la hawla wala quwwat … who taught your basics???
[/quote]
Is there a problem my friend?
Oh I understand the use of the world children. I meant it is Allah who creates us. I should have written Allah forgives his creation.
It would be.nice if you weren't so harsh and simply pointed the mistake put rather than being mean? We are all here to learn from one another
Re: relationship dillema
you made a mistake by being in physical relationship with him but don't make another mistake if you already feel this way about his family and him. Ask for forgiveness from Allah and use better judgement for your future. Allah is most forgiving and knows what is inside our hearts.
Re: relationship dillema
islamically, you are not bind with him. you both are still na-mehram.
Re: relationship dillema
la hawla wala quwwat ...... who taught your basics???????
to OP.... am i the only one who thinks you should get married to him ....since from your second post he seems to be a good guy then why not get married and give it a try?? .... ...btw, dont call it 'love'.... they say love is blind and you ('you' in general) dont find faults in him/(in his family) and aim to change the whole world for him and all those blah blah dialouges but in your case YOU seems to find tons of issues with him/his family and even concerned about your future kids ... so yeah thats tells me you are quite practical girl and just want to being physical him through proper channel..... so get married, it may work for you ...who knows...
errr where did YOU learn YOUR basics?
you seriously have a messed up view of relationships if you think a marriage like this will work.
Re: relationship dillema
i think yourfriend is using sarcasm.
Re: relationship dillema
Oh gosh what a messed up lady. You know the lad and his family is complete waste of space so why marry him. If i was a girl i would never ever marry a taxi driver no matter even if he is Mr World.
I reckon you need get your acts right. You are just screwing your life, better you sort it now otherwise aftersometime you will call yourself Wasted Youth
Re: relationship dillema
ummmmm what do you love this guy for?
-doesn’t have a proper education.
-doesn’t seem religious :
-his family creeps you out.
- doesn’t seem to have a good heart ?
I don’t see why you’re drooling over him? just cause of that one night:smack:
Re: relationship dillema
You can judge a person by the company they keep. If you hang around with low lifes then that is what you deserve.
Re: relationship dillema
ok for everyone arguing whether or not she should tell her future husband about this (if she chooses to leave this guy in the first place), I found this:
Re: relationship dillema
After reading your dilemma I was blown away because I knew of one exactly the same and it 's scary how similar. Before I say anything else, no matter how much he loves you and how amazing he is and how much he has changed...this is the rest of your life you are talking about. Life and marriage isn't about what you see right now. There are much bigger problems esp when you have to deal with his family and at that point you will not be able to avoid them.
If you think that just because you guys had a physical relationship and it is worth you punishing yourself over it and staying with this guy out of the fear that no one else will marry you...TRUST ME!!! you will get married and to a guy who will UNDERSTAND! I am in no way advocating that you lie but you need to let someone else get to know YOU as a person and when this topic comes up you can explain to him what happened and that it was something you did in the past but at the end of the day it is between you and your God! And if a guy judges you based on that then they are not worth it! This is none of anyone's business but yours and your's alone!
Secondly, the whole over protective issue is just insane. If you think its hard for you to deal with this now? You can't even imagine what this will be like later! PLEASE get out while you can!!! If you think you can't leave now can you even imagine for a minute how hard it would be if you guys are engaged or married??? THEN you won't have an easier way to get out. A guy needs to have complete trust over you especially when you have given him no reason to distrust you. For him to not trust you without reason is extremely disrespectful and you should not tolerate that. Granted that there are certain rules and ettiquetes of a relationship but overprotectiveness to a psycho extent is never justified no matter how many "good" things there are about the relationship. It will always be the root cause.
The whole not going to high school thing is a whole other issue that I don't even want to get started on.
But seriously...RED FLAG!!! Pleaseeeee get out of this!!! You are going to hurt your parents a lot if you stick to this and trust me they could get over your mistake of a physical relationship but they will never be able to get over you getting hurt or living a stressful, disrespected and emotionally abused kind of life that may lead to a very damaging relationship. Parents get over their children's mistakes and you don't have to tell them but they will never be able to get over their child being hurt or be in a bad place like this. Please don't put yourself through this wreck you call a relationship. I understand how hard it is to detach from something so strong like this but rationally this is not wise and you will regret not leaving when you could have. and I promise you...it will take a lot of time but you will get over this relationship if you decide to walk away and you will be stronger because of it and prouder of yourself for making the decision to do so.
Re: relationship dillema
Hey, is he, like, super duper cute and good looking?
Re: relationship dillema
I just wish some people come out of their Bollywood-fairytale-bubble of life some time soon!
Ok i understand the story from your Point of view and respect ur emotions ....and i do feel sorreh for u .. but all i never understand is that ...... We're living in 2011 and stupid repetative bollywood style storiez still exist ...like come on ...seriously???? how can some girlz be soo easily forced into doing anything like that (sex). Im not any religiouse person here and i dont even pray every day five times a day But its common sense...why would u even do somethin like that, like its not so much about having sex with him, its more about, wherezz ur self respect? come on ...no one nothing nor any circumstance should be able force anyone into anythin like that ...if he truly loved u he would of not kept bugin ya about it. Anywayz i really never understand how some ppl dont think about the consequences before geting into a relationship ....if u and/or ur family have strict demands about your future guy, then why not question them before falling in luv with them? I dont understand how some ppl forget about everything when their after a guy... Like come on he is not ur everything. Anywayz now that u've done all this.... It doesnt really matter what u do now ...i guess do whatever makes u happy now ..atleast that way someone will be happy. actually it may be better if y marry ur luv cuz if u do marry some other guy and u wont be honest and wont luv him.. Obviously it aint gonna last long. And its gonna hurt everyone. If u had the gutz to luv him and be with him then u should also have the gutz to convince ur parents now.
Sorreh if i said anything mean and offended u ..but really its true and u were the only one who put urself into that mess. And i understand how u feel now, but really u should have thought all about this before.
Anywayz im glad u realize that it was wrong to have a physical relationship that was without ur will.