Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Dont know about gals relationship but let me confess, I became more frank to my parents after getting married before that i was relatively a bit hesitant.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
well im gettin engaged in january n im hopin dt i'll av more freedom!!!
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
One more thing that I have heard is that if a mangni/nikah has been done but not ruqsatti, parents say well you are an amanat in our trust so we have to be extra vigilant.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
i think dt ur parents r jst gettin strict coz dey actually wna spend more tym wid U... coz u will b leavin dem soon
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
ive become a lot closer to my mum since i got married.. well we dont argue anymore which is a real plus sign. Having said that, me moving out has made the bond b/w my mum and younger sister very strong too.. sometimes i even get jealous and miss it cus i used to be just like that with mum…
my parents were pretty cool during my engagement period.. my parents love my hubby.. my mum used to get worried when we went out together but she didnt mind too much.. and she trusted both of us… hmmmm 
the time u have with ur family before u get married, u will never have again.. i mean even if u see them twice a week or more, it wont be the same… there is a difference…
like for example, when i go to my mums, my bro ALWAYS tells us to stay the night.. (he never cared much about me before me thinks) but he always stays to stay over.. and like i really do wanna stay over but i feel odd. It’s just wierd. Im like… no i gotta go home and sleep in my bed… even though i have my own room at mums.. and my bed, im now thinking that my room is the one at my and hubby’s home.. wierd..
just small things..
neways.. i think u should try to make the most of the time u have with ur parents and family… just do everything! i didnt get much time to hang out with them before i got married cus we were in paki.. and it was just crazy there… just didnt get any quality time to spend together… so try to make the most of it… and give ur mum a hug now and then hehe 
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Awwww sadzzz thats so shweet 
Well, i think ill still have another year before I’l be living away from parents.. I know things will change slightly after the nikkah but i guess the moving out part wont be so scary ..
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
^ i used to think the moving out part wasnt hard at all but it was… when i got back from the honeymoon, i didnt quite know which house to go to .. but then i just refused to dwell on it… u know like i just told myself, that i have to do this and thats it… plus, i had had about 3 weeks to adjust to being away from my parents… spent a week in pak with inlaws then away with hubby alone for a bit and another week in dubai with inlaws… so i did have time to adjust..
honestly, things change so much.. not in a bad way.. but u will feel a lot closer to ur parents. U’ll miss them heaps more.. just for the sake of missing them and u’ll prob cry.. i did and still do hahaha and they live 10 min away.. im such a sad case.. (its the pregnancy me thinks)
neways… all the best mate :k:
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
When i fight with my brother, my dad says tat don’t fight with ur sister, she is just a mehman for a couple of years, then u will miss her.. So i can see changes already 
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Hey Sara,
Congratulations on your engagement! Didnt know! May Allah(swt) bless you with many more happiness to come Inshallah.
Before I got married, my father was pretty strict regarding going out, what to wear & what not to wear etc. After the engagement, I was not even allowed to talk to him over the phone even though I did (chup ke say) even though mum knew!
Now that I am married, Alhumdullilah, he has calmed down! I can wear trousers with out wearing long shirts which cover my bottom (hehe) although still dressing modestly even though going to the cinema is frowned upon from him! :o
I think parents do tone down after marriage as they know their daughter is with someone etc and is being protected by someone reliable and loving and oh so caring Alhumdullilah! :halo:
But I miss them big time, i constantly think about them and the life before marriage! Life is never the same but as long as they know your happy, then they are happy!
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
I had my Civil ceremony in in Feb 2001 and my mum totally changes her attitude towards me, screaming shouting arguing with me at every opportunity. When it came to setting the date, she threatened me not to set it any earlier than June 2001. I had Nikaah and ceremony in July 2001 and when I got back from honeymoon we went straight to mums. We were driving to our new home in NW England a week later so stayed with mum...when it came to packing the car and saying goodbye, she stepped back and away when I tried hugging her. That HURT so much.
Before marriage my relationship with mum was really good....she raised me and my sister alone after divorcing when we were little. After marriage she became distant......even when I lost my babies through miscarriage she wasn't as involved or caring as much as she ought to be.
