Re: Religious men
I think the problem has more to do with the misleading aspect prior to marriage. If you don't behave religious before you are married and show no qualms about how your partner dresses and then all of a sudden change when the nikkah is over and 'force' your partner to change as well, that is where the problem begins. It isn't encouragement which DD is talking about, it's pushing and forcing which is what people resent.
If you know someone is not religious from the get go, the smart thing to do would be to find someone on the same/similar spiritual level as you and vice versa. If you don't want to be with someone who is super strict, then you shouldn't marry them either.
People really should be up front about their expectations before marriage, not making it known when it's too late to back out.