So once you got engaged and/or married, did your relationship with your parents change?
Some girls have told me that their parents get less strict and they have more freedom. And then it seems like others, like mine get stricter. Also, m mom seems to be testier and easily annoyed (much more so than before ) since the engagement. (A part of me thinks she’s subconsciously trying to prepare for that moment when I will no longer be her daughter but someones wife I hope things get better when things cool off a little bit.
What about guys and their parents? Did anything change between you and your parents?
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
They are a lot more protective, not letting me stay out late and things like that, totally against mixed gatherings(lol like i am gonna find another guy) and they ALWAYS want me around!
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
^ And it wasn't like that before you got engaged? For sake of argument, assuming that you did that stufF (stay out late, mixed gatherings etc), i'd imagine it'd be pretty difficult and VERY tense to try to adjust to that. For me it would be like adjusting to my life when I was 16. But since I don't have too much freedom to begin with (helluva lot more than at 16) I'm not in any fear of "losing" anything. Something like that lol.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
My parents were more relaxed in the sense that they didnt worry constantly. I also dont go out that much, its just work to home and home to work basically. Any outings are done mostly with family or atleast my sister (who also happens to be my best friend) so going out alone or after hours wasnt that big of a deal to begin with. But one thing they were lax about was listening me talk abt my guy friends. I think they got the point that if i was interested in any of my guy friends or they in me, i wouldnt have gotten engaged to someone else.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
You will stay her daughter no matter what
But yeahj I guess you are right. The opposite happened with my sister btw. My mom took her shopping every other week They went here and dit that, And now its been two years (almost) since she got married and they still go shopping atleast twice a month
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
I know DP but you know..now you have a whole new family..its complicated , i dunno how to xplain.. It doesn’t matter how great the future in laws might be, its still sad and nerve wracking leaving your parents, if not literally leaving your parents home, but the relationship still changes. Marriage is a big step and a big change in ones life…i’m not making any one particular point, just rambling my thoughts :halo:
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
It changes, but I don't think it's specifically better or worse. It's just different. I do think there is a bit more freedom, a bit more comaraderie. They are still people I listen to, but because they know I have obligations to my husband as well, they are not demanding in the same way.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
If you're engaged then they probably don't want you to risk in pre-martial sex which could make the marriage lose all its blessings from Allah (SWT). I would be protective of my children if/when they get engaged too,
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Just be careful. Because sometimes parents go through a period where they feel like they are losing you. I know my mom sort of felt like, all the work she put into raising her daughter, and someone else was "getting" her. And that's despite the fact that my in-laws are not at all strict or restrictive or whatever. They're quite liberal and open-minded. But Ami went through a period of uncertainty where eventho I still thought of her as the same mom she always was, she felt like she had lost her daughter to someone else. That made her more defensive and stuff. When she got more used to it adn realized that that was not the case, things changed.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
That's exactly what i was trying to say to D_P. I think inlaws are a totally independent thing when it comes to this, it doesnt matter how liberal or strict or watever, the feelings are all the same btwn parents and their children.
I wanna know about the guys, how they felt, if anything at all changed?
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Like Sahar said, my mom got really defensive too :D For some reason she would get offended if anyone from my exinlaws to be would call me directly. Alot of times it seemed as if she wasnt happy to see my happy but i guess she was confused as well as to where she was going to stand in my new life.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Lol my mom blows up everytime i ask a question like, when are we going to set the date? when are we gonna get the invitations? etc etc..she screams WHY DO YOU WORRY!! I CANT WAIT TIL YOU’RE GONE
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
yes it gets chance your feeling would change after engeg and wedding and parents would be more carefull about u i remember when i get engage my father and mother both was never let meto go university lonely they want me to go with them ....................
like many things would chance your question took me in past days well now smiling that mom dad never say no if asked any thing related to eating burger and kabab roll before my engag dad become angry says why u like this rubbish things
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
like many things would chance your question took me in past days well now smiling that mom dad never say no if asked any thing related to eating burger and kabab roll before my engag dad become angry says why u like this rubbish things
yes when it is arranged marriage Parents get more carful about you. They hear you better :) but in any case they were not involved in your Engagment, then things may go opposite. Well i m agree with you Zehra
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
My mom was very sentimental when it was my rukhsathi. Also my mom tried to spend more time with me and make me spend more time with the family before I got married. What's funny is I was trying to go out as MUCH as possible before shadi with friends and family and enjoy every last minute. I had love marriage and was excited but still your family is your family, and things change after marriage. Now even though my husband doesn't tell me I can't go out...its hard to hang out in the same way as before cuz of responsibilities. After work and school, there is only so much time you have, so I wanna spend it with hubby. My mom doesn't seem to understand that...she always invites me for dinners and takes it personally when we are unable to come. She doesn't understand that I have to do my deal and study....she takes it like I don't wanna spend time with them anymore
get stricter. Also, m mom seems to be testier and easily annoyed (much more so than before 
) since the engagement. (A part of me thinks she’s subconsciously trying to prepare for that moment when I will no longer be her daughter but someones wife 
I hope things get better when things cool off a little bit.
They went here and dit that, And now its been two years (almost) since she got married and they still go shopping atleast twice a month 