relationship dillema

[Theorist]

Re: relationship dillema

@sumsum190

Thank you so much for the honest feedback everyone, really appriciate it and needed it. First off, my bf has completely changed since we became official as I said before, he is a very hard worker, and he takes care of his whole family bills and he is very honest, he does respect me and he is geniunely a very caring person towards me and his family. His issues with my social life really bother me, I used to be a very independent person, and now I am emotionally dependant on him. His family is just plain wierd i am scared that somehow he is going to be like them. Yes I repent the sin I’ve committed but don’t you guys think it would be a bigger sin to walk out and leave him? I would feel like a complete slut who got her pleasure and walked out afterwards. he loves me, cares for me, and wants to be with me. I dont think I can change the few things in him, and definitely not his family at all. And say if I do breakup with him, who will marry me? I cannot tell my parents they are not in the condition to bear this fact at all and nor will be ever. Oh, and he is not the kind who would blackmail my parents and stuff or go around and tell people of what we’ve done. He doesnt have any friends at all to start off with so I dont know anyone who he would tel. Once again thank you for the honest replies. I really did need a third person opinion.

If you weren’t so troubled, you wouldn’t have come here for an advice. I can understand where you are coming from but you need to look at your life and what you want from it. Is he the most important person in your life? Is he someone you can’t live without? Are you willing to give up whatever he says for him for the rest of your life? Is he even worth it? His family may not seem like an issue right now but once you start living with them, you are going to have issues. If you want to marry this guy, you gotta get financially independent and live away from his family. It’s SO important. I can relate to your story somewhat and that’s why I said previously some people DO change but you shouldn’t expect them to change. Are you willing to take that risk? If he is as responsible as you say he is, you have to continue pushing him to do better. You have to keep reminding him that if he sees his future with you, he needs to do better. BUT do not depend on him. I am sure you go to school, continue going to school and don’t marry the guy until you can support yourself. Once you know you can support yourself, little things won’t be an issue.
Some people aren’t just cut out for school and I get that. Like I said if you can support yourself even that won’t be an issue.

AND DO NOT LIVE WITH HIS FAMILY IN THE SAME HOUSE NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE PRESSURES YOU INTO IT! DO NOT DO IT! If you want this relationship to work, you have to make him understand how important THIS is to you. Give him the ultimatum that if he wants you, he has to listen to you.. You will at least then know how important you are to him! Do not sacrifice your life for him. You can do so much better! You come from a great family and you have such a bright future ahead of you..Woh kehte hain na pyar to gadhay bhi hojata hai.. You don’t see it right now but you will see it so clearly once you are out of this problem. it’s better to remember your mistake and laugh about it than to remember you made a mistake and realize your life is the result of that mistake.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for young women to become financially independent before they get married. As long as you have your life in control, you should be fine. Being financially independent secures your future against a lot of things that can go wrong in a marriage. Good luck!