a typo…I do consider a family that brings in a bahu, is in reality adopting a girl…And since adoption in Islam is forbidden, this is the closest you can come to the definition of adoption in Islam, because under marriage, this adopted daughter through law has certain inalienable, unquestioned rights granted to her through Islam…And one of them is peace of mind…

Can you imagine when the first Muslims must have come across Satti, what would they have thought of it?? Because unlike in Hinduism, the life of a widow in Islam can continue as she sees fit…She can remarry, sell the husband’s property, own it, e.t.c. e.t.c…However, in Hinduism, she is decorated and festooned, set upon the husband’s funeral pyre and set ablaze because when her husband’s life ends, her’s ends alongwith it…Horrible…

So you can see the importance of people like Mahmood Ghaznavi and Aurangzeb…Some very abhorrent practices that were in actuality crimes against humanity had to be confronted…So Islam came in and truly liberated millions of women…Allah :swt:'s Law had to be established to provide rights to everyone…

This is the same thing that the Kuffar use to further their cause, and yet how vicious is their method and how devious their intentions…

Today’s ‘liberated’ and ‘modernized’ Muslim women don’t realize how truly close they are to relinquishing their rights which role models like Ayesha :razi: fought to be upheld even if it meant going to war and leading an army against against one of the Holy Prophet :saw:'s most closest, longest and dearest Sahaba, Hz. Ali (KAW)…

Is it any wonder that those becoming Muslims are 7 out of 10 times a woman…These are woman who have gotten a glimpse of Islam through all the fog of deception…

But in Islam, right are rights, and those that believe in your fight for your rights can join it to provide them…Secure your rights…Fight for them if you have to with whomever…

12

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

someone told me once that jab koi new dulhan bunti hai to after some months logooun ki asliyat samne aa jati hai and they start back biting or start to argue with u and bari b told me baita for one YR wo tum sab sah laina and in the meantime make sure u keep ur husband happy even if he doesnt love u dont fight with insult him back bite about his family. so for first yr of ur marriage do what they say us k baad jab tum chiezoun ko samjh jao to un se narmi se paish aoo and agar koi baat munwani ho to tahamul se munao aur un k bhi views ko suno and samjho wo kya chahte hien phir wo karo jo tumhien thiek lughe, and if any of ur in laws incuding saas sis in law husband insults u dont FIGHT with them just stay quite and ignore thm and let them realise they are making mistake.

13

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

lol , depends on the susraal , what i have learned from my sister's experience , she never woke up early , never made any dishes until now , it's not that we did not teach her anything , or she does not care , it's her susraal like that . she woke up with the rest . she ate with them, most of the times , they went out :)
yet she was herself in many ways .

Historic Thread: 2nd Test @ Headingley, Pakistan STUFF Australia after 15 years
14

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

I have learned that whenever you want to satisfy others you'll end up being unhappy yourself sometimes. People wont always be satisfied with your efforts and some in-laws might create obstacles for you.

I have tried very hard to make my in-laws happy and content but ended up getting very ill cuz of all the pressure I had created for myself.

Now I m just myself - a mix of laid back attitude with being mehmaan nawaz once they visit. My mother in laws isnt very demanding after all so its easy Alhamdulillah

15

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Be wary of setting a precedent - it could come back to bite you in 5 years time, when you can't keep up the routine/tolerance any longer!!!!!!

16

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

And yes - I speak from bitter experience:teary1:

Guppies you met..
17

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Exactly my thoughts! I have seen my sisters and friends going through that and I have just stopped being the nice girl. Not that I have become bad tameez but I am just drawing the lines between what is acceptable for my health - both physical and mental health.

My mother in law and father in law are easy to deal with. But my SIL is mostly looking for new adventures and thats where I have drawn a clear line of distance. A bit sad since I started our relationship as sisters and have turned into a stranger cuz of the way she has dealt with me in the past years. I just hope that she wont start complaining to my husband that I have become cold and distant.

Her haqeeqat majaaz ho jaye
18

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

Follow the Islamic guidelines of treating parents, his or your own.

19

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

^beautifully put.
Be yourself if you think you dont need any improvement. Else there is always room for improvement and my way or high way appraoch often gets one onto the high way. By being on good behaviour you dont become a doormat, its just this that be a little guarded since you are in new environment and dont know every one well, no needs for melodramas.

20

Re: responsibilities of a duaghter in law

in my opinion loog aap ko acha rahnay nahen daitay hum nay bohaat koshish ki but no vain i am talking abt my sis inlaws they r not blongs to welloff family like us but its my sisters love marriage inshallah next month so she is worried abt her future inlaws my BR inlaw is in pressure what to do my sisters SAAS and NAND daily give lecture and create drama infront of my BR inlaw which distrub him and these things also affect their realationship .my sister is very much worried what will happened in future they r badtameez type of ppl not to listen others my BR inlaw is foriegn qualified and quite sensible man but u know daily doze can affect what should my sis do i mean her planning for future:confused: