So those that have been through a relationship (and it doesn’t have to be an ex SO) that didn’t quite end in the best possible way…
Do you regret having said stuff about the ex?
Perhaps you did his/her bura’ee and now realize that it might have been exaggerated. Perhaps you said things in anger…
Perhaps you shared some personal details that really were nobody’s business.
Whatever the case…do you regret it?
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
Do I regret it? Nope - because if/when I do talk about it, it's in response to why haven't any of your prior rishtas worked out, and then I explain it.
I've always prefaced any remarks about prior rishtas with, "I hope he's happy in whatever the future brought to him" but I don't mind telling the new person what I found unacceptable about the previous guy. It's usually just limited snippets that I share and I'm careful about not saying very much.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
its different for men and woman.
women regret if they don't tell.
Men regret if they do.
Guys, take my advice no matter how many stories your wives tell you.... never ever ever ever tell them .. about your flings...
EVER...
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
monk 
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
I've had to sit through dinners and lunches listening to guys talking about how their ex ripped their heart out of their chest and stomped all over it or how she was a psycho or how she was so selfish. Guys LOVE to talk about their exes!
And these same guys hate to hear about there having been another man in a girl's life before them. One guy hated my mentioning rishtas (we're talking about proper through the family introductions and strictly talking to a guy on the phone or meeting in the presence of family type of rishta). Talk about double standards and maybe a bit of a control/possessive nut.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
I've had to sit through dinners and lunches listening to guys talking about how their ex ripped their heart out of their chest and stomped all over it or how she was a psycho or how she was so selfish. Guys LOVE to talk about their exes!
And these same guys hate to hear about there having been another man in a girl's life before them. **One guy hated my mentioning rishtas (we're talking about proper through the family introductions and strictly talking to a guy on the phone or meeting in the presence of family type of rishta). Talk about double standards and maybe a bit of a control/possessive nut.
**
I had a similar experience. A guy I was in the process of getting to know (pretty early in the game) was REALLY open (like TMI status open) about his previous attempts to woo girls (all fails btw). Then HE asked ME about my past (I have a really pathetic, nonexistent one) but he couldn't handle even the super G-rated stuff that I had to say and got really upset that I would tell him that...wtf!?
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
Do I regret it? Nope - because if/when I do talk about it, it's in response to why haven't any of your prior rishtas worked out, and then I explain it.
I've always prefaced any remarks about prior rishtas with, "I hope he's happy in whatever the future brought to him" but I don't mind telling the new person what I found unacceptable about the previous guy. It's usually just limited snippets that I share and I'm careful about not saying very much.
A rule in corporate life that I learnt is the when you are giving interviews, never ever bad mouth your previous employer. That only slim down your chances of securing this job. Employers just do not like the applicants who vent about their ex-employers.
I personally think that its a very good rule to apply in real life also.
(o btw I learnt that rule not as an interviewee but as an interviewer)
My 2 cents.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
Never ever share your past failures with your potential husband. It can go against you in future. I am giving you a $1000 advice! Don't say anything more than the following lines if you can't absorb a secret. "it didn't work out" period.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
A rule in corporate life that I learnt is the when you are giving interviews, never ever bad mouth your previous employer. That only slim down your chances of securing this job. Employers just do not like the applicants who vent about their ex-employers.
I personally think that its a very good rule to apply in real life also.
(o btw I learnt that rule not as an interviewee but as an interviewer)
My 2 cents.
The same rule goes about you current boss , do not badmouth him to anybody , period. If you have anything talk to HR only.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
***If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, 5 things observe with care: to whom you speak, of whom you speak, and how, and when, and where....
***I try to apply this to all facets of life...regardles if the relationship is personal or professional
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
"Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak good or remain silent."
[Al-Bukhari]
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
I don't badmouth my ex...I could but what's the point? This isn't about him and he doesn't define me. He is a closed chapter of my life...a brief summary is enough.
I have heard long drawn out venting sessions regarding ex's and its not pretty.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
So those that have been through a relationship (and it doesn't have to be an ex SO) that didn't quite end in the best possible way.........
Do you regret having said stuff about the ex? Perhaps you did his/her bura'ee and now realize that it might have been exaggerated. Perhaps you said things in anger..... Perhaps you shared some personal details that really were nobody's business.
Whatever the case.......do you regret it?
have never talked about her personal traits to anyone other than my mother.
and that too AFTER the breakup, when things got really really really nasty.
and that too only in response to my mother relating to me the hateful & despicable stuff she was totally falsely attributing to me.
possibly in an effort to rile me up and get some sort of response.
however, i kept mum. like zipped. no haan no naa! no reaction.
that was fun! guess that was my fair revenge on her.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
I have faaaar better things to do in my life than to waste my time thinking and speaking about him. 
Even if someone asks it makes me very uncomfortable and I would like to keep it short and precise.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
No I don't. He deserves this. I try not to even talk about him
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
some great advice here.....
there are many that feel they can share stuff with their "close" friends........and to some degree I will agree with that......but honestly the best advice per my experience is to keep things to yourself.
I've also come across folks that will fabricate and or exaggerate things so that they come across as the "victim" rather than represent at least a fair if not completely accurate account of what happened. (Karma did bite one such person in the behind though cuz her accusation of the guy was very quickly debunked when he remarried.)
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
A rule in corporate life that I learnt is the when you are giving interviews, never ever bad mouth your previous employer. That only slim down your chances of securing this job. Employers just do not like the applicants who vent about their ex-employers.
I personally think that its a very good rule to apply in real life also.
(o btw I learnt that rule not as an interviewee but as an interviewer)
My 2 cents.
I agree with you. No one wants to hear about negativity about someone else - it just makes you sound petty and vindictive. I think the key is not to volunteer information and not to malign someone else. But, will I lie to hide someone's flaws, then no - I won't do that.
some great advice here.....
there are many that feel they can share stuff with their "close" friends........and to some degree I will agree with that......but honestly the best advice per my experience is to keep things to yourself.
I'll be honest, my closest friends get the entire rundown of the situation - but it's because they're my friends and I need them to vent to. It's great some people can keep it all inside, but for me closure and the ability to move on to indifference comes from talking it out with someone - koi'ee to pursanay haal hona chahiyay.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
[QUOTE]
I'll be honest, my closest friends get the entire rundown of the situation - but it's because they're my friends and I need them to vent to.
[/QUOTE]
^this. I wouldn't regret it unless the person I told something to shares it with others.
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
Those friends you are claiming to be understanding will pass down the situation to randoms ;)... Trust me on this one! :)
Re: Regret Talking about the Ex?
boss those two situations are too remote. They are like light years away from each other.
Your post reminded me of redness and new redness(Sehrysh).
Its like you haven’t seen a min of life out of the books. Text book those are.
Bad influence for geeky kids… 