Rejected for being a "punjabi"

[Guppshupper]

Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”

@Reha

**In the Hyderabadi thread, Hyderabadis were specifically called out on being bad hosts and loud and whatnot. **

Here, we have a rejection based on simply being Punjabi…big difference. The OP’s rishta people did not say anything negative about Punjabis that I have read. They had a preference though.

I don’t hate black, white, Hispanic, Punjabi or any other ethnicity but I imagine it being a bit hard marrying into them.

The Punjabis I know are all very jovial, nice and straightforward people. I like them a lot but I found it easier to be married to an Urdu speaking guy…and I wasn’t actually looking for one either…he just happened to be one. In fact, when I met him I thought he was Punjabi because he was born in Lahore.

WRONG!!!

I reproduce the original post below for you and rest of the people to go through thoroughly.

@rx988

So a friend (I swear its not me) of mine might get married to a hyderbadi (indian) guy. The chance of her getting married to this guy is like 10% in my opinion due to other reasons, anyways long story short she is also not sure about hyderbadi culture. I have told her that their food is different. what are other differences? do they speak different language? I think that their accent is a little different? So I guess my questions are?
how are hyderabadi indians different than pakistani people?
if you are a non hyderbadi, were you able to adjust with them?
how are hyderabadi indian guys compared to typical pakistani men?

If you read the red parts.
1). The reasons for possible rejection (.i.e 90%) are ‘other reasons’ - not the ethnicity.
2). The person asked question, inquiring about possible differences between cultures and lifestyle - nowhere did you see any ‘negative’ presumptions - mere questions, those too in order to have some knowledge to assess compatibility (which means no automatic rejection based on ethnicity - rather adjustment issues)

So, please do not try to twist the facts and perpetuate ethnic dislike in the guise of ‘preference’ ONLY when it suits your view point.

@khattichic

For my own sanity, and to make sure I wasn’t imagining things, I dug up a not so old thread from 2014 about “Turn Offs” and without any provocation or reason, Hyderabadis/Indians/Mumbai walay girls were the top “deal breaker” for marriage by you guessed it…Punjabis. Apparently the Hyderabadi dialect and the mere fact that the girl is of Indian descent is a bad thing and throws an otherwise decent girl out of the running. That’s not ethnic bias? The amount of likes and quotes and agreement and snubbing was very telling. It goes both ways.

Btw, the guppan who made that preference known is a decent fellow who I otherwise like very much..I would never throw out racist labels on him. It’s his or anybody else’s preference.

Let’s just not pretend that Urdu speaking/Muhajjirs/Indians and espeicially Hyderabadis don’t get there fair share of prejudice/stereotyping/alienation on this forum because it’s quite common.

I am glad you admitted that. You felt bad about ethnic bias against one set of people - you make sure it ‘goes both ways’, sort of tit for tat. You shouldn’t hold feelings - reply then and there.Thats all that i expect from decent people in discussions to do. Be clear and straightforward in your stance and convictions. Wishy washy political correctness takes away from honest exchange of ideas.

PS: I would like link to that thread.

PS: Do we have male guppans too here?

Btw, the** guppan** who made that preference known is a decent fellow who I otherwise like very much..I would never throw out racist labels on him. It’s his or anybody else’s preference.