Convince me with solid reasons why i should keep tab of what people give me for shadi / birthday / child’s birthday / this day / that day and then give them back exactly that (or in that range) when i give them a gift on any of their occasions.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
The people I love I give them good stuff regardless of what they give me. But for tohers yeah it depends!
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
you dont have to…who says you have to:aq:
u shouldn't.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
Everyone likes gifts 
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
but you give gifts dil se and give it acc to wht you want not acc to wht the otehr person gave me.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
Fuking hell man, I can’t even pronounce that 
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
actually i dont have a reason 
but i still do it to a certain degree, or actually we look at our pocket/budget and then spend on gifts etc.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
I’ll surely reply once I figure out what the title of post is
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
The only reason I can think of is to remember who gave what so you don't regift them the same thing :)
Seriously though I guess so you have an idea that you should give at least that much or MORE for their occasion. Plus it helps to remember if someone was super cheap or what not, I dunno. For instance if on your marriage someone gave you $300.....and now that person is getting married and you show up with $50.....its a bit odd I guess...
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
Well this is an odd aspect of our desi culture… we compete regularly over who gives out more gifts…
And if someone can’t keep up in the gifts race they are looked down on 
I used to shower my relatives with gifts but i never thought i would see the day where i would be abandoned by them…
Hence since those days i only share gifts among those who are worthy of them.
Why deny your own self and your loved ones such lavish things when those whom you shower them upon leave you in the time of most need.
Best to gift those who are loyal :cobra:, praise those who are worthy:hypo: bash those who are bad…
and serve the rest with grim silence.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
There are two considerations when giving a gift:
1) How dear/important is the individual to me? If the answer is they matter to me - then I look at what I can afford and what I believe would please the recipient.
2) If the answer to the question above is the person is not very important/dear to me, then I look at both how much I can afford to spend as well as how much care/thought/consideration and yes, expense the other person expended on me in the past. The cost of the gift is relative to the thought - if the other person has modest financial means and gave a modest gift, I don't hold that against them IF the gift was thoughtful and useful. If I get a re-gift that they know I have no use for (i.e. a 1970s toaster) then yes, I will spend less on that person.
I like most others have a finite budget and if I am going to gift to others, I prioritize based on my relationship to the other person.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
Ummmm....so you can figure out who gave you a $5 deck of cards and who gave you a $100 gift card. You dont want to gift someone anything less than what they gift you, ideally speaking of course. If you cannot, its a different story.
But yeah, its generally so people can make sure they do just as much for their friends on their special moments.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
Also historically it was an important thing amongst the tribes to gift one another with things in hard times to help each other through.
For example on a weddign every one chipped in with something... and each time it was the same.
If one person was anti-socail they were a threat and booted out of the tribe.
Convince me with solid reasons why i should keep tab of what people give me for shadi / birthday / child's birthday / this day / that day and then give them back exactly that (or in that range) when i give them a gift on any of their occasions.
I can not convince you as I dont believe on it. I give people gift based on how much I value their friendship/relation (and how much I can afford off course) and now how much they do. My wife though is a firm believer of Reciprocatabilimatation and this is one of the source of our arguments.
Example, If I love my niece and give her $50 gift on her birthday, I'll not reduce it to $20 only because my sister is giving my son $20 gift. She might have her own parameters/restrictions.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
I can never remember what anyone else gave me 
. I usually give what I can afford.
It also depends on how close they are to me. If a dear friend, I would spend more … if a distant relative or something, it will be a standard amount.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
I think its important. I remember some far far away relative, me and my brother have never met gave a huge amount of money on my brother's wedding. That wasn't expected of course. If we didn't keep track of who gave what, we would've never guessed this widow who hardly has any money herself would give this huge amount. Now we know if we ever see her or go to any ocassion in her family, what to give her.
It's important to me to keep track of who gave me what.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
yea...cant believe i have actually seen some aunties sit down with their pen and notebook to write down what every single person gives out during salami at a wedding.
urgh. cheap.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
There is one entity that can convince you, and it is (believe it or not) your own self consciousness.
The way you showed your attitude, no one should convince you for anything. But, I am being generous today. So, I will at least give you a starting point: First persuade yourself that you can get convinced.
Re: Reciprocatabilimatation
I just don't give gifts, whether or not other people give me gifts. I find this policy saves me a lot of money and headache.