My sister is now married and lives with mum, and they are apparently close, whereas my sister is the one who has always given her grief (from the moment she was conceived according to mum!!)
Mum doesn't even come and stay with me anymore, and when she DID stay with me whilse hubby was away, she gave no support when I had a early miscarriage - she even made me drive home with her in the back!
I concluded that:
A) she can't see my suffering
B) she resents me being happy when her marriage ended so early (after 7 years)
C) someone has done nazar on us
At the end of the day they are our parents, our faraz is to make them happy......but what some parents forget is that it is also their faraz on us to make us happy and respect us
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Awwwwww.. :(
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Ummm..i think no big changes in my case...
I didn't go out that much anyway, i still don't...so my parents never had to worry about me being out late or whatever. If i go out, that is usually with family or very close friends that my family know pretty well...
i do feel my parents have become a little lenient in some cases...but like sara's mom, my mom also gets annoyed easily...she constantly advises me what i should and what i shouldn't do..susral main ja ke ye na kerna..waghaira waghaira...
but its all good...i think we are still close to eachother...i know i m going to miss them ALOT...i THINK i will be moving to Dubai...i dont know yet....
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
privacy is definitely rrequired for the new couple once they are married.
& parents of both the man and the woman must respect that.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
I’m gettin nikkahed in like 3 weeks InshaAllah and since my baat pakki like a few months ago my mom has been keeping an eye on me and keeps questioning me if i go sumwhere n keeps on callin to check up on me!! She never did dat before. She knew i used to hang out wid him before but now im not supposed to 
She is always crying to people about me getting married even tho im not havin a rukhsati until summer and i wud be living like 10 mins away…they feel like once im nikkahed they wud hav no right on me…which is not true!! dey’ll remain my parents u know…but dey dont understand and my dad keeps on fighting wid me over lil lil things like a lil kid and has gotten really emotional for instance if i would ask my fiance for sum advice he wud get all jealous and wud give me a different advice and wud want me to listen to him instead. I guess its cuz he feels like hes not wanted anymore but i feel like he doesnt like him but then again why wud he want me to marry him i dunno…its juss so sad gosh i hav tears in my eyes 
its juss dat i love my dad soooo damn much 
n i dont wana fight wid him.
My lil sis hates my fiance and is always rude to him juss cuz hes gona take me away. When im on da phone wid him she purposly comes in and wants me to ignore him for her.
My older sis thinks iv changed into a diff person since iv been engaged… like he has changed me or sumthin which is not tru!!! And if i try to keep in touch wid his family esp his sister she gets all jealous and fears that she’s gona take her place!! Which is no way possible!
So basically my family is all goin crazy tryna make me pick sides!!!
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Hmm one thing that comes to mind, she is more vigilant abt who i’m talking to and when i come home a lil later than usual.. before she dint make a big deal, i cud be on the phone til like 3-4 AM and she wudnt hear/care, but now she does ask n stuff :halo:
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
^She's doing her job.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
Wat u guys say..if a girl is doing job b4 her nikah or wedding, and after rukhsati the money she earns from her job, should it go to her parents home or with her in her in-laws??????
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
[QUOTE]
..if a girl is doing job b4 her nikah or wedding, and after rukhsati the money she earns from her job, should it go to her parents home or with her in her in-laws??????
[/QUOTE]
the money is her's ........& she can do whtever she wants with it........if she prefers sending it to her parents...then her wish....& if she prefers sending it to her in-laws....again her wish........
*islamically she has the right to do whtever she wants with her earned money(as long as it is not in haraam)........ *
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
i dont knw i am confused...wat should i do..if nt given to parents they will say that we brought you up,,and made you study,,and nw u earning and maerried so forgot us....
And if nt given to inlaws they will say she prefers her parents home still..
u knw paki culture.
Re: Relationship with parents after engagement/nikkah/marriage..
well in such a case……divide it in half…give one half to ur parents…& the other half to ur inlaws…simple…