With many weddings in our fam coming up - I wanted to ask your guys opinions…
Does Islam require us to NOT take part in CULTURAL activities?
So say you have a segregated wedding and follow all that is required in islam to have a wedding. Is it wrong to do rasms? To have ladies only events with singing and dancing and celebrating? To give gifts to relatives in your joy?
Does it require you only have a simple nikkah in a mosque and a small dinner after with toned down clothing? Does that make you a better muslim?
I think you can take part in cultural activities unless they are things which have been clearly outlined as wrong in Islam. Like killing people :p
Most of the things we do nowadays are wrong in Islam, we pick and choose what parts we want to follow. I don't think you're allowed to dance in Islam (I'm not sure), I've heard singing is only allowed with a dhol and no other instruments e.g. tambourine, when you sing; the songs can have no mention of love, beauty or other haraam things. You can give gifts, out of joy, but not from pressure from someone else.
You do not have to do it in a simple way if you don't want to; but I've noticed it probably prevents sins when you do.
Islam allows you to take part in cultural activities , unless they clash with Allah's law and then we are supposed to follow God's law.
Music is haram,regardless of whether there are men in the event or not.
Islam is a religion of modesty and the middle path but it isn't communism. I believe those who have the means can and should spend within reason,because we live a world where everything is relative. For eg: I make a replica wedding outfit for 75,000 and I feel I'm saving money.For another person 75,000 may be their entire bari budget. I think it's more of how you behave with your status and money that counts as making you a better muslim. If you make someone feel small/unworthy through catty comments or *****y remarks then thats on you. i know some people with alot of money who are extremely humble .
It's not jst weddings people go crazy on , If every pakistani woman didnt invest in every desginer lawn collection **spring and summer **then they'd save money too.Weddings just get the spotlight but we can refrain in alot of areas.That however is a personal choice , not about judging others.
i think some rasams are on the basis of shirk and should be avoided as it is the biggest sin.....
but we're living in a time where its all about 'each to their own' and 'live and let live' which is technically the wrong approach because from what ive heard if you see a sin happening and u know for a fact its haram then tell the person in the best way possible, otherwise you get their share of sin too!! but unfortunetly its frowned upon....
my cousin went to a wedding in pakistan recently and although they are religous enough and very sound people they did some very shirk filled rasams clearly are haram and my aunty didnt hesitate to mention this....now some may call it being a party pooper but the reward Allah gives is much greater than petty comments made my jaahil aunties :D
i personally know many religious families are more aware of these kind of wedding and cultrual rasams. they strictly follow and you cant win in arrangement of all events if the wedding of their own sons/daughters, but if they are guests in other wedding parties they immediately start preaching that this is not islam, and wedding should not include mehndi, mayon etc.
yup i am interested to know that too. personally, i feel that a wedding is a time of joy and a little fun wont hurt. when i get married, il have my mehndi with only girls and male cousins only just four of them all younger than me
I heard an alim say that the ring ceremony is shirk. The original concept behind wearing the ring in the ring finger is that it would increase love, strengthen relationship or whatever. By imitating that practice, you're expecting barkat in your relationship from a ring and not Allah swt, hence its shirk. shrugs I saw a muslim Pakistani wedding video from the 80's the other day and there was some coconut breaking rasm going on... what in the world?!
Anyway, I don't know if it'll make us better muslims, Inspi, but it certainly will add more barkat to the event if we respected the Quran and Hadith during the event. Giving gifts is actually encouraged in Islam. As for spending money, moderation is the key, but its your hard-earned money, do what you want with it.
PS: Has anyone seen a Persian wedding video? The bride's usually wearing a dress with her boobs nearly popping out and as per the tradition she reads the Quran (while dressed like that) before the groom comes in and sees her :/ I find it equally strange when we don't take a single namaaz break during a wedding but then place a Quran on the bride's head during rukhsati.
well for starters showing off is a minor shirk in itself (which is what most weddings are all about)....which leads to all the other rubbish we call 'culture' and 'tradition'
mayoon's/mehndi's - thousands of euro's being spent on a hindu rasam? having the best DJ and the biggest sound system and flashiest dance floor? im not saying having a 'Mehndi celebration' is wrong when it is in line with our faith and there is no "nazar uttaring" with money, and veg and salt and all sorts (warding off evil in that sense is also shirk), but when it crosses all limits of Islam thats when it becomes dangerous....but 'its just a little bit of fun' they say its 'tradition' 'rasams'
the biggest and worst of all rasam - holding the quran over the brides head....why should the bride leave with the quran's saya? why not Allah's 'Saya' and to have Allah by your side we do not need to hold the quran over our heads....do we do this before leaving the house? no....we seek Allah and hope to come back home safe and sound...then why do this at the wedding...
i know everyone is going to argue my points....i know people are going to gang up on me for being the preacher....a party pooper and not sure what else.....but its what i failed to see just like many fail to see...or see and ignore...
Allah know's best inshAllah
P.S. Barbie thank you so much for pointing this all out!! i thought i was going to be the only one
But a ladies only mehdni with dolki and singing and dancing - no DJ or dance floor etc at home isnt wrong right?
Our fam never does the quran thing either.
But some members of my fam are not allowing for any money at all to spent on like ANYTHING.
Its a Nikkah in the mosque and a home cooked meal for 30-40 people after. Bas.
This uncle of mine is LOADED - I know he is as he is my dads bro and basically yeah.
This puts pressure on other members of family who want to give people gifts or have dholkis are buy a nice dress for their daughter or have a yummy dinner for family.
